First off, I just want to thank Danielle for asking me to guest post on Sometimes Sweet. I am beyond elated for the birth of Henry and I am currently waiting for “the text." I have to admit, I felt the pressure trying to come up with a clever little post. Danielle has such a loyal following, so I tried to keep the curse words and grammatical errors at a minimum… I’m sure Danielle was sweating bullets at the thought of “what the hell is Jess going to write about?!?” Well Danielle, look away and squeeze that baby out.
Nothing to see here.
My 5 Reasons to make babies:
-Get out of any awkward situation.
You all have been there. Perhaps at a party, a certain someone shows up, but you don’t want to be rude to the host. Welp, now you have a good reason. “Oh I am so sorry! Little Zoe is not feeling good. I need to go home… Now.” The best part is that you can leave and still not go home. Go to Starbucks, go to Target, hell, go to a movie!
-Having a fat day, at least your kid is cute.
Some days I am just not feeling too cute. But nothing makes you feel prettier than sporting your best "accessory"… Your kid. You may be in your sweats at the grocery store, but do you think anyone notices that when you got a chubby cherub, cheerfully chirping in your cart? (How’s that for alliteration?) Nope. Its like an invisible cloak of cuteness.
-Running late? Blame the kids.
Kids do make you run late. The equation is usually for each child you have, you run 1 hour late. I have 2, so I run 2 hours late. I’m a mathematician’s daughter, obviously. But, what if you are running really, really late? And it’s YOUR fault. You can blame it on a poop explosion, vomit, lost their favorite Sophie Giraffe. The possibilities are endless.
-Now you have an excuse for eating those sugary Lucky Charms.
I know we all say, “oh my child will NEVER eat anything but organic… yaddi-ya-ya..” Well I live on planet Reality and kids like the “good stuff”. Cereals, pop-tarts and cookies just happen. Don’t blame yourself, unless you are that lady on Maury with the 200 pound toddler, then yes, blame yourself. Look on the bright side, now you have sweet treats for yourself at any P.M.S.ing moment. No late night trips to the drugstore to satisfy you desires. You‘re welcome.
-Halloween. Candy is up for grabs.
What’s yours is mine. Why? Cause I’m Mom and I say so. Feels so good rolling off the tongue, doesn’t it?