Here we are...heading right towards the 6th month mark this week and we are so ready! We got back from San Diego Comic Con early this morning around 2am, and for the entire 6 hour ride home Hank and I talked and talked and talked about baby Henry and all of the upcoming life changes we'll be experiencing. It's the most romantic, amazing thing to see Hank so excited about welcoming our son into the world. I never had any doubts he would be excited, but to actually see the man you love, the father of your child, swooning the little baby in your belly, pondering all of the possible futures for him...that's enough to make me cry happy tears every single day. I can't wait to see Hank as a Dad. I know he's my husband so of course I think this, but to me, he is THE ideal man. He's kind and sensitive- but not a push over, open to sharing emotions and feelings, he makes me feel safe, he's a hard, hard worker but plays just as hard, he has a childlike heart, he's incredibly smart and so, so fun. To envision our children having HIM as a Dad, Henry having Hank to look up to as the father/man in his life...wow. What a lucky child. Now that we are zooming into the final few months of this pregnancy, it's starting to hit me that life is about to change in such an amazing way. I anticipate that this will be the hardest thing we will ever do, but also the most rewarding. Today we have approximately 115 days to go until our little guy gets here. Amazing!
I need to do a bit of real-talking here about this past week. I'd say that this week was probably the week where I finally felt pregnant, physically (and not in a good way!).
- I've definitely started in with some sciatic nerve pain. I started experiencing this last weekend and it's come and gone, with some days being excruciating at time and others feeling nothing. It's very uncomfortable and if it's a preview of what's to come I'm definitely dreading it a bit.
- Even though I work out everyday, I am still getting fat in strange places. I thought I would say this so other pregnant women know that even though I have been really good about staying active throughout this entire time, my body is doing what it wants to do, regardless! My back is a place I've noticed some weird back fat going on and also my thighs. Jeez Louise. I'm actually not bothered by this, but more so just really intrigued that no matter what I do, there is it! It's definitely a great exercise in surrender. :) I do my doctor-recommended squats every other day (using an exercise ball to support my back on the wall), and yet my upper legs don't look it. Like I said, it's all par for the course and I'm incredibly proud of myself for being in a place of acceptance, but it's so interesting to note that in pregnancy, my body is not really mine in a way.
- This week for some reason my skin went haywire! It's hard for me because for the most part I'm used to having skin I love, and throughout this pregnancy I've dealt with breakouts...but this week was the worst. Now it's clearing up a bit but it made me really depressed. When I'm already feeling a little "off" and not so good in my own skin, adding acne to the mix is just not a good thing at all. It's bizarre looking at myself in the mirror. I'm not sure if it's the hormones or if I actually look different, but NOTHING looks good- my hair, my face, clothing. It's almost laughable how cliche it is that I can plop myself on the bed and just cry and cry to Hank about how gross and unattractive I feel. It's funny because since I've been pregnant I swear Hank is somehow 10x MORE attracted to me, but I think that's the way it is for a lot of partners. I just don't feel very attractive. I tweeted about this last week, but I envy those women who feel glowing and beautiful throughout their pregnancy! I definitely have my days, but even those days are more like, "eh, you don't look TOO bad today." haha. I'm usually confident about my looks so it's a whole new world feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. But again, I do feel it's a huge exercise in surrender and personal growth, so in a weird way I welcome these hard times.
So other than those things, I'm just trucking along and getting ready to start a new school year in about two weeks. Mixed feelings about that, but I'm staying positive about it and I'm excited to see my teacher friends again for a bit. My next doctor's appointment is in a couple more weeks and I have a feeling that time will start to speed up a bit and before we know it, Henry will be here! We still have EVERYTHING to do. All we have are a million cute baby clothes but nothing else. My baby shower is going to be in October, and I figure after that we can do everything we need to do and hopefully (!!!) we will be in a house then.
This week, Baby H is the weight of a large mango (photo and info via babycenter.com) and has made some leaps and bounds in the development area.
Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound, you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb.
A couple of things I'm looking forward to in the next couple of months:
-baby CPR class
-baby massage class! We'll be taking one class before Henry arrives and then a second with him.
-birthing center tour
I'll be back later this evening with a pretty amazing (and quite generous) non-baby related giveaway from a good friend, so I will see you tonight.
(dress is vintage maternity, taken yesterday in our icky hotel room)