Birthdays & Pregnancy & Foam Pits & Graham Crackers

Summer's almost here!

There's so much to say, and to write. First of all, thank you guys for all the input on Tuesday evening's post. It's amazing to know that I am so not alone in these thoughts! I'm sure it will be a topic I'll revisit in the years to come, but for now reading all of your different perspectives gave me so much insight. Thank you.

So, update time. Life is good. My 31st birthday is in less than a week and I'm excited. My Mom always likes to say that it wouldn't be my birthday without a little crying on my part, but now I'm pleased to say the tears are usually reserved for happy reasons. Growing up though, I was such an emotional kid that I have some vivid memories of getting so, so upset during my small family birthday parties. Even as a little one I had a strange perfectionist flair, and I often had expectations that didn't match up to reality. And at age eight, I was a little too young to understand that I needed to let go of that. I can recall one birthday (and we have photos to illustrate this) where I blew out the candles too early, resulting in tears. Another year my Mom made a chocolate cake instead of pineapple upside cake, and of course, I cried. And yet another where I was given my first training bra (A BRA! Horror of horrors!) in front of some of my extended family. And you guessed it...tears! haha. Oh, emotional me. But nowadays my birthday tears are all happy and I hope this year is the same. Just no training bras or premature candle blow-outs, okay?

As far as the pregnancy, yesterday marked the first day of the third trimester. Um, excuse me? Where did the time go? I certainly don't feel like I should already be 27 weeks pregnant, but here I am, and here's that growing bump too. I've been feeling really great up until this week, when the fatigue kind of came back out of nowhere and has me wanting to sleep everywhere, and anywhere. I am NOT a nap person. If I fall asleep for even ten minutes I have the worst time getting to bed at night, but it's been unavoidable the past couple of days. I sit down for a second once Henry goes down for his nap, and I'm out like a light. The only other pregnancy thing going on is anxiety. This happened last time I was pregnant too, and it's not fun at all. Nothing serious like panic attacks or anything like that, but just an overall anxious feeling that comes and goes every once and awhile. But other than that it's been smooth sailing and I'm still in the "love being pregnant, would love to do it a couple more times if possible" club. That's the official name, if you didn't know.

My c-section hasn't been scheduled yet but I keep thinking about how strange it will be to know the exact date I'll be giving birth. Last time around I was past my due date and it was a very different experience than knowing when it would be happening. But this time I can shower, get ready, and drive calmly over to the hospital? Craaazy!

And what else is going on? Henry has been doing gymnastics once a week and loving it. He is a wild, physical, energetic little guy so it's been wonderful to have an outlet for him to be "safely crazy" in. The class is awesome, if not a little unstructured for my taste, but overall great. We start each morning with runs through their huge toddler obstacle course, and then throughout the hour they do a variety of activities- foam pit, trampoline, etc. It's a toddler paradise! Other things in our world: getting the nursery ready for Charlie, making progress on our backyard, and me trying to harness the ups and downs that these pregnancy hormones are making me feel. Hank...bless his patient heart! Oh and one last notable thing- have you ever eaten something to death? Not your death of course, but the food's death? I think I may have done this with graham crackers this week. When we got back from Disneyland I put off food shopping right away because I was too tired and figured we could make do with what we had in the pantry. After lunchtime rolled around and Henry went down for his nap I was ravenous for something (anything!) sweet, so I dug out a box of graham crackers and went to town. I ate quite a few of them, then a few more, and before I knew it I had polished off an entire sleeve. I felt sick the rest of the day and I am not sure if I can ever eat another graham cracker again. Sad day for the graham cracker over here...

Yours in random posts,

Danielle

Book Review: Delirium

 

Oh, YA novels, I love you so. I've been thinking about how much I enjoy reading dystopian literature while spending some time organizing our bookshelves this week, and realizing just what a long love-affair it's been. It started off at an early age with A Wrinkle in Time (although I suppose that book is much more sci-fi, really), and continued with The Handmaid's Tale, and then exploded as more and more awesome books appeared while I taught high school English. It was a treat discovering all of them right along with my students, and I think that's one of the main facets of teaching I miss; all of the reading and discussion.

This book I'm reviewing though, I tried to avoid for quite some time. I'm not really sure why, but I would see Delirium in my recommended Amazon titles every time I would log into the site. I had read the short summary a few times, but after reading so many other trilogies that sounded so similar, it just didn't hook me, and yet there it was, the same cover, always annoyingly begging to be read.

Then a couple of nights ago I couldn't sleep so I decided to just give it a go (at least it would finally get off my recs list!) and downloaded the sample to my Kindle. Of course, because this is just how things work with me, I was hooked. First off, the writing is really great, but even more so, the story is truly captivating.

You know I don't like to give much (if anything!) away, but here's a super short little hook for you. It's all about a regular old girl, living in a regular old place (a futuristic Portland, Maine), who is just trying to live her life in the confines and insanely rigid structure the government has set in place. In this world "love" is seen as a disease, and around your 18th birthday you get the cure, although many people become "infected" before this, which is dangerous and deadly, as far as society is concerned. I'm sure you can guess what maybe happens next, but trust me, it's worth the read.

Delirium had me on the edge of my seat, and crossing my fingers that it would all work out. It's a wonderful read- a fast book that keeps on moving- and it's book that makes you think about what we deem important in our own society, and what we see as important in our own lives. With a protagonist you want to root for, and a society you'll end up hating, I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading about love, adventure or a world gone bad that might have a little good left in it, somewhere (this is the part where I always feel like I'm on Reading Rainbow).

Let me know if you decide to check it out!

image above via Books Complete Me
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Disneyland, Day Two!

Day Two was 100x better from the get-go because Henry went to bed right away the night before, and stayed asleep the entire night. We went from getting 3-4 hours of sleep the night before, to a full 8, and it made all the difference. Friday morning was our Character Breakfast at the restaurant in our hotel, so we headed down to The Storyteller's Cafe for our 8am reservation. I'll talk more about this in my tips/tricks/what worked for us post next week, but it was just okay. Maybe we'll try again when Henry is older but to be honest it wasn't anything super-special and either was the buffet or menu items. However Henry DID enjoy those Mickey waffles. I remember eating the same ones when I was a kid going to Disney World, and really, who doesn't like Mickey Mouse-shaped waffles?

After breakfast we decided to spend our morning at California Adventure. Although we had a Magic Hour for that park, we missed it by doing the breakfast, but it wasn't too bad at all first thing in the morning. Last time we were at Disneyland we did CA Adventure but they didn't have Cars Land or any of that going on, and let me tell you...WOW. That part of the park is absolutely amazing. A must-see, must-do, even if you're not a Cars fan. Hank and I kept remarking that that part of the park will be the future of amusement/theme parks for sure. It's just over the top and really neat.

Henry couldn't go on too many rides, but he was big enough to go on Mater's Junkyard Jamboree and he enjoyed that. His main joy though, was just walking around and feeling like he was right in the movie. It seriously blew his mind. Over by the Cozy Cone Motel you can also meet Tow Mater or Lightning McQueen and although the first few times he was scared (see the cute running away photo below), by Saturday night he was an old pro at walking up and talking to them- they're interactive!

After we did Cars Land for a bit we walked around the boardwalk area, which I loved. There's so much to look at, and even though again, Henry was too small to enjoy the rides we still had a good time. One thing I wish is that I would have gone on the Ferris Wheel, especially since they had moving and non-moving compartments. In case you're wondering, I'm not much of a dare devil and am firmly in the non-moving camp! But anyway, after we made our way through that area we still had a good hour or two before naptime, so we took the train over to Toontown to meet Mickey in his house (more on that next week too). Henry was SO excited, and we were too- I feel like that was the holy grail of character meet and greets, and we got it done. Awesome. So we snapped some cute photos and then headed back to the hotel for his nap...by this point he was ready to pass out in his stroller.

Once Henry woke up we went to dinner at Ralph Brennan's Jazz Kitchen. It was an early meal, so it wasn't crowded at all, and the food was excellent. I ordered the catch of the day (pictured below) and besides loving it, we also found out that Henry loves fried calamari- who knew? And you guys, I got a Shirley Temple...we were getting crazy! ;) After dinner we returned (ahem, rolled our full selves) back to Disneyland with some ice cream at our favorite shop on Main Street, The Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor. Never mind the wait being 30 minutes...we'll just pretend they serve something a little fancier than Dreyer's. haha. Still delicious though, especially the Firehouse mint sundae Hank got (why does his ice cream always taste better than mine?!). We ended the night with fireworks on our balcony again, and went to sleep at another decent hour. Disneyland Day Two, we love you!

See Day One here.
 

Thoughts about the little face in this blog.

I think a lot about a lot, often to the point where I need to really step away from my thoughts, because I feel crazy that my mind just won't stop. And because blogging is a part of my life, I think about that a lot too. And lately I've had Henry's role in this blog on my mind. I wonder what it would be like, to grow up and to be able to look back and see one million photos of yourself in one online place, stories and thoughts, and every little bit of every little thing.

I've always tried to be very aware about what I post in regards to him. Never anything embarrassing, no weird stories he may one day hate, never an inappropriate photo, never a potty-training snap or even a bare-bum picture. No judgment for anyone who may have different boundaries than I, but for me it's a firm no. And lately I've just been thinking about all of this, and the fact that Henry really doesn't get a say. It's not his choice whether or not to be displayed in this space. He doesn't get a say in regards to whether or not he'd want a photo of him posted here every week, or letters I wrote to him while pregnant shared with the world. And although I feel like I'm careful with what I put out there, how do I really know that his older-self won't be upset about his role here? After it's all said and done, Henry's level of what's comfortable and what's not may be completely different than my own.

Sure there have always been writers and more recently, bloggers. As for me, I've been sharing my stories and life with strangers online since the 90s- but regardless, with the shift in social media, this is new territory for everyone. We are the first generation to be so entrenched in online documenting in such a way...and there's no guidebook to this Facebooking, Instagramming, blogging world. There are no rules to help us navigate, there aren't many people who have been blogging this whole time and now have a 30-year old that can say "it's fine, I don't mind having my entire life documented for the world to see." So we are all figuring it out on our own, yet together. And let me be the first to say, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Sometimes I worry that it's all too much. Sometimes I think it's really, really dumb to be "as online" as I am. Pointless, even. If it's all about documenting, they why don't I get myself a private blog and document my heart out? Why have an audience? But then I receive an email from a reader, telling me how much she connected with something I wrote, or I see a tweet letting me know how my recent post resonated with them, and it makes sense. Even for that minute, it makes sense. And so the see-saw goes back to the other side, and I forget about all of it, and I feel okay.

Every time I sit down to write about these things I tell myself to stop. It's all been said, right? But lately this topic of children on blogs and Instagram keeps popping up in my mind. How do they feel about it when they can't yet tell us? Are we doing a good enough job of protecting our children from not just other people, but from feeling uncomfortable later? Like I said above, no one did this before us to tell us how it all turns out. So we guess. We have no idea what the repercussions are for all of the little ones whose lives are so publicly documented. For me, part of that guessing is being extra-careful and respectful of Henry, and always keeping him in mind when I share things either here, or on Instagram. For other people it means never showing their child's face in a blog post or having a private Instagram, and for some it might not mean a lot, and their filter may have much bigger spaces in it.

I hope one day Henry enjoys looking back at this blog, reading the entries about what his Dad and I were like before him, what it was like during my pregnancy, and looking back on little snapshots of his life when he was a baby. I hope it's a gift. But in the meantime I will respect the little voice that doesn't have a say yet, the best I can (although then my over-thinking mind says, "but are you doing enough?").

So I ask you, have you thought about this? We all have different readerships and audiences, different boundaries and ideas of how to balance it all, and I'd love to hear your input and perspective!

Disneyland, Day One!

So last week we drove the 360 miles to Disneyland to spend a few days soaking up the California sun and get in one nice long family trip for the three of us before Charlie makes his arrival come August. We've been looking forward to Henry's first Disneyland visit forever, and although some people like to wait until kiddos are a bit older, we felt like this would be the perfect time (and it was!). He's is very into a few specific Disney things- Dumbo and Casey Jr. (the circus train in the movie), The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Captain Hook- so he was beyond excited from the moment we told him about our Disney plans.

We decided to stay at the Grand Californian for a few reasons, but the main being that it is right inside the park (we had a special entrance right into California Adventure- so convenient!) and it was super easy to walk back for Henry's naps. We met Hank's Dad and Step-Mom there too, and they liked the accessibility to the park and were won over with just how close the hotel was to everything. So great!

I thought long and hard about how I wanted to break this trip up, and even though I think 3 days of Disney posts is INSANE, I guess you guys can now call me insane. Haha. So this week I'll post three separate posts about each day, and then next week post a little something about what worked for us/what didn't when doing Disney and CA Adventure with a 2.5 year old...while pregnant. ;)

Soo, onto Day One!

We left for CA right when Hank got off work, and our main goal was to make it to Blythe by 6pm so I could be sure to have good phone service during a Twitter chat I was hosting. We made it on time, and Hank took Henry to play in the McDonald's Play Place while I spent an hour tweeting. I was relieved we made it because the week before I was so nervous about driving through such a bad cell-zone when I had a long-standing commitment. So happy when it was done, and it was at that moment I felt like vacation really started!

We didn't make it to the hotel until about 10pm and Henry decided not to sleep at ALL during this time. He's normally a great sleeper and has no problems snoozing in the car, but I think he was so amped up that it just wasn't an option. And that "amped up-ness" lasted all the way until 3am! Ahh! So, so crazy for a little one (and hello, us!) who rarely goes to bed past 7:30pm. He doesn't like sleeping in bed with us, so we brought his pack 'n play, which was also a problem because he never uses that either. But alas, at 3am he finally fell asleep.

We woke up around 7am, grabbed breakfast quickly and headed over for our "Magic Hour," which is an alternating early entrance into Disneyland or California Adventure that came with our hotel/park-hopper package. The first day our early entrance was into Disneyland so we hightailed it over there and enjoyed a really empty park for the first hour. I'm not sure if all of the areas were as empty as Fantasyland was, but we really wanted to do all of the things Henry was most excited for first, so it was perfect. His very first ride was Dumbo and he loved it. I'll never, ever forget his face the first time we went high up in the sky and of course I teared up a bit. I loved that all three of us could ride together, and it was just really, really special.

Afterward we headed over to the Casey Jr. Circus Train which we ended up riding a few times in a row, and this ride actually turned out to be a Henry favorite for the entire trip. The rest of the morning was spent going on the rides in Fantasyland, all being a success with the exception of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (he HATED it...and seriously, does that ride take you through hell?! So weird.) And as always, we tried to do the carousel and as always, he hated it after 5 seconds up on the horse.

After a morning of rides and exploring and walking around, Henry and I went back to the hotel so he could nap and Hank and his Dad grabbed fast passes for all of the things a pregnant woman and a toddler can't enjoy (like my very favorite ride, Space Mountain!), and they rode while Henry slept and I relaxed and read.

Once he woke up we all went back into the park to make it for our dinner reservation at The Blue Bayou. I have been wanting to eat there forever, so I was really excited to finally try it! If you're not familiar, it's the restaurant inside of the Pirates of the Caribbean- the one the boats all float past during the ride. While eating it really feels as if you're dining outdoors, right along the water, and it's truly magical. I got the Surf 'n Turf and both my filet and lobster were SO good. They also bring out some bread before and I think Henry and I could have eaten basket after basket of the sweet potato ciabatta. We were all really happy with the food, and left smiling and super full. 

After dinner we rode the train around the park a few times. Seriously, if Disneyland was just that train, Henry would be ecstatic. Even though I've been to Disney a few times I've never been on the train and I'm so happy we discovered it thanks to some advice from friends with kids. Henry was happy as a clam, and it was a nice way to see more of the park. It's a great thing to do with little ones, for sure. At the end of the night we all got churros (an every night ritual), then headed back to the hotel to watch the fireworks from the balcony.

 All in all...considering Henry was running on a measly THREE HOURS of sleep in the beginning, it was a successful day!

And for those who have been asking about Henry's Tattooed Mickey shirt, the wonderful folks at Hatch for Kids sent it to us, and you can find it here!