Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why Yes, I Will Put a Bumper Sticker on this Ferrari: An Open Letter to Lisa Khoury






***before reading, please check out Lisa Khoury's "Why Put a Bumper Sticker on a Ferrari?"

Dear Lisa Khoury,

First of all, I have to congratulate you on breaking down the female role so simply- we are here to make men drool! To turn heads! We hold some serious power in our hands! So thankful you let me in on this, because frankly, while typing this I was looking down at my tattooed arms feeling lost...and now I understand why I'm happily married, raising an intelligent child, hold two degrees, and live a wonderful life. Oh, wait...

I think the biggest, most glaring problem in your article is that you are saying that women should not get tattoos. Not men. And with that comes a laundry list of things that are wrong with your argument. You say that tattooed women are lacking class, yet I find it interesting that the person who is making such a broad and judgmental statement is the same woman who is calling "wearing high heels" and "getting your nails done" a productive and good use of time. Your ignorance is almost shocking to me, and I kept holding out for the "just kidding, guys! I'm really not this crazy!" all the way to the end. To put it simply, I just can't find the logic in any of your argument.

Ms. Khoury, I get it. You don't like tattoos. And that's okay- we're all entitled to our own opinion. But objectifying and cutting down your own gender is absolutely the wrong way to go about it. You've painted a portrait of the ideal woman in your article- she's someone who enjoys the finer things in life and flaunts her body. If she's unhappy with herself she wears trendy clothes and goes to the mall with her girlfriends. Maybe she'll try out a new hairstyle, or perhaps get a new gym membership. But this elegant woman would never, ever get a tattoo because she finds deep meaning and purpose in the aforementioned "genuine, satisfying" things; no need to do something as unmeaningful and classless as get a tattoo. Makes perfect sense.

So congratulations, you've managed to perpetuate the stereotype that all women are put on this Earth to look pretty. Not once in your list of "productive activities" did you mention anything really worthwhile. You've degraded all women down to a common purpose; to "work hard" at looking good. This archaic way of thinking is not just stupid, it's downright harmful. I hope that if you ever have a daughter, you somehow gain enough knowledge between now and then to be able to teach her that women are worth so much more than their appearance, tattooed or not.

Lucky for you this article will live on just as long as the tattoos all over my body. And one day, when we're each "in the middle of giving our grandkids a life lesson on the importance of values and morals," at least I won't ever have to explain that one time I single-handedly set my own gender back a hundred steps and humiliated myself on the internet via my own small-minded, judgmental mindset. And to answer your question, "what's more attractive than a girl with a nice body?" A girl with a brain, Lisa Khoury. A girl with a brain who uses it and who knows that all women don't belong in a box, especially a box drawn by someone using sexism and ignorance to make their point. That's attractive.

My hope for you is that you continue to educate yourself, and stop trying to hand out "life's secrets" until you gain a little more life experience yourself.

Sincerely,
Danielle Hampton

Ferrari image via

322 comments:

  1. Well said Danielle, you are so beautiful inside AND out!

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  2. well put, well said. I love this :) WAY TO GO :)

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  3. YEaaaaaahhhh!
    Her article is insane. The only way to explain it is insane.
    Why is painting your nails a better way to spend your time than getting a tattoo? Realistically, getting a tattoo is a TIME SAVER so you don't have to paint that part of your body ever again. It lasts your entire life. That's a much better use of time than painting your nails, which you'd have to do at least twice a month.

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  4. Love your letter! Is she serious?! I love tattoos, and have a few. I see it as art and find them really beautiful.

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  5. YES! Perfect argument stated INTELLIGENTLY and THOUGHTFULLY. Kudos!

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  6. Wow, I can't believe I just read that. You took all the thoughts right out of my head as I read her article.
    "But at the end of the day, are you really a happier person? Has this tattoo, for instance, caused you to learn something new about yourself? Has it challenged you? Has it led you to self-growth? Nothing comes out of getting a tattoo. You get a tattoo, and that's it."
    This particular statement is funny because I know A TON of people who would say these are exactly the things brought forth from getting a tattoo, but could a girl who just got her nails done say the same? Probably not.
    Also, what in the world do tattoos have to do with basic values and morals?! There she goes slumping anyone with a tattoo into the category of a deliquesce to society because we all know you'd have to be a complete miscreant to even think of getting a tattoo. Way to go Lisa Khoury, way to go.

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    1. What are you talking about?! Getting my nails done is a HUUUGE challenge and leads to my self growth every week! I never leave the salon without learning something new about myself. /sarcasm

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    2. The other thought I had when I read that part of her article was how could she know whether any of those things are true or not, since if she's so against tattoos, she obviously doesn't have one herself? She's making a judgment about something without having experienced it. And fine, if she doesn't want a tat, good for her. I'm not telling her to get one. But on the same token, she shouldn't tell anyone else what to do or not do either.

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  7. Well said Danielle! I read your entry first and then read hers. WOW! Is she for real? Investing your time in meaningful things means going to the mall with your friends, Really? I know we are all entitled to our own opinions, but this woman needs to get a clue. I think you did an amazing job at eloquently making her argument look: Stupid!

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  8. Hahahaha. I love this! I can't wait to get my first tattoo. xo, rv

    http://aneclecticheap.blogspot.com/

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  9. She probably doesn't agree with same sex marriage either...

    Your letter was wonderful, and it makes me proud of my tattoos!

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    1. That was my thought as well.

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    2. It made me think something similar: She completely ignored the existence of gay women and suggested that women need to take care of themselves for men.

      This a wonderful letter - Thank you for your thoughtful, and understandably outraged, response, Danielle!

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  10. ACK! Thank you! I could not believe that article!! Get my nails done and go shopping with the girls...ugh

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  11. Wow, just wow...her article left me speechless, in a bad way! Love what you wrote and I hope she reads it!

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  12. Amazing, thank you! You have such a way with words. Your response made me smile from ear to ear. I only have one tattoo so far and I'm proud of it. No one should be cut down for the choices they make about their own body. I shake my fist at Ms. Khoury and applaud you Danielle!

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  13. Hell. Yes. I saw a few women promoting that article on FB yesterday. I was shocked.!I'll be promoting this one. Thank you for sticking up for all of us against that simple minded... I'll just leave it at that.

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    1. I can't imagine that people are actually standing behind that article! Depressing.

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  14. High five, Danielle! And a second high five for my daughter.

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  15. Oh no she didn't!

    I want to hug you right now! Seriously!

    xoxo, Jjanga
    www.sayhelloandsmile.blogspot.com

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  16. Love it. Never really understood why others care so much about what other people do... :)

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  17. Man, that article got me fired up. I think your response is perfect. I can't believe she used such superficial and sexist examples meant to epitomize self improvement and good time use! Having tattoos doesn't make me any less beautiful. But that's not the point. If I want self improvement, I'll go read some friggin' Plato.

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  18. Thank you so much for writing this - you stood up for all of us, tattooed or not! xo

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  19. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it still disappoints and surprises me when women like Lisa Khoury catapult women's equality back to the dark ages with a one-dimensional, poorly-written piece.

    Sigh

    High-five Danielle!

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  20. I've tweeted this to a thousand friends who were all FUMING about her article this morning.
    I had a neighbour call me "thug" today because of a thigh piece- I've just moved into a flat with my boyfriend and our cat; the loudest we get is when watching Star Wars and I was totally offended by her comment (to my dad of all people). I'm tempted to print this off and write her a note about stereotypes.

    On behalf of all of us, Brave, Danielle.

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  21. I could not agree more with your letter. It is so well written, and seriously, how could she think that way?! I get not liking tattoos, because my whole family is completely against them. But it's not like getting a tattoo makes me instantly stupid or unwanted by men. There was a time when Steven was not a fan. He told me he'd only really like it if I got one or two small ones. He's since changed his mind and we're both planning on getting many over the next few years. [I have an appointment the end of this month!]

    That "lady" is stupid, and close-minded.
    You are beautiful, intelligent, and I totally have a HUGE girl-crush on you.

    <3katie

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  22. Good lord! Can I please favorite this article?! I have such strong opinions about tattoos (despite that my parents wont let me get any until I'm out of college) and this argument just said it all. Thank you so much for this! It's something all women should read whether they have/like tattoos or not.

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  23. Amen, Danielle! I just read her article, what a nutty way to describe why women were put on this Earth.

    New perspective needed, STAT!

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  24. Thank you, Danielle! This is a wonderful response to such archaic nonsense and exactly everything that came to mind when I was reading her article. It saddens me that there are still women who hold such damaging views of their own gender.

    Honestly, I really thought she was just joking too. But no.

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  25. That was a laughable article! I'd rather keep all my tattoo's than end up with opinions like her. I also would not like her to ever flaunt herself near where I am unless she has a bag over her head. OOOOh she has annoyed me.

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  26. Wow. What world is she living in? I have a tattoo for my husband, and I feel that this shows more meaning and significance than the wedding ring I wear. I can take my beautiful jewelry off, but the point is, I can't take my tattoo off. It is an example of my commitment to him on a deeper level, not a superficial level like jewelry does...but you know wearing lots of jewelry might make me seem more feminine and desirable. I think spending the time and money on my tattoo actually meant a lot to my husband, and it is a VERY personal act, worthy of my time. Before I got my tattoos I was slightly worried about how it would look when I started getting old and wrinkly, but then I realized, I'll be old and wrinkly and they will be part of my experiences that I can take with me, unlike my looks.

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  27. I read this article earlier this morning, and was just appalled that she could be so judgmental to people with tattoos. Like we’re all the same? It's so ridiculous that she'd prefer being so vain over being productive - we are *not* just objects to be looked at!
    What really bugged me was her assumption that "... at the end of the day, are you really a happier person? Has this tattoo, for instance, caused you to learn something new about yourself?"
    Yes, it can. Meaningful tattoos totally exist. I have a lotus flower tattooed on my foot. I got it 2 days after my father in-law committed suicide. It reminds me every single day to appreciate today, and even though some points in our life seem completely unbearable, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
    Assumptions like this just make me sad. Who gave her the right to gather a group of females into one pot and just assume everyone is alike and unable to make the “proper” decisions for our gender?
    Geesh

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  28. Such a well written response! i'm sharing mine on tuesday because it got me so fired up! It was a shallow, ignorant and sexist article! xo

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  29. High five, friend! This was awesome to read. Rock on for standing up for what you believe in. I wrote something to this effect in my letter to her, but I got far more life experience/challenge/self growth out of my tattoo experiences than I ever got out of doing my nails.

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  30. I just had to come over to say: PREACH!

    Also, you are totally correct with this point:

    "And to answer your question, "what's more attractive than a girl with a nice body?" A girl with a brain, Lisa Khoury. A girl with a brain who uses it and who knows that all women don't belong in a box, especially a box drawn by someone using sexism and ignorance to make their point. That's attractive."

    Yes, yes, YES! People who use their brains are *very* attractive ^_^

    from a Lisa who is dismayed to learn she shares this name with a terrible, sexist writer ...

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  31. You are pretty terrific. You need 10 high fives and at least 37 pats on the back!! I really respect that you keep your blog a positive place but also take the time to address the bullshit when it's necessary. I read her article yesterday and was just totally baffled by the whole thing. It is just bizarre and nasty. She's totally the type of person I want teaching our future generation morals and values. My tattoos mean something to me, and to my family, as I think is the case with a lot of tattooed women. Ugh, what a nut. Let's all just be grateful that we don't have to live with such a narrow viewpoint.

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  32. VERY well said! Amen, sister. I love that you approached this with class and intelligence, rather than anger and selfishness. Nicely done.

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  33. You. fucking. rock.

    PS - I rarely swear, but this deserved it.

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  34. A few of us (my tattooed friends) left a few comments on her article on Monday. I was quite shocked that the paper even ran such a misogynistic piece. Maybe they wanted her to feel some backlash as a learning tool. Thank you for writing this so eloquently. There's nothing like fighting fire with a finely written letter by someone with tattoos that has a brain.

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  35. Well said! I saw this on instagram and didn't know where it came from but was so offended. You bring up the best point about how she only targets women in this article. What about men with tattoos? That's probably next. For which I can't wait. I do not need some immature senseless random person telling me not to get tattoos because she isn't a fan of them. Well I am. I'm also a fan of painting my nails and going to the gym. I love a good pair of high heels. But just because I have tattoos doesn't mean I don't love myself or never got anything out of it. I love that there's an email address at the bottom. I hope she's proud of herself now.

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  36. I kinda wanna burn my bra.........is it just me?

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  37. That's hilarious. I didn't read the article first and I was like, "Dude! Who is badass enough to buy a Ferrari and put a bumper sticker on it?" I, personally, would do that (because I am THAT badass)(however, I can't because I can only afford the bumper sticker) and it'd be a black flag sticker. Like I've had on every car since I was 17. And then I read what you wrote & what she wrote and realized I was way off. I guess I feel the same way about my body. It's better than a Ferrari (it made a baby) and it has beautiful art on it. To say that a woman who has tattoos is lacking in class & morals is just...classless (LISA). Plus, it seems to me that lately the chicks who have been spouting out about how classy they are these days are the ones that are seriuosly lacking. (Have you seen Bad Girls club?)

    Lisa ain't badass enough to put a bumper sticker on her Ferrari (talking about the car). She'd be all "Oh no what would everybody say? How will I explain this (awesome) sticker to my grandkids? Let me just do what everybody else is doing and then everybody will think I'm super classy and have morals." LAAAAAME!

    People know I have morals & goodness & CLASS about me because of the way I live and the way I treat others. (even though I said "ass" three times in this comment)

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  38. The highest of fives to you, my dear!

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  39. feeling hella feminist right now

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  40. That article frankly sounds like it was written by a 12 year old with absolutely no "real life" experience. Sound to me like she just thinks that all women should act as real life barbie dolls...NO THANK YOU.

    Thanks for standing up for classy women everywhere, tattooed or not! I hope that she realizes how ignorant and sexist her article truly was.

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  41. "And to answer your question, "what's more attractive than a girl with a nice body?" A girl with a brain, Lisa Khoury. A girl with a brain who uses it and who knows that all women don't belong in a box, especially a box drawn by someone using sexism and ignorance to make their point."

    PREACH! Your response to this article is truly wonderful. Thank you for the taking the time to write this & STAND UP!
    xx. Jillian

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  42. HEAR HEAR! I read that article yesterday and I got a cramp from rolling my eyes so hard.

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  43. I absolutely LOVE this! As a fellow tattooed lady, I was shocked and upset when I came across that article yesterday. That sort of archaic thinking could easily set women's rights back a few years. But you did an amazing job at expressing your opinion. I agree 100%. :)

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  44. Wow. Dude. I wonder what she thinks about pierced ears? all this time I've been valuing my brain, what was I thinking?
    Thank you for this reply. I think you're awesome btw. ;)

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    1. No no pierced ears are good because you can go to the mall and buy earrings.

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  45. I liked your letter to her. You set her straight but didn't lose your class to do it. I am actually tattoo free and I don't agree with her article. She went too far without explaining herself. Good job Danielle!

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  46. I love you even more now. Perfectly put!!!!!

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  47. Fantastic. Glad to hear that your son will grow up respecting woman and appreciating women for their intellect, humour etc. I don't understand why a woman would try and make things harder for her gender to be accepted in society, it's already hard enough.

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  48. thank you for standing up for not only heavily tattooed women but just women in general! this women is just ignorant and sad. Thank you again, i also shared the links with everyone i knew lol!

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  49. Do you know, I've never been pigeon holed. Interesting experience. So I need to buy a gym membership or some clothes instead? Mmmm. Already got a gym membership. Don't need any clothes at the mo. And if she thinks for a moment I regret getting any of my tattoos, she's really badly mistaken...Liked your reply. I'm a Brit and haven't read anything she's previously written (and I doubt I will again) but does she always write such crap?

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  50. Absolutely perfect Danielle...I mean, wow. You couldn't have said this anymore eloquently. Well said all the way around!

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  51. Being a woman is not defined by beauty, and at least for me my end-all, be-all is not shopping and getting my nails done.

    Thanks for your well written response Danielle! I'm still in shock over the article, but you summed it all up so well.

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  52. Wow!! I'm pretty sure she just pushed the feminist movement back like 60 years. Way to go.

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  53. Danielle, you're response is perfectly said!!!! I sat here with my mouth gapping open as I read her embarrassingly ignorant "article". So sad some people are so small minded.

    xo
    B

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  54. Thank you! I can't believe that article, it's absolutely bizarre!

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  55. You couldn't have given a better answer! She's so shallow! Well done for your article! :-)

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  56. your reply is absolutely perfect. awesome job!

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  57. YES! Danielle, I am so glad you wrote to her! You said everything I was thinking! Her article was so absurd! Thank you for writing to her, and hopefully teaching her a lesson!

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  58. What's better is that little survey stating 94% of her readers have/want tattoos. Great job, lady.

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  59. You are amazing and your reply is perfect. Makes me even MORE excited for the half sleeve I'm having drawn up for me :)

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  60. well said! i'm sitting here at our tattoo shop ...almost speechless at this woman's 'view'

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  61. Couldn't have said it better myself!

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  62. As if I didn't love you enough. This is amazing. I cannot believe that woman!

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  63. I can't even tell you how many times I've smile and laughed at your response. I don't think anyone could of said it any better than you did. You're such an amazing person, Danielle. I love how open-minded and genuine you are, even with people that are ridiculous in their beliefs. I am so glad I found your blog.

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  64. Great letter!! I was fuming yesterday for hours after i read her ignorant and sexist article. I even kept refreshing to read people's comments. I would love to see her write some sort of response or follow up to her atrocious article. LOVE TO.

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  65. Love that you did this!

    Read her article yesterday and was amazed...

    Hope you don't mind, I'm sharing her article along with your response on the blog today!

    legabby.blogspot.com

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  66. I love this so much, well said! I read that article yesterday and hoped someone would say something in reply to her, so happy to see you said something! You're amazing, stay amazing. <3

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  67. I'm speechless. According to her, tattoos can't challenge you or lead to self-growth. But, painting you nails can challenge you and lead to self-growth? What does painting your nails get you? A pretty color for a week that's it. We can get more out of our tattoos. I just don't get the way her brain thinks. Danielle, you took all of the words out my mouth. Thank for you this.

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  68. Wow, really? I cannot believe her article and that someone thought it was good enough to publish online! Great response to her!

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  69. Yes yes yes!! I totally commend you for taking a stand against this ignorant piece of writing. Thank you for standing up for tattooed women as well as women in general. The last thing we should ever fall back into is the idea of objectification!

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  70. I really didn't think it was possible, but my respect for you just increased x1000. This is so incredibly well-written, and cuts right to the main problems in her awful article. Sharing this right now.

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  71. If anybody would like to give me a Ferrari, I'll slap some bumper stickers on it!

    Your response was great. My response would not be so tactful. What a crock of shit.

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  72. You just keep being you. Tattoos are beautiful. And this closed minded lady's pole says 94% agree. NINETY FOUR PERCENT want or have tattoos!!! What a trick.

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  73. Excellent reply to such judgmental statements! I am so tired of women portraying women to be so mindless and stupid. Like we are all here just just look pretty?! What the heck?! Look around lady, there are all types of women making such huge changes in the world and some even have tattoos! Having tattoos doesn't define a person, it's a matter of choice and style. I wish that whole mindset would fade away as well. Pull your head out of your butts people!

    :)

    http://www.sealedwithakay.com

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  74. As someone who is getting her first tattoo in a few days, I must say that it getting tattooed (for me) is about personal growth, and facing ones fears. Regardless, this girl is so out of it!

    Where did she come up with the idea that the only way that we can be valued, and value ourselves, is through going to the gym, wearing certain clothes, and getting our nails and hair done? How does she miss the all important point that beauty comes from within? And, what year is this girl living in?!

    Great response Danielle!

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  75. BRAVO! Your response to this disgusting article by Lisa is spot on. It's people like her that make this world a sad, sad place.

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  76. Amen! It's really unfortunate in this day and age when women sabotage their own gender. We should be supporting each other, not cutting each other down.

    ModaMama.blogspot.com

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  77. Too many responses to her were clouded with bitter personal offense that unfortunately marred their own responses; yours was able to answer her in such a professional, forward manner that not only cut apart her argument, but did so without letting anger get in the way. You've gained a steadfast follower in me, and as a tattooed woman myself, I thank you for being on a public forum to represent not only those of us who are proud of their ink, but any woman that is proud to think for herself.

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  78. ::Applause:: Thank you! Well written and thoughtful!

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  79. BRAVO!!! Danielle - brilliant, absolutely brilliant!

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  80. I couldn't agree with you more. This is a great response to Lisa's article. I hope she reads it.

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  81. Just when I thought I couldn't love you any more!! Thank you so much for addressing this with such elegance, and well, frankly with balls! I am so glad there are such intelligent women in this world, like you who aren't afraid to show it!!

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  82. How can someone say that a womans value is in their appearance and not the content within. Guess what I HATE heels and makeup. I can still manage to look very cute without those. When I go to work I work in a male dominated industry and I DON'T dress cute in heals and makeup, I wear Jeans, Polo shirts and Sneakers. Having class has nothing to do with wearing heels, makeup and a pretty dress it's all about how you carry yourself and treat others.

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  83. I love your blog, well done and couldn't agree more as a tattooed female myself!

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  84. I saw Khoury's article (and this article too http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/fashion/6312527/Are-tattoos-a-tragic-mistake) and considered writing about them... then saw on your Twitter you were planning an open letter, and knew your writing would be far greater! Thanks for laying some of my own thoughts down so eloquently x

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  85. *applauding* Nice job, mama! I read that article yesterday, saw your tweet about this post, and couldn't wait to read it. I agree, whole-heartedly, with every single thing you say here.

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  86. get it girl!
    and for you, lisa, getting a tattoo DOES teach me about myself. i learned I am strong enough to wear what i believe in, whether its deeply emotionally meaningful or just beautiful to me.

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  87. Yes.

    "what's more attractive than a girl with a nice body?" A girl with a brain, Lisa Khoury. A girl with a brain who uses it and who knows that all women don't belong in a box, especially a box drawn by someone using sexism and ignorance to make their point. That's attractive.

    Exactly. Thank you for sharing your reply. I still can't believe women still degrade our own gender.

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  88. I didn't think it was possible to love you & your blog anymore than I already did, but this post proved me wrong. As a fellow woman with tattoos -- thank you! Aside from the well-stated points in your letter, completing a tattoo gives me far more self-confidence and pride than getting my hair or nails done ever will!

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  89. what scares me most is that, to this day, there are so many women out there believing shit like that. When I was 13 I heard one of my male friends say, that he wanted his one-day wife to stay at home and not work. He would gladly go to work every day, so she can sit at home and take care of her hair and nails all day, making sure she looks sexy when he comes home....Yes....he said just that. wtf?? I've never forgotten that.

    Even with 13 I totally exploded. I don't no how long I was standing there and totally killing that guy with good arguments and attitude. I was never a girl to win anybody over with my looks ( I didn't want to, for that matter) but after that...I was highly respected by everybody in school....just because I had brains and the confidence to stick up to shit like that.

    Even with 13 I had enough sense to stand up against such sexism and shit from a guy.

    I can't believe that there are grown up women out there talking the same bullshit.

    Glad you wrote this letter danielle. I really hope she reads it

    xoxoxo
    Melanie

    PS. I'm not tattoed and I don't plan on getting any! I still totally love them :)

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  90. Thank you! I read this last night on facebook. I couldn't believe it was not a joke. She is setting women back so many years :(

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  91. Amen, sister! My tattoos are among the best decisions I've ever made. I applaud your response to Lisa's "article!"

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  92. Mmmmhhhhmmm! Sing it, sister! She should be ashamed of herself.

    NO ONE should EVER talk about women that way. It's this kind of bullshit that reminds me of what my Mom fought against when she was 21, making double the money that her father was making and couldn't get a credit card in her own name all because she was a woman. Ms. Khoury's bullshit article reminded me of what my Grandmother struggled with, what my Great Grandmother struggled with...and on and on. So, thank you, Lisa. You've reminded us all that we will sometimes have to continue to be strong, beautiful, independent women DESPITE other people...especially of our own fucking gender. Thanks for that.

    Welp, that got me all fired up again. Think I'll head to the mall and get myself a new pair of high heels. I don't like how my calves look when I'm angry ;) ;) ;)

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  93. Fuck yeah, Danielle! You put it absolutely beautifully.
    Love and Turtledoves,
    Jacqueline

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  94. AMEN!!! She talks about happiness and self growth which is all fine and dandy, but pretending like I grew 4 inches in my high heels isn't exactly satisfying self growth. Trendy clothes are not in charge of my character. It boggles my mind how she went on and on encouraging superficiality, and not once suggested anything that would lead to a positive self evolution. In fact, it sounds as if she thinks all females should act like 50's housewives. No, thank you.

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  95. You put in words every single thing that I was thinking! Thank you!

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  96. Ahaha, you are awesome and she is an idiot.

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  97. Bravo!! Your response was exactly what I would have loved to say, only put way more eloquently! I appreciate that you didn't defend yourself or your tattoos, rather the entire population of women. I agree, our sole purpose is not to look pretty or fit into a specific role. I love that you pointed out the importance of an education and being a good person! Super impressed with your writing! Great job! I'll be passing this article along for several people to read!

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  98. hahaha, the article didn't even make me mad because it was so ridiculous.
    ALTHOUGH: i hadn't realized that i've been missing out on the finer things in life because i've never gotten my nails done and i never wear high heels. rats.
    classless and clueless i guess. oh well!

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    Replies
    1. ps: this kind of fits with the blog post i wrote this morning. it's an interesting addition to my thoughts as of late.

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  99. there ARE people out there that get tattooed for silly or superficial reasons, completely missing out on what the experience can be. it's these very people who would be able to get anything remotely constructive or informative from this gal's article! a shallow article for shallow people.

    love you and your voice! and your tattoos! haha.

    xoxo

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  100. You're upset because you feel that your vanity is better than hers? Or that she feels hers is better than yours?
    OH OK.

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    Replies
    1. I do not think you really read this.

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    2. Alyse, I totally agree. Clearly not read.

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  101. Wow...how did you even find that piece of junk? I appreciate your response. I would have sounded tyrannical had I attempted to do so. I am glad you can be the voice for so many.

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  102. Couldn't have said it better myself. Brava, Dani!

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  103. Danielle,
    Let me begin by saying to you ~ Well said!
    I don't think anyone could have said it all better...
    When I first read the article by Lisa, I was actually insulted to say the least! Especially coming from a family in which everyone has at least one tattoo! Carly Kmyta is my daughter - and she is beautiful tattoos and all! I have many myself & yes I look at them and they all have meaning for me...Thank you for your response to Lisa's article - again WELL SAID!!!!
    Much Luv to you
    Teri-lee Neuman :)

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  104. I was appalled when I read that article because what I got from it is that women with tattoos have no class and are basically worthless beings. I have tattoos and yes they have meaning and yes they have led me to self-growth and yes it challenges me. I have a tattoo of a finch that represents my grandfather who has passed away (he used to raise finches). every time I look at it I remember the wonderful and giving and hardworking person he was and it pushes me to be like him. the nail polish on my nails and the shirt I'm wearing don't motivate me to do anything. I hope she reads your letter to understand that clothing and pretty make up doesn't make women challenge their self growth or make them any wiser. I feel like we're being stereotyped like when people think men with tattoos are just criminals. Except she doesn't mention men with tattoos. Why don't they get to spend their time working on their muscles and shaving their face? Are they classier with tattoos? I don't get it. And it's amazing that it was written in 2012. Not 1952.

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  105. I have only started reading your blog after stumbling onto your photos on instagram. This entry both enraged me and made me incredibly proud to be a woman whom shares your opinion. It is a great understatement to try and express the sadness of such ignorance, a woman's worth being degraded to the level of painted nails and temporary clothing. How heavy the weight of female intelligence suffocated by the rantings of a judgmental girl completely unaware of true self worth. Thank you for responding to this, it gives me pride knowing there are strong women (tattooed or not) willing to fight such ridiculous, untruthful expressions. here is to the next generation of strong, intelligent, and worthy women may be make even the 'Iron Jawed Angels' proud.

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  106. First of all wow - lots of comments in a very short amount of time :)

    Second - I am untattooed and that article offended me. I have nothing against tattoos, I think some are beautiful some are not. I've thought about getting one myself, but I'm still unsure. But the fact that she describes women and their role in life the way she did and that WOMEN should not get tattoos? Really?

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  107. I am so glad that there are women like you to help fight against the hatred and discrimination of tattooed people. While you are right in saying everyone is entitled to having an opinion and voicing it - it is so unfortunate that this small minded article will only fuel the fire of immaturity, ignorance and ridiculousness there is in her followers.
    Thank you for being such an amazing role model, not only for mama's and women, but as a tattooed person who works in a professional world.
    <3 Sara

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  108. That was succinct and very well written. You're awesome.

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  109. I can't believe such an ignorant piece of drivel was published online. Getting your hair done, shopping at malls and wearing heels are "productive" uses of time?! Good luck to her in finding true fulfillment in her life down the road if she thinks that is all it takes to be a "classy," respected woman.

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  110. URgh i just read that and it made me want to vom a little!
    What an idiotic closed minded woman! You on the other hand articulated a brilliant argument perfectly!

    Ps, we can take joy in the fact that the poll is 96% of people want tattos :L

    Romina
    ignitingbones.blogspot.com

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  111. Very well said. I guess now I can say that one good thing came from Lisa's article. It allowed me to discover your blog.

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  112. Wow, my jaw was on the floor as I read her ignornant article. I cannot believe that a woman could degrade her own gender with such thoughtless comments. Everything in your letter was beautifully said. Kuddos to you!

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  113. first of all, that girl's article is unintelligent, narrow minded and retarded for lack of a better word. I am kind of shaking my head in disbelief that she published something like that!? Your response is totally appropriate, Danielle, and I hope she reads it.

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  114. Love this response! Here was my comment on her article:

    You are correct, women DO hold power. However, it is not because "guys drool over us" and the other vain, surface-level attributes that you mention, but because of our education, intelligence, and great accomplishments. Some of my accomplishments include help and love that I have provided to the autistic community. In fact, I have a tattoo of the symbol for autism awareness on my arm. Since you state that nothing comes from getting a tattoo, I would like to inform you that people often ask me about my tattoo, which has led to a multitude of incredible conversations. In these conversations, I am able to enlighten people about autism and make recommendations to those with autistic family members. So yes, in answer to your questions, I get meaning out of my tattoo, and so do others. It makes me happier and leads to others being happier. It has led to my self-growth, as well as the growth of others.

    I am embarrassed for you.

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  115. I read this article yesterday and posted it on my Facebook page, completely shocked and horrid at this woman's ignorance and close-minded ness. I love your response to this, it's everything I wanted to say and couldn't find the words for.

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  116. Good for you Danielle. Couldn't agree more with YOU.

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  117. Wow! This is an amazing response!

    I myself don't have any tattoos (more because I'm too afraid of the needle than for any deeper reason,) and in general consider myself a pretty "classy" girl. But I'm sorry, class is certainly not attributed to a lack of ink, and having a tattoo makes you no less classy or beautiful. (side-note, the hubs-to-be has two tattoos, and I drool over them, but apparently men are allowed so that doesn't really matter, right? lol)

    I am so impressed with this reaction! New follower right here!

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  118. I usually don't get up in arms about articles like this, but this one actually pissed me off. This is what I commented:

    "I'm not going to say anything negative or attack the author's character because I think that's entirely inappropriate and unnecessary, however I do think it's counterproductive to encourage women to stick to antiquated activities to feel good about themselves while discouraging individuality. Yes, tattoos are permanent, and many people outgrow them, but that should be a personal decision that the individual feels good about, not something we as a society discourage and shame. I have one tattoo. It is not visible when I'm dressed, and it has a lot of meaning. It's a saying my mother used to say to me a lot, and when she passed away suddenly, I decided on a whim to get the tattoo. It's been nearly two years, and I absolutely do not regret my decision. And, yes, I plan on getting more. If someone thinks I am ugly because I have chosen to get a tattoo, that's fine. To be perfectly honest, I would expect for the same person to think others are ugly because of their makeup or weight or if they wear glasses. I personally believe that every woman is beautiful and that we should embrace differences, not chastise people for them. It's the same kind of prejudice that has existed through out human history, and I have yet to see a positive form of prejudice."

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  119. the part where she says "Nothing comes out of getting a tattoo. You get a tattoo, and that's it. You do something productive, though, and you see results. That's a genuine, satisfying change in life. Not ink." does this weird mix of infuriating me and makes me laugh, because she does not know what she is talking about. i am a tattooed mom, married to a tattoo artist dad. i don't think that every tattoo has to have some meaning, and totally love my silly tattoos as much as i love my tattoos with maybe some more meaning, but a lot comes from getting a tattoo.

    this woman just does not have a darn clue about tattoos, and it is sad how she's easily stereotyped anyone with them.

    i enjoy your rebuttal and think you are a brilliant and beautiful woman and mom, who also has beautiful tattoos.

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  120. It's sad in this day and age that a woman would write such superficial, judgmental, ignorant crap in a college publication.
    "An elegant woman does not vandalize the temple she has been blessed with as her body. She appreciates it." Really? It's our freaking temple and we can decorate it and appreciate it as we choose.
    I'm a tattooed mom with a career, an education, and I sing for a metal band. I flaunt my talents not my "body."

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  121. as cheesy as this may sound: you go, girl! wonderfully written. c:

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  122. Wonderfully stated Danielle! I read this article yesterday and one of my first thoughts (after getting over the how "class-less" I am) was "I wonder if Danielle has seen this yet?"

    Your open letter is right on.

    Thank you.

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  123. How heated were you when you first read this?? Wow! Great response.

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  124. Thank you Danielle.... so wonderfully put. Inky miscreants unite!

    MY REPLY TO LISA KHOURY.


    Wait a tick? This woman is a real journalist, who works for a real company, and that company has real editors that approve her writing before it can really be published? This is a joke right, really, for real?

    "An elegant woman does not vandalize the temple she has been blessed with as her body. She appreciates it. She flaunts it. She's not happy with it? She goes to the gym. She dresses it up in lavish, fun, trendy clothes, enjoying trips to the mall with her girlfriends. She accentuates her legs with high heels. She gets her nails done. She enjoys the finer things in life, all with the body she was blessed with." Lisa "Frikkin" Khoury.

    Yes Lisa, my tattoos are such shallow and base extensions of myself but I feel so grounded and in touch with who I am as a female when I go to the mall with my girlfriends and wear high heels so that I can, how did you put it exactly? Oh right, so that I can turn heads and make guys drool because my body is my temple. I'm not one to bash women any day but you better make sure you have your ish together if you are going to talk about polishing nails, wearing high heels and making guys drool. I paint my nails and sometimes I don't, I wear high heels, combat boots, nike trainers... sweats, disco pants, pencil skirts... a plain white t-shirt, a blouse, a curve hugging dress, a frikkin' muu muu and I have tattoos and I'm going to get more and I still make heads turn. You know why? Because I carry myself with class no matter what I'm wearing and I believe that as a woman I have the right and the ability to be as rebellious and off the charts as I want as long as I respect myself and walk tall. Haters are going to hate but when I walk by it doesn't matter what they think because my value is founded and birthed with in my own soul. It is not fed and founded by other peoples perceptions of me.

    My tattoos are bloody fabulous and are a picture-story of the travels and discoveries I have made in life. If we are going to talk about temples, the human race has been using pictures to tell stories for many, many millennia. The Incas, the Egyptians, the Minoans and the Mayans to name a few were civilizations that decorated their temples with pictures to tell stories about their history, beliefs and way of life. "In terms of tattoos on actual bodies, the earliest known examples were for a long time Egyptian and were present on several female mummies dated to c. 2000 B.C." http://www.smithsonianmag.com/historyarchaeology/tattoo.html?c=y&page=1.

    One thing that you have managed to pull off successfully is to provoke a rapidly growing community of people to join together and proudly put their tattooed arms in the air, crying out in unison, "here we are Lisa Khoury; the inky miscreants of the world... we raise children, we have degrees, families that love and respect us and partners that adore us! Have tattoos got in the way of our dreams and aspirations? Hell no, in fact they are a marker of what dreams and aspirations we may have attained and the ones we still strive towards daily and what values and beliefs we hold dear to us!"

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  125. Wow Danielle. That was awesome. Thank you so much for defending all of us inked and SMART girls. I dont think my tattoos, hair, heels, time spent roller derbying, or nails process the payroll and payables at my job. Its my brain. Same brain that made the decision to get the meaningful tattoos I have that make me smile whenever I look at them.
    That girl has a lot of living and learning to do.

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  126. Damn, Danielle! I love your response to that ignorant article. Brains are what matters.
    I absolutely despise it when people make such uneducated statements. Tattoos are not classless. My tattoos make me even more beautiful. You go, girl!

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  127. AMEN. This is the best response. I am so disgusted by her article.

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  128. That rocked. Very well addressed!! <3

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  129. oh wow. this is insane. i cannot believe that people are so closed minded.

    danielle, i loved your classy response to such an un-classy article.

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  130. you hit the nail on the head, danielle. as i read lisa's article, i too was waiting for the punch line. being a heavily tattooed, successful, educated, ambitious, and honest woman, not only was i disgusted by lisa article, but i was also taken back. Lisa's article was ignorant, sexist, discriminating, and immature. i am truly at a loss for words. yea lisa, the gym, girlfriends, nails, and showing skin is REALLY going to make you feel better about yourself...but heaven forbid you get a tattoo...which is true art, stories, and memories, you are destroying a sacred temple yea? and botox and boob jobs are natural, right? idiot.

    i hope for lisa's sake, she educates herself and sees the beauty of a BRAIN not LOOKS before reproducing...

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  131. Great response, Danielle. I can't believe that article is even real.

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  132. good job! I was beyond horrified when I read that article. Tattoos or not, just her opinion on what makes a woman 'classy' is so 1950's it's ridiculous. Lets not teach girls to be independent, smart, driven or be individuals. That's a crazy notion.

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  133. well written, danielle. Lisa: way to compare a woman's body to a ferrari. you are a disgrace to women out there. I'm glad to know that you think as long as you have nice nails, a great body, girl friends, and good hair...your life is complete. well jack ass, what if you have nice nails, a great body, girl friends, good hair and tattoo's? did you think of that? you don't want pretty girls to destroy their pretty temples with tattoos, but i bet your pro breast augmentations and botox...what does that do to your body, lisa? alter it. like tattoos.

    true beauty is in the eye of the beholder....not the judger.
    super disappointed in you, Lisa.

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  134. Well said! I am going to (shamefully) admit that, before I started ready your Tattoo Tuesday posts, I was subconsciously judgemental toward people with tattoos. I honestly didn't mean to be. I simply haven't been around a lot of people who are tattooed (which I know is strange these days, but that's the honest truth). Sadly, I would often fail to see the person behind the tattoos and, though I do not share the feelings of Lisa Khoury one iota, I just didn't get why people would get tattoos. Your blog has opened my eyes and my mind to the world of tattoos, giving me a better understanding of it. Though I am still too chicken and indecisive to ever consider getting a tattoo, I have an appreciation for why people get them and how beautiful they can be. Thanks!

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  135. I could not have said it any better, thank you so much!

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  136. Wow Wow Wow! Beautifully written and so powerful. I personally don't have any tattoos, but I find them beautiful, artistic and a wonderful way for people to express themselves.

    http://shannonhearts.blogspot.com/

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  137. ohh man my jaw is still open from reading her 'article'. i don't even have any tatoos and feel insulted by what she said. what an ignorant person.

    love what you had to say about it.

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  138. You tell em! You tell the world! I don't have tattoos and probaly won't ever get one (my husband doesn't care for them, which I argue with him about all the time, lol) but I LOVE them on other people. The woman that wrote that article is just ridiculous.

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  139. This response was executed perfectly! As a heavily tattooed young woman, of course I was put off and offended by the things she wrote, simply because they were so ludicrous and there was obviously no research put into; just simply bias. I couldn't help but laugh at her close mindedness and comment on the subject on my blog, here:
    http://perfectshadesofgrey.tumblr.com/post/16912067133/dont-tell-me-you-love-me-news-editor-says-tattoos-are

    Honestly, it's just another example of someone's ignorance getting the best of them! Thanks for taking women back some fifty years, Lisa. We all do appreciate it! Way to go Danielle, this response was eloquent and RIGHT on the money.
    -Another intelligent, successful, tattooed female.

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  140. Ooh, girl... I just did a slow clap in my office. Bravo!

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  141. Danielle, you, are f*cking amazing.

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  142. That article is bananas. Your response is perfect. Lisa has a lot to learn.

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  143. a brilliant argument against a truely ridiculous one! i will wear my one tattoo with pride because it means something to me, because i got it for me and not to make men drool!

    " "what's more attractive than a girl with a nice body?" A girl with a brain, Lisa Khoury. A girl with a brain who uses it and who knows that all women don't belong in a box, especially a box drawn by someone using sexism and ignorance to make their point. That's attractive." this part of your post made me smile from ear to ear

    Thank you!

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  144. Loved reading this. Some people are just so small minded!

    Im a new follower from just.things.lovely.

    Allice

    tutulands.blogspot.com

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  145. Coming from a Judeo-Christian family background, tattoos have become forbidden and are taboos and are stuff convicts are made of. Well, not anymore. And never again. Because they have enhanced the identity I have crafted through the years - and I gladly am excited to get buried with them in my coffin in my life's end. They're they only jewelry and art I can take to the grave. And guess what? My Pacific Islander ancestors wore them PROUDLY.

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  146. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  147. By the way, she had a wrong concluding sentence that begins with "God...". Not everyone who wears tattoos believe in her "God." At least I can speak for the Bornean heavily tattooed Iban men - who by the way are the amazing HEADHUNTERS in the Bornean rainforest. (sorry for the deletion above, I had to delete it as I meant to modify my response)

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  148. YES YES YES! Wanted to jump up screaming and clapping I read this. So well put and exactly what I wanted to say (but was too angry to articulate). Thank you for this.

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  149. One of the many reasons I'm proud to call you my friend Mrs Hampton. Well said, I'm happy you continue to give heavily tattooed ladies a positive view with class and intelligence

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  150. i think i'm echoing most of the other comments here, but well said. i kept thinking her article was satirical...surely no one with the ability to be published actually thinks like that?! wow. way to respond with class and intelligence. homegirl needs an attitude adjustment and an invitation to 2012.

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  151. First off: Great response, Danielle. Couldn't agree more.
    As someone who is female and has longed to be able to learn how to tattoo and become a professional, I found this woman's writing to be disturbing in that it not only sets back tattooed women, but ALL women.

    However I am incredibly suspicious of her motives for posting such an obviously horrific item.
    It is an unfortunate product of the Internet; writers get paid not only based on their work but on page hits, and ad revenue. It is more likely to draw readers to heinous articles and editorials, so these are selected for their outrageousness (sp?) when it comes to publishing decisions.

    In short, part of me thinks she's trolling.
    So she's now setting back all women AND journalism.
    It's a terrible shame, women giving women a hard time for everything under the sun...and to make a buck.

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  152. Hi Danielle,
    I haven't gotten to YOUR article yet but I did read hers (and i have to leave in a couple minutes from work so I'll read yours later) but MY GOODNESS!!
    WHO IS THIS WOMAN?!

    That was the most ARRAGONT and RUDE and OPINIONATED article I have ever read?! What is it to her what other people decide to do to their bodies?

    I, myself, don't have any tattoos and have no intention on getting them but that's only because I don't have an interest in them. I'm not going to start lecturing the world saying that people who decide to get tattoos have no class and in order to make them feel better about themselves they should go to a gym?!?!?

    It's the same thing as enjoying baking, cross stitching, watching hours of TV, writing, hairstyling, whatever. It's an interest or has a meaning.

    You, for example, obviously have a high interest in tattoos. But that doesn't mean that you have no class, are insecure, and don't appreciate yourself. It's just an interest like any other damn thing.

    Ugh that article made me so mad.

    I'll read your blog post later! haha

    bye!

    -Jessica

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  153. Well said. I don't have tattoo's and am not brave enough to make a decision that will stay with me forever, but i admire those that do. Lisa doesn't have to like them and nobody is asking her to, but publishing these comments are cruel and unneccesary.

    Lisa's article just reads as young and naive and i hope oneday she grows up and learns what life is really about.

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  154. Shared this with everyone in my office. We all agree with you, Danielle! Beautifully said!

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  155. You are awesome. <3 Glad you so eloquently rebutted.

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