Saturday, December 4, 2010
It's been about 2 weeks since your birthday, and I've been thinking long and hard about how I could even begin to put into words how much joy you've brought into our lives in this short time. Your birth was challenging, yes, and I'm sure one day when you're older I will use that in a teasing way to give you a hard time...but I would go through that experience again and again, a million times over, for you. From the moment I heard you cry my life was changed. I feel like the person I was, and the person I am now are different somehow. It's hard to explain; it's hard to even verbalize what it feels like to have your life altered in an instant, to become someone new, someone better, in the blink of an eye. All I can say is: YOU ARE AMAZING. You are the most perfect little person I have ever met, and (I know this sounds wacky since you are in fact just 12 days old) I am certain that you are going to do something very special and wonderful in this world. You put out this calming, beautiful energy, and your Papa and I can't help but fall a little more in love with you every second of the day. You do the most adorable things- small cooing noises as you fall asleep, tiny smiles once you are asleep, and you even laugh out loud in the middle of dreaming. You're beautiful. Your Dad and I already had an amazing relationship, but since you've come along I feel like my love for him only grows and grows. He is an amazing Dad and loves taking care of you. He talks about your long legs and big hands and daydreams about you playing sports and skateboarding, and doing all sorts of father-son things. We both just sit and stare at you, your gorgeous little features and expressive face. It's hard to think about you growing up already- but as fast as these past two weeks have gone, I know that the rest of our lives will move in the same fashion. I desperately want to slow everything down. Pause. Rewind. Stop. I never want to forget the way you snuggle into my neck when you're tired, or the way you grip your Papa's hand with your tiny fingers. I want to always remember the noises you make, the smell of your hair, and the way you purse your lips after we kiss you. Every stage will come, and although that is so exciting, the stage we've left behind will never be lived again. So that's why when I'm tired, when I'm going on two hours of sleep, I take a moment and just love love love it, love it in all of it's wonderful beauty. This will only happen once, and I promise you I will never look too far into the future and miss the now. Every stage will come. And every stage will go. All we can do is be in the here and now. And let me tell you, my darling son, the here and now is a pretty amazing place to be, thanks to you.
I love you,