Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Somewhere Between the Black Bean Salad and the Fried Goat Cheese: A Post About Love

We'll retake this photo again when we're 80.

I feel like I'm a pretty weird person. I mean, I know we're all pretty weird but I sometimes think about how weird I am and how lucky I feel to have found someone else in this big, wide world who gets me. I remember reading a quote somewhere that talked about how we just need to find someone whose weirdness is compatible with our own. And then we fall into this sort of mutual weirdness and call it love. Or something like that. I feel so lucky though to have found my weird counterpart. The person who laughs at all of my cheesy jokes, who gets my sarcastic humor, accepts my often mercurial moods, and who has no problem just sitting and being, and not always talking.

Hank and I have been together for 8 years next month and while it seems like a lifetime, it also seems like it's gone by in the blink of an eye. That's the craziness of love I suppose; I imagine I'll feel the same way when we're 80, wondering where all the time went, but also looking back on a lifetime of so much joy and thinking, "wow, look at everywhere we've been." I feel lucky to have met Hank when we were both so young. We grew up together in a sense, and the older I get, the luckier I feel that we grew together and not apart. We're both so different from the youngsters that met on that August afternoon. Life has gone on and we've changed and changed (and changed), but even with those differences we're still those same two kids. Those same two kids, still crazy in love. And now there's three of us.

When Henry came into our lives I knew things would change. We've always had this attitude of "Team Hampton," cheesy as it sounds, but it's just how it is. We're a team, on each others' side always, supporting and helping one another, pushing each other to succeed and do our best. And although adding a baby into our little family (our team!) was hard at times, especially those nights where Henry would cry and cry, and I would be snappy and annoyed at Hank for one reason or another...it still was okay because we were this unit, working together and getting it done. But oh, those crazy nights. We got through those first months though, and of course things got easier.

Our focus shifted somewhere around Henry's 6 month mark. Oh! We need to make time for us! And so we got back into our dating routine, remembering to make time for one another, even if it was just enjoying three hours on the couch at the end of the night, laughing together at Curb Your Enthusiasm and sharing a bowl of popcorn. And now that Henry is almost 2 years old, making time for one another is much easier. I look forward to these special nights we get to spend together. I enjoy getting dolled up a bit, and enjoy the anticipation of a delicious meal.

The other night we had one of those special evenings- a rare "leave the house" kind of date night, and there was a moment during dinner that I kind of sat back for a moment and took it in. We're all grown up, married and parents, and on a date away from our son who is happily playing at his grandparents. Sometimes I'm hit with these realizations at the strangest times, and they're so poignant and real that I'm almost blindsided. I am happy. And it's not that I haven't always been happy, but this is it, my life, my family, my husband. And it's good. I'm so thankful for it and so grateful for this life that at times I don't even know how to convey it in this space without overdoing it. But in that moment, sandwiched somewhere between the black bean salad and the fried goat cheese, a little tiny piece of me exhaled and sent a tiny "thank you" into the universe. Life is good.

47 comments:

  1. Happy early anniversary! My husband and I will be celebrating 8 years of marriage in a few months and I have those moments once in a while too, where you think "wow, I am really a grown up parent". It's a very happy feeling.

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    1. Thank you so much Amanda! I sometimes think we're silly for celebrating our "first date" anniversary but we still do it! Happy anniversary to you guys too. Lots of love. <3

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  2. Loved this, Dani. Thank you for sharing. Marriage is such a rewarding union, but requires work and gratitude and cultivation and attention! So glad (and not at all surprised) to hear that you are giving it all of that and more. :) Love you guys. xoxo

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    1. Thank you! Did you notice it's actually two photos side by side?

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    2. whoa, I had to go back and look again, I thought it was one picture. It's cute because you talk about now and when you guys will be 80.. and I totally could see a similar picture sitting in white rockers when you're 80 :) It would be awesome to take another one then then have this to look back on. Pretty cute :)


      (we're going to my fiancé's grandparents 65th anniversary in a month and a half and they're adorable. It's inspiring, as are posts like these)

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  4. Oh, what a wonderful story! I love the team idea. I think dating your spouse is so, so important!
    Oh, and fried goat cheese sounds a little bit like the best thing that's ever happened. =]

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    1. Thanks Sara! When you guys find your way out here again you HAVE to go to El Gato Azul. That cheese it to die for.

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    2. I can't do the fried stuff because I'm gluten free... but I can certainly make some at home!

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  5. The quote is from Dr. Seuss! I just came across it the other day.

    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love"

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  6. I feel so happy and inspired whenever you talk about how happy and content you are with your own family. I am only 21 but I am looking forward to finally meeting the perfect partner for me!! :-)

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    1. Oh Karina, that's so sweet. Thank you for leaving such a nice comment. Wishing you the very best. :)

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  7. I love this. We got married Saturday and I'm already thinking my lifetime isn't long enough...

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    1. Laura that's great! Congratulations! And I totally feel you on that...

      <3

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  8. Beautiful :) Happy early Anniversary! Robbie and I will celebrate 10 years together in December, and like you that number just totally shocks me as it feels simultaneously shorter and longer than that. :) Very happy for you guys.

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    1. 10 years?! Wow! That's awesome lady! So happy for you guys too.

      xo

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  9. beautifully put.
    what a lovely, sweet post.

    xx

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  10. oh dani. i just adore you. well said, ladyfriend!
    xo

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  11. I totally know what you mean about growing together and that's probably because my husband and I had our first kiss just over 8 years ago, so it sounds like we've been together with our dudes for about the same time. It's crazy for me to look back at who we were when we started dating, and I'm very proud of who we are now as parents and folks that have been married for 6.5 years. anyway, congrats on enjoying your adult life! it seems like life is good for you guys

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  12. Beautiful. The photo and the tribute to love make me wanna' holla' a hell yeah!
    How lovely to have met so young. My husband and I met later than we would have liked and frequently wish we could have lived more of each other's lives together. But then we wonder would we have been the right kind of people? Both having changed so much over the previous years and we just try to be super grateful for the time we have had and focus more on future adventures. The changing together thing is so important, to allow each other to be who we need to be and still maintain "team CheCiara" (high five to cheesiness). Nice to know it can be done :) Ciara

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  13. I love this. So much so I am sorta, kinda, maybe tearing up a little (insert blushing face here, haha). That stuff about finding someone who matches and compliments our own weirdness with their own, is so spot on, I think. My guy gets my weirdness (mostly), I get his (mostly). It makes for a nice, weird-filled life of best friendship.

    I'm so happy you found your Hank and that you are happy. It's lovely to see people express their genuine happiness about their life because lately I've been hearing the opposite.

    xo

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  14. I thought this was an absolutely wonderful post.

    Someone yesterday tried to say that she thought people who got married in their 20s didn't really know what life was, and I had to say that, surely if you found the person who you wanted to be with, it didn't matter your age. You saying that you grew together is a great example. I can't wait to get married in the next few months and start another chapter with my partner in crime.

    You write beautifully.


    Xxxx
    www.fleurst-rate.blogspot.com

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  15. I have to be honest and say I usually dislike posts about love and such because they are SO cheesy, but this one is just perfect and so real. I think that's exactly how you're supposed to feel about your significant other. Happy early anniversary!

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  16. I loved this- my husband and I have been together for over 9 years now and it really is a blur. It is a special kind if luck to find that personthat you truly connect with.

    Our son turns 2 November 25th and we still have yet to have a babysitter though and no family around... We have time to ourselves at night but yeah still working on that whole 'out if the house alone' thing.

    Congrats on such a sweet life :) Lilly

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  17. Awh, what a sweet post:D Love the way you put the two pics together at the top. I didn't spot that until I saw your comment and then I was like, 'Oh obviously!'x

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  18. Happy early anniversary, Danielle!
    It's great to have someone who can share and understand mutual weirdness. i love this post

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  19. We're totally a "Team" family, too! I love it!

    My husband and I just celebrated 11 years together, 6 married and I am in the midst of writing "The Story of Us." I am so in love with writing our story, remembering all we've done, all we've been through, how far we've come. Together.

    And I find myself having many of those exhale moments lately. How lucky am I to have found such an amazing man who not only puts up with my crazy, he LOVES it?

    Happy anniversary, Team Hampton!


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  20. So beautiful, every time you share a slice of your life on here you make me see the best parts of life, even the good amongst the bad. Thank you

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  21. Aw, you guys are so cute. Happy Anniversary. I'm so glad your found your compatibly weird companion! :-)

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  22. Happy early Anniversary! I really liked this post. Being newly engaged I love reading/hearing advice from happily married couples who have figured out how to make it work. I actually just started a weekly post about love advice. Check it out! http://mccfisch.blogspot.com/

    Erin

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  23. Such a sweet post! You look lovely n that picture!
    http://perfectimperfectionsjournal.blogspot.com/

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  24. Awww.. I love this post! Reading this post about love actually made me reminisce my own love story with Glenn! :-) Isn't it amazing how everything just falls into place? <3 We have been together for just a year and a half but each and everyday, I just fall inlove with him even more! :-)


    xoxo
    Ida

    http://asplashofida.blogspot.com

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  25. Wow, that is so beautifully written. I know exactly how you feel. Yesterday, my boyfriend and I marked six years since he asked if he could "call me his girlfriend". It goes by in the blink of an eye yet it feels like a lifetime. And we are FINALLY looking for our first apartment. It's as if my life before him is so far away, I barely remember what it's like not to hear his voice each day. I'm so happy for you and your family. Reading this post gives me so much to look forward to with Shane. Last night on the way home, I looked over at him driving and thought about how fortunate I am. He gets all my nerdy/sarcastic/pop culture references. He never gives me that 'duh' look that so many people when I say something off the wall. I am so happy to have this life with my best friend. Thank you so much for sharing. You are an inspiration and I look forward to all of your posts.

    Ashley Wolfe
    twitter & instagram: kdktwelve

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  26. i just wanted to let you know that your hair color is absolutely gorgeous on you. good call!

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  27. Seriously teary-eyed over here! You write so beautifully Danielle and I ca feel the love you share with Hank and Henry through each word. Happy (Almost) Anniversary and cheers to many more years of "thank-you's" to the universe.

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  28. Aw, this is so sweet! I love it, and I can tell you absolutely love your family. Here's to many, many more years as Team Hampton!

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  29. Congrats to you and Hank! This was so awesome to read and something I totally needed right now. I too married young, but instead of growing up together, I grew up and he stayed a kid. Now after being divorced for 3 years (and still alone) it's hard to believe that there is real love out there. But reading this makes me realize that it does really exist. Thanks so much, I kinda needed this to restore my hope in love.

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  30. This is such a beautiful post! I love how candid and warm this is. You give me hope that someday, some weird man will make me feel the way you feel about your husband. Thanks so much for sharing. This warmed my heart.

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  31. This is such a wonderfull read to start off my day! Congratulations on everything you two (then three!) have built and long live the love you share!

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  32. Yeah, I totally get you. That's exactly the same i think when i see me with my boy. I'm not married yet and I do'nt know how being a mama feels like but I will share my life with my partner very soon after 9 years together and when I think about it...oh my gosh "It's so weird being weird and finding your specially-for-you weird couple".
    Lovely post Danielle.
    It's always a great pleasure reading your blog.
    Sofia.

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  33. Beautifully written! Reminds me of the feelings I have about my relationship. My boyfriend and I will be together 7 years next month, and I am so looking forward to having our own family team together. I really enjoy your blog; thank you for sharing!

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  34. Oh how wonderful this is to read! So happy for you!

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  35. The quote you're remembering is from Dr. Seuss. This is a wonderful post about being content. And remembering to appreciate that contentment. Good for you!

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  36. Your blog has quickly become one of my favorites. I think it's because I relate so much to the things you write. I read the first two sentences of this post and thought "Exactly!" I think that so often. How did I find a person who, out of all the people in this world, loves me for me?! It's hard to comprehend, but it's a really nice thought.

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