Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Dream a little dream...

H for Henry

While I was pregnant I had these ideas in my head of certain moments, these particular instances that I daydreamed about again and again. I thought about bringing our baby home from the hospital on that very first day, I imagined what it would be like to hold him in my arms and rock him to sleep, I thought a lot about reading books and singing songs and just looking down at that tiny face I hadn't yet met. There were so many little dreams- dreams of first laughs, first steps, and even just visions of simple, quiet moments.

But daydreams and preconceived notions aside, nothing prepares you for those moments actually coming to life. The sheer beauty and magnitude of the feelings that overwhelm you when you do hear your baby laugh for the first time, the excitement of seeing those first steps, the first words, the feel of the peaceful, dim room as you rock your baby to sleep, putting him to bed, in disbelief that you could ever love him more...and that daily surprise as you wake to that sunshine-face the next morning and found that your heart has somehow doubled in size overnight, again (and again and again).

The other afternoon Hank and I went into Henry's room to check on him. It was the end of his nap and he was sleeping so soundly, curled up with his bum in the air, mouth open. Hank and I stared down at him, smack dab in the middle of one of those little moments in life that you know will always be something special to you, the kind you try so hard to file away in your mind. There he was, our sleeping Henry, half of me and half of Hank, a perfect mix of us both. And I thought about how somehow in this crazy universe, two people from two different places were in the same place at the same time, fell in love and had a baby. And now, almost eight years after that first summer date there we were, looking down at our son as he slept. It one of those times as a parent that you do daydream about - one of those times I absolutely envisioned the moment I got pregnant- and there we were in its reality, reveling in its beautiful simplicity, whispering, "we made this, this is our son." And so I pressed pause for just a second, taking it all in, thinking about how crazy it was to be right here in Henry's room, living this little dream I had always wished for.

Sleeping Henry 4/11/12
Sleeping Henry 4/11/12

34 comments:

  1. My partner and I find ourselves in my daughters room at night quite a lot. Watching her sleep, looking at her and thinking, both at the same time, "we created this little human".
    She still blows me away!

    Thanks for this little reminder.
    Especially now that she is 2 and causing chaos as I type this! ;)

    Louise xo

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  2. So sweet. I'm currently pregnant with our first, and I so look forward to moments like these....and how beautifully written. One of my very favorite posts.

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  3. Oh Dani, this post just made my heart leap.

    I was just thinking today as we met Scott for an early lunch to watch the spaceship land at Dulles airport, this is how I imagined being a mom. But the beauty of motherhood is amplified a billion more times than my heart could ever imagine because I never in my life thought I could love my son as much as I do. I never thought that we would all be standing together as a family with hundreds of other people cheering the space shuttle as it flew over us. Just watching Judah with his cheesy smile in his proud daddys arms. I just wanted to capture it all in my heart because being a mother is way better than I have ever expected it to be.

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  4. Awe so sweet :) I'm looking forward to those days.

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  5. I am expecting my first baby in July, and reading this has made me realise even more how exciting and scarey this journey has been and will be. I cannot wait to have moments like you describe. Thank you for shareing this with me x

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  6. Those moments are the best. I catch myself finding them ever single day and willing myself to remember...

    Kacie

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  7. I love this post. I'm so looking forward to this for myself. You are so good at verbalizing feelings :)

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  8. It's so true. And so overwhelming when they are finally in the world and your dreams start coming true with them in it.

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  9. I love this. I love those little moments that take your breath away because you've been imagining and waiting and hoping for this moment and now it's here and it's thousands of times better than you thought it would be. These pictures are so sweet. You have such a lovely family.

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  10. Danielle, this caught my breath and brought tears to my eyes. Lovely moment.

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  11. Ooooh Danielle, my oldest is 11, and my husband and I still "gaze" every night!!!

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  12. Loved this. Our son is almost 4, and I still love to watch him sleep. He climbs in our bed most nights, and as he drifts off to sleep next to me, I always strain to see him in the dark. I'm totally besotted and love it.

    This post also reminded me of being pregnant, not knowing whether we where going to have a boy or girl, and I had this vivid daydream of a little boy in dungarees playing at the top of our stairs. It was strange to have such a clear picture of a son, and needless to say watching him play has always been a joy.

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  13. Oh my! That cute little sleeping face! :)

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  14. beautiful, and so sweet. what a wonderful moment.

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  15. I have these moments with my husband all the time. Amazing!

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  16. This post made my heart so happy.

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  17. That is so sweet and beautiful! I can't wait for these moments...

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  18. A lovely post and I really relate! My husband thinks it's funny that I have quite a collection of sleeping photos taken of our girl over the past 6 years. It's as if they couldn't get any more gorgeous and then you see them asleep : )

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  19. that's amazing. i love your words! and you make me that much more excited about being a parent one day and sharing it all with my honey. xo!

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  20. crying. you make me excited to be a mom someday. <3

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  21. what a beautiful post. i know EXACTLY what you mean and can relate 100%. Just this afternoon I went to get my almost 7 mo old out of the crib and she was sound asleep. I watched her dreaming, thumb in her mouth, bum in the air, little feet curled together over a plush block. I was in awe. I loved her more in that moment than I ever had before.

    It's an amazing life isn't it? Many blessings to you!

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  22. i love love love looooove reading your posts. every day i am in awe at how much i love my son and the amazing things he is learning and doing... he sleeps like that too :)
    you are amazing and your words are exactly how i feel.

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  23. Those moments are the best. Especially with the swooshed lips.

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  24. you certainly have a way with words. Such a beautiful moment.

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  25. Your writing is beautiful and posts like this make me wish even more to become a mom one day :)

    xo Sari

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  26. I want to compliment your writing and say how much it makes me excited to one day be a wife and mother too, but I feel like everyone's already said that in all the comments!

    So I just want to say how adorable your son is and how sweet your little family is and beautiful!

    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

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  27. It's pretty amazing to watch your dreams turn into reality, no? I loved reading this piece. And, I have to admit, I'm stoked to watch the babe #2 journey, when that time comes.

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  28. oh, sleeping babies. Nothing can beat that beauty!

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  29. Lovely post and so true to remember in all the madness of being a parent

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