Thursday, March 29, 2012

Father & Son


Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.

Sometimes there will be these moments of bright clarity in the middle of play. I'll see Hank and Henry together, smiles and laughter, the sheer joy they bring to each others' lives so apparent, and it stops me dead in my tracks. Hank is a great man; he is kind, compassionate, loving, and truly sees the joy in every little thing. And because of all that and more, he is a wonderful father. Seeing the man I love as a parent has been one of the most beautiful things about becoming a mother, and it's the little moments like the one captured above, that I live for.

Growing up I dated a lot. I dated all sorts of guys; nice guys, overly nice guys, fun guys, some not-so-fun guys, and a handful of jerks too. When I was much younger, and before I figured out that I was worth being made a priority, I found myself trying to make something out of nothing a few too many times. But I wised up, I figured it out. I started to look at my parents' relationship, happily married for 30+ years, and I thought about who I wanted to end up with, what he would be like.

Before I met Hank I had sworn off serious relationships. I was 21 and enjoyed being "free"- I loved dating and preferred to do as I pleased, without taking into consideration anyone else as a major part of my life outside my family and friends. But my entire world shifted when I met my future husband, and suddenly here was someone that I could almost immediately see in my future, as scary as that seemed in the moment.

Those years went by so quickly- we fell in love, I relocated to his small town, we moved in together, we got engaged. And there is one thing I remember so distinctly from our engagement party, a specific moment that stands out above all of the laughter and stories and food we shared that night.  A good friend of mine pulled me aside and told me that her mother once said to her, "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." She wanted to share this with me because she knew that any son of ours would be as wonderful as the best guy we all knew, and she was so happy and excited for our future together.

I think back to this day often, and that quote has stayed with me through the years. Every time I see Hank and Henry kicking a soccer ball, playing with blocks in the middle of the living room, or even reading a story together, I'm reminded. I see my little man trying to emulating my big man- trying on his shoes, the "dada dada dada," the way he lights up when Hank comes in the door after work. And sometimes, I'll see that little twinkle in Henry's eye when he's about to do something funny and I am reminded 100% of his sweet father. Henry is so young, but I can already see how kind he is, how warm and affectionate his heart is, and how silly and fun his spirit can be. It's amazing. I'm raising a boy who is going to be just like the man I married, and for this, I couldn't be happier.

41 comments:

  1. I love this post - I have a little boy just turned one and I can completely relate to what you say. I love to see my husband and my son playing together, and seeing my husband coming out in our baby is a magical thing. I always thought about becoming a mother in terms of myself and the changes in my life ,but it is so amazing to see my baby building relationships with the people I love, and to see my parents as grandparents, my sisters as aunts, and my boy as the focus of so much love. Thanks for posting this, it is always good to be reminded to be grateful, life is good!

    Amy Xxx

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  2. This is such a sweet post. You are so lucky to have this wonderful family! I can only hope for the same for me. It is so great to see a lady so proud of her husband!
    Amy xo

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  3. That is beautiful.

    Also, it's funny. I recently left a 3,5 year relationship; and the very simplified reason as to why, is that I would not have been happy or proud to have a son 'just like him'. That is oversimplifying it, of course; because I did love this man, and had looked at him as husband-to-be pretty much from the moment we met, but I did realise, after someone shared that quotation with me, that I did not want to marry him. I loved the idea of him, but couldn't marry him.

    All of that to say that this is beautiful; and that I am so happy that you found that someone, and that your heart bursts with joy and love when you see them together. That's a beautiful thing to have.


    (Also, hello! I've been following your blog for a while, but have not commented before :) )

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  4. This is truly beautiful. :) I love it.

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  5. Well thanks, now I'm going to cry.
    But seriously... I had heard this quote as well. And growing up, I dated the same range of guys you said that you did. Decent guys, jerks, nice guys, overly nice guys... But it was totally different with my husband. And seeing our two year old boy growing up and trying to be just like Daddy... it means the world because I've never met a better man than my husband. And I'm so thrilled for his wife or husband one day - he'll make a great husband.

    :)

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  6. "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him."

    That is the single best piece of advice I believe I have EVER read.

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  7. that quote is going to always be on my mind :)

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  8. Brilliant advice! Thanks for sharing it! x

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  9. You have to stop making my cry with your sweet posts!!! Maybe its because I am a mama of a boy to? ;-)

    I had someone tell me the same exact thing when I was engaged to Scott, and I knew with all my heart I would be honored to have a son just like my husband. I even cried the moment the sonogram tech stopped at an image and I knew it was a boy, I knew I was carrying our Judah and he was going to be just as compassionate and caring as his dad, always giving to others and possibly a little feisty firecracker like his mama :-) and sure enough he is. I love watching Judah try to mimic his daddy and although Im still waiting to hear him consistently say "mama" my heart melts that he loves screaming "Dadeee"

    we were blessed with good husbands and great sons
    xo

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  10. Beautiful post that couldn't have come at a better time! I'm getting married in two months and that quote spoke so loudly to me, my fiancé will be a wonderful father and I hope we will be lucky enough to have a son like him someday!

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  11. What a great post!! And I couldn't agree more with that quote - unfortunately my first husband was a jerk and abusive and I was literally scared of having a boy because I was afraid he might be like him. My husband now is absolutely amazing and I can say without a doubt I would be so proud to have a son like him and am glad I have such an amazing partner to make that happen.

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  12. This is absolutely beautiful and such a great reminder to many of us. Thank you for sharing this! :)

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  13. This is a beautiful post! I love reading about how amazing being a mother to a little boy is, and even better how amazing your husband is!! I am currently carrying our first son with only a couple more weeks to go, and I can't wait to see my husband become a father, I know he's going to be amazing, and can't wait to see our little guy grow up with the same morals and compassion as my husband :-)

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  14. That quote is so, so perfect. Thank you for sharing it! You have such a beautiful family!

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  15. Such a sweet post! IU love that message too, such a great little piece of wisdom!
    You're a lucky woman!

    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

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  16. Thank you for sharing that quote - I had to pin it to be sure to remember it!

    I have similar feelings towards my husband and our foster son. While he's not my husband's biological son, I see Noah emulate my husband's behavior and it makes me so proud to know that his life will be impacted by the great man I married.

    My little post on how fatherhood has brought out the best qualities in my husband -
    http://noahbabyblog.com/post/9704177422/until-there-was-you

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  17. That is seriously such a profound quote. It is really true. I got married way too young to the wrong guy and I didn't really think about how he would affect offspring. Luckily, I divorced and although our son has a better chance of not being a not so great guy. I wish I had heard this sooner! Now, I am with a fabulous guy that I am excited to have children with and pass down hopefully our good qualities :)

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  18. I love this post! I'm almost 27, but I'm at that point where I feel like I need to be "free" for a little while, and then maybe the pieces will start to fall into place. And this post gives me some inspiration!

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  19. This is a very sweet post and I couldn't agree more. I just love that photo of Hank and Henry.

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  20. This is such a great post, and the quote "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him" is something I'm glad I heard. Thanks!

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  21. I know exactly how you feel. Those really are the best moments to witness as a mother to a young little man.

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  22. Can you stop writing posts which give me goosebumps please?! Yet again a beautiful post and you're truly lucky to have such a loving family. That advice has to be some of the best I've heard in a long time xxxx

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  23. What a beautiful, well written post. I never heard that bit of advice before, and I'll definitely carry it with me for a while. Thanks!

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  24. That quote blew my mind. That is an excellent point. EXCELLENT point. I think every parent should remind their kids about that.

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  25. what a great quote, that holds so much truth! also, what an adorable family : )

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  26. My only child is a girl, but I know exactly what you mean. I see her daddy in her, and vice versa, and my world is completely perfect in those moments. Thanks for a beautiful post!

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  27. what a beautiful post, Dani. <3 I love that quote that your friend shared with you. so true.

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  28. This is such great advice. And with my little man only a week old, I can proudly say I couldn't be happier if he turned out exactly like my husband. Ok maybe I am hoping he will be able to actually get his clothes in the washing basket but everything else, you know. :)

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  29. I love that quote. I am definitely going to remember it. :)

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  30. Thank you for sharing this Danielle. These are the words that describe the feeling I get everytime I see my husband Dave and son Frank together....their bond is unbelievable and I do want my son to grow up exactly like his Pa :) oh and I often wonder if you chose the name Henry because it starts with an H too? You guys are all so lovely and my husband and I (even my Ma!) enjoy the blog so much :)

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  31. what a adorable post. Love that quote and love the photo. Am in love with your blog. xx

    http://dandelionsandkisses.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/flowers-tea-partys-and-fairy-hunting.html

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  32. You are blessed indeed! Beautiful post.

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  33. i love this post so much danielle! i also dated a lot, but when i finally met danny, i knew from the very first minute that he was the one. and then when he met alanna (she was 7 then), and they were instant friends, the deal was sealed! haha, actually, the very first thing they did together was hide and then spray me with a squirt gun as i entered the room. i knew that if he was so good to her, this young girl that he had never even met before, then he was perfect for us. aren't we the lucky ones?! you and i. <3

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  34. "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him."

    So true, and I am thankful that I do have a man like that in my life.

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  35. My father is The god for me and i can die for my Father and i can do everything for my Father my father is everything for me.......I love u PAPA G....

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  36. I feel so blessed, I married the best man that fits this word 'don't marry a man, unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him .benben

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  37. Exact content copied by KATHLEEN MARCELO-TABLAN on her facebook account as her photo caption. Copyright infringement!

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