Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Guest Post: Lindsay from Eileen Josephine


Hi everybody! My name is Lindsay Széchényi and I blog about my family, home, quilting, crafty projects and everyday life over at EileenJosephine.com. Stop by and say hello! This is my first guest-blogging gig, and what a treat it is to be over on Sometimes Sweet, one of my favorite corners of the internet :)

Since I have this opportunity to guest-post on a top mommy blog, I thought I would use it to get a little input on something that's been on my mind for a while now... more babies? I know that Danielle definitely plans on having another little one down the road, but I am considering keeping our family at three.

When I got pregnant, I really wanted a daughter. Now I feel like I have everything I need. My heart and my life feel full.

But... my husband wants another one. Also, I don't know how it feels to be an only child. I have a brother and a sister who I totally love and can't imagine my life without them. Would it be selfish of me to deny Greg another child or Vada a sibling?


Probably the biggest factor in all of this though, is that honestly, I'm scared. Pregnancy wasn't fun for me and Vada was a really difficult infant. (I think she cried at least 85% of her first year of life.) I had some postpartum depression issues that I never accepted or treated. My husband works really long hours most of the time and isn't available to help out with the late nights, etc. We don't have a lot of family around, so our "support system" is a little lacking. Etc., etc....

I don't know, it's almost like... I know I can handle one. I've come this far and I'm doing it. What we have right now is so good. But if we do decide to keep it at one, will we be missing out on something absolutely wonderful?


So let's talk! Are you an only child? Do you have a single child family or are you considering having just one? Are you definitely planning on having more?

I would love your input/experiences/advice/opinions!

<3 Lindsay

56 comments:

  1. My wife and I have three girls and are absolutely in love with having more than one. She originally didn't want to have any at all and wanted to stop at one but things happened and we had another and another. Definitely wouldn't change anything at all.

    Eric from http://lifeinafathead.wordpress.com/

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  2. in my experience, two has been easy as pie! i already went through the hard life-changing and hormonal 'becoming a mom' part with my first, so it wasn't nearly as much of a curve ball with my second. my two girls are everything and i hope to have more... i guess i just wanted to say, you've done it once, you can do it again!

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  3. I am currently pregnant with number two because I wanted my first daughter to have a sibling, and honestly, a lot of the time I feel like I have everything I need in Cecilia and would be OK with just her. I am glad we took the leap and are expecting number two now, but afterwards I am ready to enjoy our family of 4 and get going with living.

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  4. I am pregnant with my first and I honestly don't know what I am going to do after that. There are so many factors that play into deciding whether or not to have a second child! I must say though, that I am leaning towards having a second because I grew up with 3 sisters and a brother and even though sometimes they are a pain, they are my best friends. My husband has 4 siblings as well and it is the same for him. I don't want to deny my first child that experience. One of my coworkers always told me that it is important to have atleast two kids also because when you get older and they need to take care of you, they can share the burden as opposed to being on their own taking care of their elderly parents! Good luck in your decision!

    Kayleigh from http://babyandthehounds.blogspot.com/

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  5. After my emergency hysterectomy I was so set to not let my daughter be an only child that we became foster parents. We have now added a beautiful little girl to our family and can't wait for more. I will say, going from 1 to 2 was the hardest. But going from 2 to 3 was nothing.

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  6. I'm currently pregnant with my second one. Both kids were "surprises". W/the first, the delivery it was really rough. We planned on giving my body a break, and 6 months later, surprise number 2 was made. I cried. It took a long time for me to get used to the idea of 2 under 2.

    My husband just finished university, so I was dealing with the first baby mostly alone, and it was tough. We live far away from family, and so I'm going it alone again with 2 small ones.

    Babies are all so different, same with pregnancies. I had a good pregnancy the firs time, and now have a high risk complicated one with this one. Sadie is a good baby, so I'm so terrified that this second one is going to be difficult.

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  7. I think if the question is lingering in your head, you should go for it! I wanted to have 3 children originally but after the most difficult labour ever I was sure I wasn't going to have another after my daughter. But it was always on my mind and my husband really want to try for a boy (of course!) and I couldn't be happier we decided to do it again. Our little family feels so complete now. I couldn't picture life any other way.

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  8. First of all I must say your daughter is beautiful!
    I think this question is really interesting and I kind of have a perspective from both sides.

    I was an only child for 7 years before my sister came around. People say that only children are lonely but I wouldn't say that. I had friends I played with and I had a huge imagination because when I was on my own I had to entertain myself. When my sister came along I helped care for her and raise her and that taught me a lot of responsibility as well and shaped me into who I am today. I would say don't worry about the affect it will have on her as much because if she is raised by people who care for her and love her she won't be missing anything. I guess just do what feels right. I hope this helps, having a couple different perspectives on it. Feel free to stop by my little blog if you are interested!

    XXXX
    -Morgan (Born of the Sea)
    Born of the Sea

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  9. I can definitely relate to this. I have 3 siblings whom I adore and always imagined myself having at least 2, maybe 3 kids. I had a super-easy pregnancy, was delighted to be having a daughter, and then bam. Complicated labor and delivery, an incredibly difficult baby (she's 7 months old and getting better, but whoa), ppd ... yeah, I don't think I can do this again. If baby #2 were more difficult? Or if baby #2 were actually #2 and 3 (twins!)? Oy. We're not entirely ruling it out, but I will be super surprised if I ever decide to have another baby. I know some very lovely adults who were only children, so I'm not concerned about that. Now I'm going to read your blog to see if you have good tips for dealing with a challenging baby. I'm beyond tired of hearing about my friends' easy babies who sleep everywhere and just coo and smile all day.

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  10. At first, I knew that I wanted more than one, because I wanted my kids to have a sibling... but then when we had our 2nd, I thought that was it! It was so hard to adjust with 2 (at first) and I thought I was in over my head. My husband and I both agreed that 2 was IT. Now that my daughter is 1, and I began saying goodbye to the baby stage for good, I started thinking that it wasn't quite complete... and now I am expecting my third! We're both excited, and know that this was meant to be.
    I have both my parents and my inlaws in my town, and now my SIL too, so my support system is huge, and I couldn't do it without them. I have a close friend who also has a baby, and she's a big support to me as well. All in all, I think 2 kids is so great, and easier on you in the long run when they can play together, and keep eachother occupied, instead of always needing *your* time, all the time.
    Good luck with your deciding! xo

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  11. I can't really comment as a mom...that's not really working out for us just yet. But I can comment as a sibling! I have a brother and sister, and 3 step brothers and a step sister. That's a lot of siblings. I am not necessarily recommending it but one or two is nice. I will say that growing up, while we may have had a few fights here and there, we entertained each other for hours giving my mom a lot of free time. Because we had each other, our lives didn't revolve around our parents which I think was a good thing!

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  12. I am an only child. I grew up around a ton of cousins and one of them is like my sister, so I'm not sure I had the true only child experience. I will say that I had a lot more opportunities financially than I would have if I had a sibling. I was able to go to college, study abroad, travel the USA before settling back into Oklahoma to begin my career.

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  13. My daughter is an only child - I've had my tubes tied. We knew one was all we could handle! Lol! I don't know what it's like to be an only child because I am the oldest of five. There are things I love about being one of five and there are things I hate. So it's hard to know either way but if you don't know for sure you want or can handle another one don't! Dad's are quick to say another one (well, except my hubby!) because they don't do 90% of the work! And I HATED being pregnant, misery!!!

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  14. This is exactly the same problem as my mum had. I was almost three, she was far away from home from any family. Her marriage was terrible and my dad was completely unsupportive as a parent (they got divorced when I was 6, unsurprisingly!)

    But my mum decided to crack on and give me a sibling- a little sister. It was a struggle because I was a moany toddler during the day and then my sister didn't sleep a full night until she was five.

    However, I know my mum wouldn't change a thing. My sister and I are chalk and cheese but we are best friends. I don't know what I would do without her. I think having a sibling teaches you so much about getting on with other people.
    Sorry this was so long!

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  15. I'm not a mother, but I am an only child, and like a previous poster said, it is really not that bad. There were very few times where I felt like I wanted a sibling. I was a good kid who had a fantastic imagination (with the added bonus that I never had the urge to destroy my toys, either. I feel like multiple kids are sometimes more destructive). I spent a lot of time with cousins and friends. My feelings are: you need to do what is right for you. A kid can grow up completely well adjusted (and ok maybe a little eccentric) without a sibling, so don't worry about that part. Do you want to be pregnant and go through another birth? (You don't have to if you don't want to!)

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  16. I am an only child and I never wanted a sibling as a child. It's not that I actively didn't want one, but that it never occurred to me. To this day,. I have a fabulous, super-close relationship with my parents--closer than anyone else I know. I often think that's because it was just us.

    That said, we just had baby #2. While the rest of my awesome family is in Southern California, we are in Colorado. in stead of seeing the entire family almost daily, we see them a few times a year. Because I'm in academia, it'll probably stay that way; I don't see landing a job there in the future. So, I'm building my own family--trying to replicate what I dearly miss. And, though Eames is a really difficult two year old, the baby is amazing and, so far, it's been as easy as it's been delightful.

    Much like having a baby changed my view of my partner, seeing him so gentle and loving with this little person we made, seeing Eames with his little brother has made me see him in a new light. He has the roughness of a preschooler with the gentlest of hearts. he can't walk by his brother without stopping to kiss him. And there's nothing like watching him whisper to Dashiell while he strokes and kisses the his feet. So incredibly sweet. Who knew such a little person was capable of so much love?

    So, I can see it from both sides and I think only children are wonderful and big families are joyous and ultimately any family will enrich your life.

    --dalyn
    http://veganbreeders.wordpress.com

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  17. I am an only child and for most of my life I didn't feel like being the only one was a huge deal. There were times it was annoying, sure. I wished I had a sibling to blame things on, definitely. But in the end I just just wished I had a sibling to share with, to play with, and just to be with. As an adult now, its harder for me not to have any siblings. I see all these brothers and sisters able to get together and laugh together about growing up together. I just get sad. I know I will never be an aunt and when my parents get old, I am on my own in all the decisions. Even if maybe you decided to adopt or be foster parents...but either way I know I still wish I had a sibling.

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  18. Your daughter is so beautiful!
    As I do not have children I feel that I do not have much expertise on this topic however I think you should go with what is in your heart. Children are a huge deal and if you do not feel like two is for you then I say stick with your one wonderful baby girl.
    However on the other hand I have heard from many mamas that no two pregnancies or children are alike so if you decide one day to have another, he/she may be easy. Also you now know what raising a little one is all about so that fact alone will make number two a lot less difficult.
    best wishes!

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  19. Thank you SO MUCH for posting this! My son is 5, and I always assumed by now that we'd have at least one more child. However, my life is feeling very complete at the moment; do I really want to mess with the absolute joy I have each day with my husband and son?? I certainly think fear is a part of it - the unknown, and for me, going back to such a little one after all these years.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this.

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  20. We have 2 children (6 and 3 years old) and I've debated over the last 2 years whether or not to have another one. Part of me wants another and yet part of me wants to be done. I also have difficult pregnancies (nauseous 24/7 for 10 months) and both kids were difficult infants too. My husband also works long hours and so I can totally see where you are coming from. Although it is difficult at first adjusting to a second baby, I'm so glad we did. It's nice for them to be able to play together. It frees up a little time for me:)

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  21. Thank you for this. We are having problems conceiving a second, which is particularly hard because every month I have to remake the decision about whether I want another baby, and I'm never sure!

    I know I don't want fertility treatments, but I'm so confused about when to "give up." I love my family of three, but is it unfair to them to stop trying for another baby?

    Carla from http://igottawalkasec.blogspot.com

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  22. I am an only child, and if you're thinking about adding another, I really would. When I was younger I had a ton of cousins and lots of neighbors to play with. But as I got older, and on vacations with just my parents, you start to realize how much you're missing out on. As an adult with a daughter, I so badly wish she had aunts and uncles on my side of the family. Seeing my husband and his brother/best-friend makes me happy and sad at the same time. I always wanted siblings. But please do what is best for YOU and your family! Thanks for sharing <3

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  23. I'm an only child and I didn't love it so much, to be honest but that had everything to do with how my parents raised me!

    We have a daughter and I'd love for her to have a sister. We're still not 100% certain that we will have another. She's almost a year and a half and we prob won't decide for at least another year. :)

    It's a tough decision to make! Your little one is precious!

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  24. I'm the mommy of an only and I absolutely love it. I feel like I've been able to devote so much more time and resources to her. I have to admit, I don't know if I would have been a good mom to more than one.
    My fear is kind of the opposite of yours. Maya was such a good baby, toddler and child that I know I wouldn't get so lucky a second time.

    I grew up with a brother, and it was awesome, but I don't think that being an only has been detrimental to Maya at all. She's always had friends over. One great thing is that she has absolutely no problem being by herself. Soemtimes we actually have to remind her that she can have friends over in the summer.

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  25. Not much advice but wanted to say that I can totally relate to this. I love the three part family dynamic that's going on right now with my husband (to be) and my son but seeing as I was always told I couldn't have children, there is a part of me that feels I am cheating myself by leaving it with one. The husband has wild hopes of 4 or 5 so things could get real crazy around here. Good luck with whatever decision you make!

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  26. Lindsay, I think about your questions all the time. I'm an only child, and I have to admit that I was a little lonely. I had lots of friends and activities, but looking back, I spent a lot of time watching TV or playing by myself. I wasn't particularly close to my parents--but you seem like you're very close with your girl, so maybe this won't be an issue. It's mostly now as an adult that I look back and long for a sibling, especially when I see my husband and his brothers reminiscing, and the way they share their lives. I don't have anyone that the same family experience as I did, and it does make me feel lonely sometimes. Right now, our daughter is 6 months old, and I do wonder how I will ever love or need another child in the whole world--she is so wonderful and I'm so fulfilled. Despite everyone I know having more than 1 kid, I still worry about my already tight schedule, my limited finances, our limited home space, having another difficult pregnancy and delivery, and so much of the same things you wonder/worry about. You are not the only one to think about these things! I figure that I'll know when I'm ready, or when WE are ready. There's never a perfect time to have any child, just a time when you feel like you could handle it.

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  27. Your daughter is beautiful!
    I have been having the same thoughts and questions lately. My daughter is three and half, I am a teacher, and my husband works crazy hours as a restaurant manager. I do a lot of solo parenting because of my husband’s job. We have to pay for childcare. We don’t have a lot of family close. Our daughter is very strong-willed and can be quite the challenge. Most days I feel like my plate is heaping and I can’t even image adding a baby to the mix. I am very content with our little family (and tight budget.) That said I have saved almost all of our baby stuff so maybe someday we will have another one. For now we are sticking with one and will revisit the thought again in a year or two or three…

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  28. My older sister was a difficult baby and my Dad worked third shift, so the bulk of the child-rearing was on my mother. She told me of a time when she was feeding my sister while pregnant with me, and she was feeling completely overwhelmed and not sure how she could deal with two of my sister. Then I was born and I was a content baby (only crying when hungry or needing a diaper change, very easy to console.) She mentions how having me around also caused my sister chill out, because now she had someone to keep her occupied/entertained as well. My mom said that the only real issue she had was my sister constantly trying to hold me/pick me up.
    :)

    Our family felt complete, and was for many years. Now my sister is 26, I'm 24, and my brother is 19. Things happened within our extended family that opened my parents' home up for one more who is significantly younger than us- a five year old little lady. This was an adjustment- my father having to relearn patience, my mother having to balance motherhood with work, and the rest of us learning how to "play" again. But, now, I couldn't see our family any other way. What on earth would we do without sidewalk chalk artwork, dolls, and the constant singing of this bright little girl?

    Life gives us the most unexpected, and curious things, but they always seem to fit together-even if we are unable to see how.

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  29. Lindsay, I think whatever you and your husband decide on is the right plan for you! I grew up as an only child and I wouldn't ask for anything else. My parents were always there for me and they encouraged me to do whatever it was that my heart desired. I was in a lot activities and spent a large amount of time with friends and never felt lonely so don't feel like I missed out on anything. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents and it is because I was their one and only. You need to follow your heart!

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  30. I am a stay at home momma of 2! My daughter is 27 months and my son is 2 months. I won't lie it is tough! We are still trying to find a rhythm to things though, so I know it will get easier. Also all the love and wonderful new experiences I am having with two little ones makes it all worth it. My daughter Mazzy loves her baby brother and I know their bond will grow stronger as they both get older. I had my brother growing up and I can't imagine not having him and being an only child so that helped our decision to have another baby. I think we are done though :)

    Shannon

    ilovemazzyandzephyr.blogspot.com

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  31. Personally, right now I only want one child. I go through peeks and valleys though (sometimes I want 8 kids and sometimes I want none). My reason for only wanting one is mostly financial. I want my child to have everything he/she wants, and I also want everything.

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  32. I have a brother who's 13 years older than I am, but because of the age gap I never had that "fun" sibling experience. The two of us are really close considering, but my best friend has 4 siblings and I was always so jealous and craved the busy, fun house that she got to grow up in. I know it wasn't easy for her- and I'm not saying go and have 5 kids- but I would have loved to have a sister or a brother closer to my age to hang out with and go to school with and I don't know, it's something I always desperately wished for.

    I can understand not wanting a second child though, you shouldn't pressure yourself into something that you're not sure you want. That's not fair to any member of your family, especially the unborn one! Take time to think about it, and maybe in a couple years when your little girl is a few years older you'll be excited to try a second time.

    Plus, you'll have all this experience under your belt so you may find it a lot easier (and more fun!) doing it again! Just make sure you're in the right place in your life for it.

    Great guest post! Looking forward to checking out your blog :)

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  33. I have three older siblings and two younger siblings. I loveeeee having brothers and sisters and I can't imagine being an only child! They've all played such an important role in my life.

    When I'm ready to have children one day, I've always told myself I definitely want to have at least two. =]

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  34. I am an only child and I've always wanted to have only one child myself, so I had my daughter 9 years ago and never contemplated having another. Life is perfect for us just as it is. : )

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  35. We deffinitely want a big family. I only have one brother, 8 years older than me, and my hubby has five half-siblings that are all a great deal younger than him. We both want to give our kids one thing we never really had: a big, close-knit family. We want to have our kids all withing two years of each other ideally, and no more than three years. Originally my hubby wanted six kids, but I talked him down to four because - although I want a big big family as well, I don't want to have to drive a bus in order to accommodate all the kids, and we'd need a pretty darn big house for all of use to live comfortably. So we've settled on four for now. And who knows, maybe we'll see about expanding once we get there. I don't know you from Adam, but I don't see the harm in you guys having another. You're thinking about the what if's of missing out, so I think that's a sign there's definitely a part of you that wants more. :)

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  36. I am an only child and I have always longed for a sibling. To this day, I feel disadvantaged that I don't have someone to bond with over my family's antics, or to help me years down the road when it's time to care for my own parents.

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  37. She is such an amazing mom and I love her blog!! I actually found her blog through one of your Friday links to love posts I think. I know exactly what she is going through though (I also just left a comment on her blog about this) and it's a very big decision but like I said she'll know what's right in time! :)

    Oh Jazmyn

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  38. I am an only child and I loved it up until I was 19, because when I was 19 my dad had a stroke. I felt very alone and felt that there was no one that could share the heartbreak with me, and to this day I still long for a sibling that would be there to sympathize with what I am going through.

    That said, I am super close with both of my parents and I don't think that I would be as close with them if I wasn't an only child. There are pros and cons to both sides. Good luck choosing what is best for your family!

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  39. only you know what you can handle. trust your instincts!

    i just had my second, and expected to be completely overwhelmed, but somehow it seems way easier this time. my newborn just has to go with the flow and i am much more secure this time around. my two year old now makes my 3 month old smile and that, to me, is priceless.

    i don't think you'd ever regret a second child once they are here.

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  40. You know, I always thought I wanted more then 1 but now I have my daughter I don't feel like it's enough, even though I know everybody is expecting me to have more kids. I had a VERY difficult pregnancy as well. But you know what, it's YOUR body. It's easy for my husband to say he wants another one but I'm the one taking care of her 80% of the time while he works. Don't feel guilty for Vada's sake, she can still socialize in so many other ways. It's too big of a decision to let anyone else take it for you!

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  41. Look at those gorgeous lips! Beautiful!

    My (opinionated) opinion? People rarely regret having another baby. If anything, they regret not having one.

    I think there's grace for each new season, and you're a testament to the fact that you cope, and you get through it, and you're better and more grateful and aware.

    My husband always reminds me (we have one child at the moment) that we have a responsibility to have children who we will raise to be great citizens for our world, and one just isn't enough ;-)

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  42. I only have one right now, and I get what you're saying.

    From what others have told me: one is hard, two is half as hard and if you dare have three or more it's like cake.

    I think the point is you don't go into your second pregnancy/child without knowing what's in store, so it all feels easier in comparison.

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  43. People say you won't regret having a second child, but who would ever EVER say they regret having any child? Once the child is here, you're never going to admit that it was a bad idea. Just saying.

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  44. I think you need to consider your own happiness and health (mental and physical) in the situation. Sure, your daughter would love a sibling. But she also wants a happy healthy mom. I have plenty of friends that are only children and they've turned out just fine. That being said, I also love having a sister. I think either way you and your daughter will be just fine!

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  45. My brother and I are 10 years apart. For me, it was a lot like being an only child. When he moved out, it was just my parents and I. I really enjoyed being by myself and having my parents' undivided attention whenever I needed it. If I ever choose to have a child, I will only have one. I don't want to split my time between anyone more than my husband and one child. My fear is that there would just be too many personalities and needs to handle under one roof.

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  46. i was an only child & i can definitely say that there are benefits & draw backs. growing up i always longed for a brother or sister. hell, as an adult i sometimes still wish i had a brother or sister!

    but i got so much one on one time with my parents. they were/are my very best friends & playmates.

    personally, i'm planning on two for very personal reasons. when i was thirteen-ish my mother got sick with a terminal disease called shy-dragers syndrome. losing my very best friend/everything & going through it alone was the most horrible experience of my life. if something were to ever happen to me i would want to know that my child has a sibling they can go through it with.

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  47. I am my mom's only child. I absolutely loved being able to have so much time by myself to imagine and create. I was always allowed a slumber party for when I was feeling lonely and it worked out great. I was my dad's only child until i was 12 so I guess you could say I had the best of both worlds but that's the point i'm trying to make - a kid will be happy either way.

    My husband and I aren't completely sold on having a kid as of yet but we have decided that if we do we only want one. Neither one of us came from huge families and we don't really see the point. One and done!

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  48. I am an only child, not by my parents' choice, they lost my brother early on and while I know they both still struggle with it and sometimes I think about how it might've been nice to have a bigger immediate family once they are way on in years...I couldn't imagine having all the opportunities I've had if I weren't an only child. I never recall being lonely and I developed an imagination that's lead me to so many places both real and make-believe. I feel that my sense of loyalty to my close friends is a gift from being an only - I might not have blood siblings, but I'll always have them, they ARE my family. And although it's not what's most important, my parents have helped me financially in ways that wouldn't be possible if I wasn't their only child. I know that these are things I want to give to my baby when the time comes and why I plan only having only one.

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  49. Aw Sierra was a difficult infant too. I'd agree that she spent most of her awake time screaming. Remember, all babies are different and just because Vada was a challenging baby doesn't mean another baby would be. Still, you shouldn't have a baby for your hubby or for Vada! You should have another only if and when YOU want to and are ready. As you mentioned, your hubby isn't able to help with late nights and works long hours, so the responsibility day to day will fall on you. You mentioned not having a lot of support, maybe you could join a moms group? I used to nanny and the women I nannied for all became friends through a moms group. They babysat for each other for date nights, shared a nanny, etc.

    We definitely want another baby, but have to wait a bit.

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  50. I'm an only child... I don't want to impose that life on my own children. I was pretty lonely as a kid. I really wanted someone else to share the burden of my parents with. Someone to vent to and confide in. I really feel like I missed out on that special bond that only siblings have.

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  51. My husband is an only child and he is my favorite person in the world! I have four siblings and also feel happy to have them and couldn't imagine life without them.

    I have a girlfriend who went through the same thing you are going through. She and her husband eventually decided to have a second child. I think she still feels overwhelmed, her husband is still not as helpful as she would like him to be. Of course she is "better" at it the second time round but I am not sure that she is super happy with their decision. I think if they could figure out a situation where her hubby is more involved she would be happier but that is just not who he is. I know that sounds awful but that's the truth. I say if your hubby wants a second child, there should be some negotiations regarding his involvement.

    In the end, you have to decide what's right for your own life.

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  52. i am an only child. i really hate it. i'm bored a LOT of the time since both of my parents work. when i am older, i won't be able to go hang out with my sister or brother because i won't have one. anyways. :) just my thoughts.

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  53. You would be surprised what you can handle. I freaked out when I found out I was pregnant with my second when my son was only 7 months old! I now feel like it is a total blessing to have two. They love each other and keep each other entertained! HAHA! I can't imagine my life without either of them

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  54. given the difficulties you had with post-partum depression, the pregnancy in general, etc--i'd say if you truly want a second child, adoption would be a great answer! although your family situation (with your partner working late hours) would still be less than ideal, adoption would allow you to have another child to love without all the physical stressors that came with your first one. besides, adoption is just as large a gift and an act of love as making a baby.

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  55. Trust your heart and even though it is wonderful that your husband wants another child you too must feel strongly positive that it is the right choice for you. I have an only child and that is what I aways wanted for us and he has filled our hearts with the greatest happiness I have ever known. My little boy does have some extra needs. He is autistic and even though he is very high functioning I often wonder how I would juggle having more than one child. So I think it is very important to always be prepared when adding to your family to be open minded to the possibilities of how you would be able to handle a child with special needs just in case. I wish you all the best! Good luck and your baby girl is beautiful!

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  56. if it's the pregnancy part, that scares you the most, have you considered adopting...?

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