Sunday, May 22, 2011

8 weeks to a better me: Week 4/Loving Yourself

 http://sometimessweet.blogspot.com/2011/05/8-weeks-to-better-me-week-one.html

Welcome to week four of this fun little project, and the halfway point!  This marks the fourth week of setting small goals and hopefully achieving them!  This next Saturday I'll be posting a mid-point checkup to go over my successes (and non-successes), and talk a bit about how I've done with my goals, which is pretty great so far!  And this week I am BEYOND excited to have a sweet friend of mine posting here. When I thought about this topic, Kaelah is the first person who popped into my head. I adore this woman with a fierceness, and I absolutely love her zest for life. To me, she epitomizes self-confidence and I really enjoy how she encourages others to find that same confidence. I knew she'd be perfect for this week, and I was overjoyed when she agreed. If you don't already read Kaelah's blog, be sure to head over her way- she's a daily read of mine and one of my favorite people in this whole, wide blogging world. Thank you again, Kaelah! So much love.


Hey y'all! I'm Kaelah Bee and I write a little life + style blog called Little Chief Honeybee where I feature daily outfits, adventures, and a life practiced with positivity with my two sweet bulldogs and fiance, Mike! 

When Danielle contacted me about writing this guest post I was overjoyed and very very flattered. She expressed an interest in having me write about the topic of "loving yourself" and I knew it was a match made in heaven! I think we all struggle with appreciating ourselves for who we are. Whether we feel too big, too small, too pale or any other combination of "less than desirable" traits, we're being blind to our true potential. I've struggled with this myself for a long time. Being a tomboy turned girly girl, 14 years of softball doesn't normally bode well in a dainty dress. I've got calf muscles that would rival those of a professional rugby player! But then I realized that it's all about perspective! While I may have giant calves and a hard time finding fabulous boots come Autumn, I also have some insanely strong legs! They help me run fast, jump high, and lift things that a 5'2" gal wouldn't be expected to lift. They may be masculine, but they're mine! 

Sure, my hips are.. well… big, but I got them honestly! My mom is a tiny woman but boy she's got some hips! She's always told me those are "childbearing hips" and I should be proud to have them! It may have taken me 20-something years, but I finally am proud. They make me feel womanly and I know they'll be put to good use come time for my own little honeybees! 

Blogging has really opened my eyes to all the different sizes and shapes of people. There are so many life + style bloggers out there who share their outfits and inspire me on the daily. But every single body type is different. It's so refreshing! I don't feel like I have to be a stick-thin model type to share my outfits online. I'm greeted with some of the most uplifting comments ever! Women who wish to have my curves or confidence, etc. It's a true testament to everything we think merely being perspective. I may see those curves as sometimes overpowering or a downright curse, but there's a woman out there with a totally different body type who wishes she had them. Instead of constantly looking at others and being envious of what they have, we need to be proud of what we have ourselves!  When you're brave enough to be proud of who you are and what you look like, you immediately give someone else the courage to do the same. It's a snowball effect. We need to take back the reigns on body image. The media only has a negative effect on our psyche because we allow it to. We allow fashion magazines to make us feel inferior. Instead, let's stand up and say "NO! Not today! Today I'm going to love those hips, curves, jiggly bits and I might even remain indifferent about my cellulite!" 

I truly think everything in our lives stems from our attitude. When you make the conscious effort to change how you look at things and how you react, everything else changes, too. I won't lie and say that changing all of this can happen overnight. It's a matter of willpower and perseverance. Even years after my initial "Ah-Hah!" moment, I still have to work at it. I made the decision to stop hating my body… it's been hard, but it's been the best decision I've ever made!

Phew! Okay! Well how about some ~tricks and tips for banishing that bad attitude toward yourself?

1. Find something that makes you feel good!
Use it as your guide when you're feeling down in the dumps or in need of a little pick me up! I found my inspiration in a less-than-likely place… a poem called Desiderata (link: http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm) by Max Erhman. Something about this poem makes me feel alive. No matter if I'm feeling blue about my future, blogging, my relationships, or my body, it picks me up. It reminds me about what's important, and what's not. The line that is especially significant is "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for there will aways be greater and lesser persons than yourself." Rather than being envious or jealous of others, we should focus on what's great within ourselves. Someone out there wishes to have what you do, you just may not know it! If you're moved by quotes or lyrics, print them out and hang them around your house! Hang them in places that you'll see every single day! Make positive affirmations your morning routine (and share them! You'll be amazed at how good it makes you feel to share the optimism!).

2. For every negative thought you think about yourself, think a positive one!
Look in the mirror and find yourself frustrated with the way your hair kinks or that little bit of extra "love" in your love handles? Instead of cursing it, think about the person out there who wishes they had hair. Or think about how great it feels to run your fingers through it when it's freshly conditioned (that's my favorite! And practically the only time I can run my fingers through my mop!). And those love handles? To your special someone, that might be their most favorite part of your body. Someone loves it… even if you don't!

3. Dress up just because!
There's no denying that getting dolled up makes us feel good. Even if we have no plans to leave the house. I find myself to be the most productive when I get up, get dressed, and face the day with a fresh outfit. Yeah, I work from home. So what! Even when the only sunlight I see is when walking to the mailbox, if I'm dressed my best then I feel like a million bucks. Instead of waiting for a reason to get dressed up, just do it! Put on your favorite dress or your favorite blouse and take note on how it makes you feel! You don't need an occasion… You are the occasion! 

4. Take inventory of your closet!
Try everything on… if it doesn't fit, throw it out. Better yet -- if it doesn't make you feel like a superstar, get rid of it! We have all of the signs and people who spend billions of dollars every year to make us feel insignificant and "in need" of something to make us whole. Don't let that get to you! Don't subject yourself to the torture of trying on a piece of clothing that makes you feel like crap. Just toss it all together! Instead, curate a closet full of items that make you feel like you're a movie star. Remember that you are worthy of all this! You are worthy of feeling good! 

I feel like I've written a novel, I apologize! I'm just so passionate about taking back the confidence that is rightfully ours! When in doubt, just remember what Eleanor Roosevelt always said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Guess what? That means yourself, too!

 
1. Silence that negative inner voice in my mind. I've been a little hard on myself lately, and I've noticed I've been trying to live up to some unrealistic expectation I've set in my mind of how I should look. I plan on taking Kaelah's advice and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

2. Get my "Shop my Closet" pop up blog up and running. Out with the old, in with the new...and "new" meaning things that fit my new, post-baby bod well and make me feel confident.

3. Wear a tank top to the gym. Now, I know this sounds like a super weird goal, but I have been unusually feeling really annoyed with the stares about my tattoos while there. I workout best when my arms are free and I'm SO annoyed with myself that I've allowed these one or two rude people to make me feel unsure of myself in such a way. It's almost embarrassing! So, I'm just going to ignore the snooty women who like to whisper within earshot and point (yes that happened the other day) and just get on with my life and love me for me...like I usually do! :)

How about you? I'm trying out inlinkz for the first time, and hopefully this will be an easier and more visible way to share our goals!

36 comments:

  1. Don't let those snooty women get to you!

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  2. Such a wonderful post, pretty Kaelah. <3

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  3. All the best with your goals this week! Your tattoos are beautiful; nevermind those small-minded people.

    :)

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  4. I love Kaelah's blog - it's one of my regular reads! I'm really going to have to think about this one, though - I've got pretty sturdy self-esteem but I don't really think about how I go about maintaining that...

    (P.S. There's a typo in your third goal which, given the context - and my toilet humour - made me smile. Those snooty women aren't worth worrying about; if the only way they can feel good about themselves is to bitch about other people, they can't have much of a life)

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  5. great words Kaelah... I have a copy of the Desiderata printed out and pinned up by my dressing table so I can see it everyday :D

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  8. Kaelah is such an inspiration. What a great topic too!

    Screw those people at the gym, Danielle. Show off your gorgeous tattoos!!

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  9. You have over 3000 readers of your blog that adore you for just being you.I bet all 3000 readers love your tattoos (i do) and most of us admire you for it. So next time you got to the gym in your singlet know that me and probally the other 2999 are standing behing you supporting you against those snooty woman!!
    Shan

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  10. Oh man, I really connected with this one so I think this may be the one week I do this (and maybe later weeks too!).

    As for the women in the gym, my guess is they're probably whispering "Oh darling, don't that girl's tattoos rock your socks? If only I wasn't such an uptight B maybe I could have the courage to show my true self through body art. Alas we're standing here in the gym instead of doing any real workout [real pet peeve of mine in the gym] and exposing how lame we really are." Just a guess :)

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  11. I can't tell you how much I love this post. I think every single woman out there can relate. Thanks for posting it, I needed this!!

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  12. I love this one! So inspiring!

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  13. Good for you! I have found that negative self-talk is the worst attribute a person can heave. If you're constantly telling yourself you're not good enough or you're not pretty enough, of course it's going to put you in a bad mood. And it will show on the outside.

    It has taken me awhile but I finally learned to recognize when I'm talking negatively to myself and I can stop it AND reverse it, which is the most important.

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  14. I love this one! Just what I needed to hear today :)

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  15. Love this. Haven't made time to participate in this feature yet, but now I HAVE to! Thank you Kaelah and Dani for the inspiration!

    Going to write my post now...

    xo,

    Sarah

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  16. You have a beautiful body - and you've decorated with living art! Don't let those ladies get to you. I think your art is beautiful :) xx

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  17. I just wanted to let you know that I think you are really inspirational♥

    You have courage and strength and use it to help others through your words on this blog : )

    I'm excited to read more...

    xoxo

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  18. I adore this post. Sometimes it's so difficult to hush that inner negativity, especially when you have people out there who can so easily bring you down. I'm going to follow these steps and work hard to banish that negative energy!

    Danielle - I know it's hard to deal with the rude people who do nothing but stare. I have one tattoo on my wrist and sometimes people make me uncomfortable about it. But, those tattoos are part of you...you shouldn't be afraid to show them off!

    xo, Allie.

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  19. It has already been said, but I echo it: don't let anyone else and their rudeness/narrow mindedness get to you. Rock what you've got proudly. : )

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  20. This is such an inspiring post! Thank you so much for sharing, Kaelah. You're a doll and such a great role model! xo.

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  21. great post ! snotty women can suck it x

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  22. I think this is my favorite post of the series! Wonderful advice. I'm adjusting to the post-baby body, and a good deal of my clothing sits untouched. I like the "superstar" standard for clothing. :)

    Oh, and Kaelah -- you are gorgeous! :)

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  23. This is SO inspiring! Love it. <3

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  24. i think this is my favorite of all your 8 weeks posts! and i love kaelah and her blog so i was so excited to her featured!

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  25. beautiful post..very inspiring. you don't realize it but reading or seeing something inspiring every week really inspires you to be confident and set and commit to goals. Thanks for sharing! love this series!

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  26. Kaelah is so inspiring! I love the new way to link up too! =]

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  27. Ah, Danielle, I can't imagine what makes people so rude. You are a GORGEOUS woman and even through our "online friendship" can tell you are the sweetest! Rock that tank top, lady!! <3

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  28. Whoops! P.S. I really love what Kaelah has to say! I look forward to checking out her blog! Another great feature. :)

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  29. wow, what an amazing an inspiring post. i'm so glad i took the time to really read it. it just about made me cry. i've finally become confident with my "larger" self. i'm proud to be a full figured woman and I can totally relate to this post. thank you so much <3

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  30. What a wonderful post! It's given me lots to think about this week. Thank you. And I love your goals for yourself too!

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  31. Yay! Kaelah + Danielle = post heaven! You are both such inspiring, beautiful, strong women! I hope you rock the tank top at the gym soon, and that you flash those bitches the sweetest smile when they're eyeing you down. LOVE IT <3

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  32. Oh, what a cool concept. I may just have to join you in weeks 5-8 so I can link up, and then back track and do the first half :D

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  33. I'll be honest, I've been meaning to join back up with the gym near my house but have been deterred by the constant barrage of people trying to talk to me because of my tattoos. They gym is the last place I want to talk to people! Glad I'm not the only one. Wearing tank tops takes a lot of confidence for me too, haha.

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  34. Thank you so much for this. I've always been extremely hard on myself, and I've gotten to the point where I can't even look in the mirror without picking myself apart. Even though it seems I'm trying to take positive steps, it's been really hard for me. This post opened up my eyes quite a bit.

    Thank you! and wear that tanktop! tattoos are beautiful, and the ladies that point are just insecure. Be proud! <3

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  35. hi - thanks for the inspiration! i love the idea about not waiting for a big occassion to dress up. feeling nice on the outside does make the difference!

    i've only just got around to posting my goals, they are here. http://unremarkablegirl.blogspot.com/2011/06/3-unremarkable-self-lovey-goals.html

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