Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Clearing something up...

I wanted to make a quick post about a comment I received on my Formspring last night. Here's the message-

hi danielle,
I love love love your blog, and find you super inspirational and motivating! I just had one concern raised by your last q&a; namely, about the "family planning" method. I just feel like maybe it was a bit irresponsible to so vehemently reject the pill as a form of birth control and advocate a method that is somewhat unreliable (moreso if your partner isn't someone who you WANT to have babies with, eventually) when you know that your students are probably reading your blog, and certainly look up to you for advice/guidance. Yes, there are downsides to taking the pill, but there are also many, many benefits, and while you obviously aren't a school nurse or in any way responsible for what the kids choose to do outside of school, it just seemed like a bad judgment call to dismiss birth control entirely; someone might get the wrong idea!


First of all, thank you so much for the sweet words! Hearing those things always make my day. I find so much inspiration in the blog world, and it's amazing to know that someone finds me inspiring. So thank you! :) As far as your concern, I definitely understand where you're coming from. However, if you come to this site regularly, you know I am in a committed relationship. I really feel I should be able to be honest about things like this, and having taken birth control for so many years, it isn't for me. When I said it wasn't for me, I wasn't saying that every person who reads this should follow in my steps. There was no underlying meaning- it's not for me. And ME, is a 27-year old wife and hopefully soon to be Mom. Just like when I say I'm not religious, I'm not telling everyone to stop believing in God, or when I say I prefer to eat organic food I'm not advocating every reader to throw away food in their fridge that doesn't comply. Also, I definitely do NOT write for my students or with them in mind. This is my place AWAY from work and I certainly hope that students don't come here and read this. I do understand though, that this is a blog, and entirely public, so I am sure that is a possibility. But if they do, they need to take it for what it is- a personal blog with someone's personal views. With that said, I do realize that many people read this, and I know that leaves me with responsibility, but I don't think I need to preface anything I say with a warning of "don't try this at home." If that was the case I couldn't ever write freely. Regular readers know my situation and I don't feel like I should feel responsible for every reader's perception. In fact, it would be impossible to keep everyone in mind. I will definitely take your comment to heart though, because I know you said it simply because you were concerned with teens reading this and thinking that "family planning" is a good form of birth control. And to be clear- it's not! But in our situation it works for us. And again, that is what the focus of my blog is. Me, and us.


So with that said, thank you again so much for your input! I wanted to address this in case anyone else had the wrong idea. Continue to send me your comments on thoughts on everything- I love hearing your opinions and thoughts!
xoxo

19 comments:

  1. completely understandable. i think your answer is fair and reasonable and i think anyone who reads your blog should be able to understand where you're coming from.

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  2. people are so nosy, when it comes to god and birth control. Its like mind your own business, its not your life. you don't agree with whats written here, press "next blog" button.

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  3. I agree with everything you wrote. Birth control is totally personal. I tweeted you a link to my blog because I am dealing with something birth control related and since you are always so open, I decided to be too. :)

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  4. I think the way you wrote this was SO well written. And I just want to say I really love this blog.

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  5. i was very intrigued by that question, and immediately started googling and researching it. i feel the exact same way about the pill, and it was very refreshing to hear that i wasn't the only one! i hate you're getting negative feedback, especially when you obviously had reservations about even answering, but i just wanted to let you know that it DID help me and opened my eyes to what is possibly what i've been looking for! thank you!
    i also just wanted to throw in there that as many questions as you've been asked on "controversial" topics, you have always made it clear that it is purely YOUR view, it's not for everyone. you have never been imposing. kudos for that! keep up the honesty- it's really refreshing :)

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  6. Oh my gosh...yes, it's true you teach high school students who may be reading your blog but that doesn't mean you are restricted to only writing about "kid friendly" things. If it were, you'd be writing children's books. That is not the purpose of a blog! And, as a student who attended PHS a few years ago, nothing you wrote about gives me or would have given me any wrong ideas. A little common sense is all it takes to realize that where you are in life is very different from that of a high school student/someone who recently graduated.
    I don't think you should be writing for anyone but yourself! Also, I think your new method is a great idea! (As for me, I'm hoping the Marc Jacobs diaper bag is pulled from the closet soon :) )

    xo

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  7. there are also other forms of birth control such as condoms... and i believe it should be your free choice on what you put in your body danielle... this also a place for you to express yourself and how you feel on certain subject... you should not have to worry about your students or other people following what you say just because it is you who said them... so reguardless what you do with your body, husband, and life is yours to do... you are simply blogging the truth as you see it... tell em to f' off!!!!


    love your fully supportive sista brooke :)

    p.s. who cannot wait to be an auntie!!!!! no pressure though

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  8. i liked your answer danielle. i've always had the same thought on birth control as you. it is just so creepy and strange i think.

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  9. well said :] i'm glad that regardless of who might come across your blog, you still speak your mind and are open and honest. i'm also quite uneasy about hormonal birth control. i held off on taking the pill for as long as i could but eventually the endometriosis won out and i couldn't deal with that pain anymore. different things work for different people and hopefully your readers are smart enough to understand that you aren't writing an advice column.

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  10. i think you were so gracious in your answer.i have to admit i'd struggle to be quite as sweet with mine!
    i take the contraceptive pill,though i could maybe do with rethinking this method.i am wary of using medication as it is,due to my being against animal testing.which is why i am hoping to eventually wean myself off the antidepressants i take.until now,i didn't even think of the pill being a similar thing!i may ask the doctor about alternatives,so thank you for bringing this to my attention!i think it may be a little more complicated to switch to a different method of birth control,simply because i was prescribed 'the pill' to induce my periods (due to my eating disorder history!).but i am definitely going to enquire now i have thought on it.
    rather than some being negative about your views on your own birth control,i think you should be applauded (as you are being by your lovely blog followers!) for bringing the subject up.you and hank are obviously rock solid,and i'm sure you know exactly what you want in terms of birth control and pregnancy!
    and lastly,i think it would be an awful shame if you had to write your blog with your students in mind!teachers need to have a life outside of their job,as anybody in other professions would!it is not your responsibility to 'set an example' in everything you do.you do that all day in work,you shouldn't have to do it outside of work!
    i think you're awesome and an amazing example to all those who know you (whether on or offline!) xxx

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  11. i think you handled that swimmingly. i agree with you on the whole bc thing, i haven't been on it in about 6 years, but i am also in the same boat relationship and age wise as you too...soo i hope the ppl who read your blog realize everything is situational... :) good luck!

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  12. So very well-said. Sweet, honest and open and yet you stuck to your guns. I LOVE a woman with cahones :)

    Not gonna lie though, can't wait for the happy days when you're preggers!

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  13. I think you left such an honest elegant answer :)

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  14. I totally agree with your post. Everyone has to make the decision that is best for them, including any of your students that might read your blog. Writing a blog and expressing your feelings does not some how make you responsible for their actions. I really, really enjoy your blog and am disappointed that person wrote that to you. It's unfair.

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  15. This was very interesting for me to read! So glad I stumbled across your blog for the first time today. My husband is a high school English teacher as well. I used to teach college English. I've since started blogging and am wondering about going back into teaching and what that would mean if I had students again. On the one hand, you NEED your personal space (away from your students) to express your opinions. If you are a writer- personal and public are bound to get confused. I think blogging is brave- more so than people realize. Thanks for the thoughtful post.

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  16. thank you for sharing your thoughtful response. my husband (of 5 1/2 years) and i have been using the family planning method and while it's not foolproof it has been highly educational, encouraged us to remain totally transparent in our communication and put us both in a position of ultimate responsibility for our fertility. esp since i've had such a hard time with hormonal imbalances in my body . . . now that i am semi-regulated, i have no desire to mess with the balance by adding synthetic chemicals to my delicate system.

    again thanks for sharing your point of view and your choice. it's all we can do to live honestly and openly about our choices and to let others do the same with theirs.

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