Thursday, May 7, 2009

10 honest things

1) I teeter between loving material things to an embarrassing extent, to really loathing consumerism. I hate that I love "things," but I love loving things at the same time. I've accepted that I will always love fashion and shopping and new things and cute things, but I can strive to not let my things define me.

2) Sometimes things are so good in my life that I almost feel like I am waiting for something to go wrong.

3) I want to make everyone feel good about themselves all of the time. I sometimes think maybe that's why I became a teacher. I love reading and I love educating, but most of all I like helping kids be happy and confident. Sometimes I even want to give kids that are struggling but really, really trying a surprise "A" for their report card grade just to make them feel great about themselves. I haven't done it yet, but I'm always tempted.

4) I really subscribe to the idea of karma and that every action will cause a reaction; negative to negative and positive to positive. For the past few years I've been mindful of this with everything I do.

5) I've finally accepted who I am (and still learning who that is), and I actually like me. I've had to go through quite a few personal journeys along the way, but I'm here and becoming my best self. I definitely still have some things to change but it's all moving in a good direction.

6) Hank is my soulmate, in the most insane, cosmic, earth shattering sort of way. Sometimes I don't understand how I won the love lottery when I feel I haven't always been the best person.

7) I am currently working on saying nothing negative about anyone, but I fail everyday. I will keep trying though. It's hard because it's so easy to find humor in "weird" people, or say something out of anger, spite, misunderstanding, boredom, etc. I know I will be in a much more peaceful place when I can accomplish this goal.

8) One thing I dislike about myself is that even though I have pretty much gotten to a point where I don't care what others think most of the time, I still stop and censor myself when I'm blogging- "I sound too happy, I sound too silly, I sound like I'm just trying to brag about good stuff." Ugh, I am trying to completely get over that and just share my life with others. People can perceive it how they will, but if my intentions are good, it won't matter if others misconstrue me.

9) I worry a lot about my sister marrying a douchebag and ruining our perfect family dynamic! Sounds silly, but I'm serious! She is so amazing and I hope with all of my heart she finds someone who is just as amazing.

10) I get really uncomfortable when friends try to be competitive with me. I don't like being drawn into that type of relationship and almost have to stop being friends with people for awhile if they get like that! I can't have people in my life who aren't happy for each others successes, and instead want to "one-up," or get the cuter thing, the next thing, etc. Who cares! Let's all enjoy each other and be happy, silly as it sounds.


  1. Ah! Number four! I am right there with you =] I'm not religious at all but I 100% belive there's a balance to everything and live by that ideal. It's simple, comforting, and doesn't have to be a huge moral worshiping struggle you know? =] I actually agreed with you on pretty much all of the things that could be applied to people universally (obviously not the hank one =P) #1 struck a chord with me. Ive always said I have a fine wine taste and a coke a cola budget so I'm slowly finding that balance between supporting the home stead/handmade life style and letting myself indulge in the finer expensive things.

  2. The fact that you recognize you haven't always been the best person that you can be and that you are working to change it is leaps and bounds better then most people. Because of my job I get to encounter all different types of people and it amazes me literally every day how awful some are. A conscious is an amazing trait not everyone has. =)

  3. Thanks ladies!

    Sydarella- I'm glad we are on the same page! We are not alone! ;)

    And Chanelle- thank you!

  4. Loved this post! Thanks for sharing!

  5. yes yes yes. screw censoring yourself for others. the ones keeping score are the ones who should matter the least anyway. only insecure, mean-spirited people are that critical and competitive. it's SO childish, it makes me embarrassed for them. i'm glad we both recognize this behavior pattern and resolve to stay away from it!!