Saturday, December 18, 2010

Guest post from Jess/The Doe or the Deer!

Oh I am just so excited to feature one of my most favorite blogging ladies in the entire world (actually take out blogging- favorite ladies. period.). Many of you may already read Jess' blog, and if so I'm sure you are well-versed on her magical mix of wit, sarcasm, truth, and heart. We've been friends in this grand ole blogosphere for years now, and someday soon we are going to have a lady blogger meet up that is way overdue. When I asked Jess to do a little guest post while I was out with Henry, I knew she would bring something great to the table...something most likely funny, and definitely something that made you smile. So here she is, Jess of the Doe or the Deer!


First off, I just want to thank Danielle for asking me to guest post on Sometimes Sweet. I am beyond elated for the birth of Henry and I am currently waiting for “the text." I have to admit, I felt the pressure trying to come up with a clever little post. Danielle has such a loyal following, so I tried to keep the curse words and grammatical errors at a minimum… I’m sure Danielle was sweating bullets at the thought of “what the hell is Jess going to write about?!?” Well Danielle, look away and squeeze that baby out.

Nothing to see here.

My 5 Reasons to make babies:

-Get out of any awkward situation.

You all have been there. Perhaps at a party, a certain someone shows up, but you don’t want to be rude to the host. Welp, now you have a good reason. “Oh I am so sorry! Little Zoe is not feeling good. I need to go home… Now.” The best part is that you can leave and still not go home. Go to Starbucks, go to Target, hell, go to a movie!

-Having a fat day, at least your kid is cute.

Some days I am just not feeling too cute. But nothing makes you feel prettier than sporting your best "accessory"… Your kid. You may be in your sweats at the grocery store, but do you think anyone notices that when you got a chubby cherub, cheerfully chirping in your cart? (How’s that for alliteration?) Nope. Its like an invisible cloak of cuteness.

-Running late? Blame the kids.

Kids do make you run late. The equation is usually for each child you have, you run 1 hour late. I have 2, so I run 2 hours late. I’m a mathematician’s daughter, obviously. But, what if you are running really, really late? And it’s YOUR fault. You can blame it on a poop explosion, vomit, lost their favorite Sophie Giraffe. The possibilities are endless.

-Now you have an excuse for eating those sugary Lucky Charms.

I know we all say, “oh my child will NEVER eat anything but organic… yaddi-ya-ya..” Well I live on planet Reality and kids like the “good stuff”. Cereals, pop-tarts and cookies just happen. Don’t blame yourself, unless you are that lady on Maury with the 200 pound toddler, then yes, blame yourself. Look on the bright side, now you have sweet treats for yourself at any P.M.S.ing moment. No late night trips to the drugstore to satisfy you desires. You‘re welcome.

-Halloween. Candy is up for grabs.

What’s yours is mine. Why? Cause I’m Mom and I say so. Feels so good rolling off the tongue, doesn’t it?

31 comments:

  1. I was smiling & giggling throughout this whole post! Jess is awesome! I love her reasons to make babies! :)

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  2. I've literally needed all of these reasons within the last couple of months! Oh, the inspiration ;)

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  3. Great post. My babies are oled now, so what are my excuses?

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  4. such a great post and as a mama, i agree with them all :0

    Zoe

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  5. i have two children myself, and have found myself thinking the exact things that she wrote about. and as i type this i am helping myself to some chocolate marshmallow cereal that my 3 year old just HAD to have.

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  6. Oh my, you have just made me smile so much! Thanks for being 'real' about having kids! I will be sharing this link with all my other mummy friends!

    xxx

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  7. Hilarious!

    Excuse me, I'm off to make a baby so I have another excuse to be an hour late..

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  8. This is equally adorable and hilarious.

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  9. god, jess is so right about the kid accessory.

    AWESOME.

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  10. I am so in love with your costumes... So in love!!!!

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  11. I love this post! So honest and true!! Thanks for sharing!!

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  12. Jess I <3 you. Danielle I <3 you too! Such a perfect post. :)))
    and.....her reasons, so true!

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  13. HAHA. I LOVE THIS. Especially the first one about getting out of awkward situations because I do that A LOT! "oh well, Little One needs to nap so can't stay long." ;)

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  14. hahaha, this was great.

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  15. I frickin' love Jess and this post is hilarious!

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  16. Haaaaa! Great guest post - well done, Jess!

    Oh, and reason number 5? TRUTH. I use that one to my advantage on the reg.

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  17. Oh gosh, I love Jessica. Fantastic guest post!

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  18. She is fantastic; very real and witty.

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  19. Great post! I definitely use my son to get out of awkward situations and steal his halloween candy...I'm sparing his little teeth, right :)

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  20. Best post I've seen in the LONGEST time!!!

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  21. hilarious! and all of it is absolutely true! <3

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  22. love this she is so beautiful and her kids are ADORABLE what great photographs! priceless!

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  23. I'm absolutely going to offer my husband the sweet reasons we should have a baby. The way to a man's swimmers is obviously through his stomach.

    Weird.

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  24. oh golly I am so clucky right now - this post doesn't help ;)

    thanks! (no thanks!?)

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