Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Here's to all the wonderful people in my life -

some of you I've known for a long time, and we may not talk often,
some of you I've only met in the past couple of years,
some of you are in my daily life,

but all of you hold a special place in my heart. Cliche or not, it's true. Life happens, people drift apart and come back together. I firmly believe that everyone in my life is there for a reason, and everyone who has gone out of my life has gone that way for a reason too. I don't ever have hard feelings over stuff like that, maybe that's weird. Two of my dearest girlfriends and I spent years apart from each other, due to various reasons, a small fallout with one of them, but we've "rekindled" our friendship flames with each other over the past year or two. I've spent time across the country, visiting one of them, and the other I see on a pretty regular basis in both Prescott and Phoenix; she makes the most amazing effort to come visit Hank and me. People come and people go. If I would have just closed the door on those seemingly "lost" friendships, I wouldn't have the opportunity to have my life enriched so deeply by these amazing women. In both situations both myself and my friend could be held accountable for the drifting. But even if I love a friend so much, if I'm the only one making the effort I don't take it personally, because I've been there too. People are busy, people's priorities change, people go through things, and I'm not so self-centered as to think anyone in my life revolves around ME (besides my husband of course, haha!). I do understand though, that as adults, friendships take work. But with that said, I feel like friendships shouldn't be terribly hard- I feel like if people want to keep in touch, they will. It shouldn't be a chore, or a struggle. And when it becomes that, on either side, I feel like that's just the way it goes. If someone drifts from me, or me from them, I feel like that's life and I don't get upset about it, I simply accept it, and have faith that if someone is supposed to be in my life it will be that way, and if not, it won't. I have many friends in my life who I don't get to talk to regularly but it feels as if nothing ever changes- no resentment, no negativity. As adults, it's not realistic to expect others to have time to sit down and chat for hours, or sometimes even minutes. Luckily one of my best friends, Autumn, and I make time throughout the week for good solid hour-long chats. But that's us, and the only one of my friends I do this with, outside of my Mom. She's a stay at home Mama herself, so our schedules are able to work well together and throughout our long friendship we've always made the time. Another one of my oldest friends, Melissa, is a server at a super busy bar in Phoenix, and her schedule is opposite of mine, so we usually have to schedule phone calls in advance on her one day off if we want to talk at all. Amber and I talk every single day, all day, via blackberry messenger, and although we don't usually talk on the phone all of the time, we always know what the other is up to. It's not perfect, but we make it work. And I know when I do talk to any of the people I am closest to, it's as if no time has passed, and I know we'd be there for each other through anything. And to me, that is being an adult. We have husbands or boyfriends, children and pets, careers and college, meals to make, working out to do, reading, sleeping, me-time, date nights, LIFE. The older I get, and the more I look back at my life, I know that in my past I have been both inconsiderate and flaky. And very much so, to the point of losing friends. In fact, a majority of my late teens and into college was spent being a great friend to my friends immediately around me, but having issues keeping in touch with other friends who weren't in my day to day life. It's just what I was like. I accept it now, it doesn't bother me, and the friends who I've been close with through that entire time are still here, over a decade later. Luckily, now, it's gotten a bit easier to make the effort- it's fun to mail letters, email, call, etc, and stay in touch with the people I care about. I'm definitely not great at it, and if I get even a little bit sad, I will retract into myself for awhile. And I love that the few girls I am close with understand this about me and can accept that. As far as others go, I never expect anything. I'll call or write a few times, and if I don't hear back, no big deal. The small group of friends I've cultivated get unconditional love from me, no matter what. It's comforting to know we do the best we can, and there's no games and shittiness and resentment. I'm not really sure where this post came from, but for some reason I've really been feeling very appreciative of life lately and reflecting on all of the people in it, now and then, near and far. I started thinking about all of these different friends and just started typing, not knowing where this was going...and this is what came out. I have to say, one advantage to blogging is being able to just empty out my entire head onto this computer screen and having the satisfaction of having it here to look back on. I love it. At the same time though, it is kind of unnerving to know every word I say is being perceived in different ways by different people. Oh, how I wish I could see myself from a different perspective. Wouldn't that be a gift?

So, do you have friends who live far away? How often do you talk to them? Have you ever "lost" a friend and then rekindled that friendship?

Happy Tuesday :).


  1. Morning, your post made me realize that it has been way too long since I've caught up with two different friends that are overseas. I've known Kay for 9 years and when she moved to the UK 4 years ago we tried phoning each other at least once a month and talk for 2-3 hours. In the last year it became less and less often and now it feels like effort to email one line to her....
    The other friend I've known since childhood and she moved with her fiance to New Zealand at the beginning of the year and haven't even heard from her in the last 3 months. It's true what you say about losing touch with people that aren't close to you on a daily basis. I think I will take the time to send them a "I love you" today.

  2. I moved to the South last year and all my good friends are in New England, but I've learned that friendships take effort, and with Skype, AIM, and phone calls, we make it work!