Sunday, March 10, 2013
An Owner's Manual
Sometimes I feel like I'm just an overgrown toddler. I get insanely moody when hungry (see also: bratty, irritable), I need at least 8 hours of sleep at night, perform best when I'm hydrated, eat healthy food the majority of the time (with some treats thrown in here and there) and expend energy during the day through moving my body some way or another. I know myself pretty well, so when I start to feel out of whack I can usually pinpoint it to a lack of one of these things.
When I started CrossFit this past August I was SO into it. I loved it, and was especially excited that I was doing so many new things and working out in new ways. The more I did it, the more I loved it. But a few weeks went by and once Fall hit I started to feel a little weird- it's hard to put my finger on it, but I just felt "blah" in a season where I usually feel so alive. I fell out of love with blogging, rarely sat down to write, and felt like I almost always had a mental block when it came to pen and paper, or fingers to keyboard. It was odd, because writing and sharing are two of my biggest outlets, but for whatever reason I had lost my spark. I figured it was me still feeling a little off post-baby (even though it had been two years!) and tried to get excited about writing while searching my slow-moving brain for ideas. I just felt uninspired.
So when I got pregnant 4 months ago I decided to stop going to CrossFit. I restarted my normal routine and I began waking up again at 5:30am and getting (sometimes dragging) myself to the gym. At first it was so difficult to get back into the swing of things and get up so early, especially in the first trimester when I was already exhausted. Some mornings I couldn't do it, but most mornings I could, and everyday it got a little easier.
About a week into waking up early, I started noticing that my mind felt a lot clearer; sharper even. I was finding myself doing that old very familiar thing where I'd jot down idea after idea about writing and blogging into the notes section of my phone as I was doing cardio. And then just this week it hit me- this is what I had been missing. I never put two and two together because I was still working out at CrossFit everyday, but what I'd been missing is ME time.
At CrossFit you work out in a group, no one wears headphones and it's a fairly social time since most everyone is friends- more than anything it's a huge community. And although I enjoyed going everyday, I never really got to unplug, and zone out for awhile like I always had before. I didn't realize that my thinking time is my cardio and weights time. And because I wasn't getting too much of that on my own, I wasn't getting too much thinking time either.
It's weird how we learn little things about ourselves- little things we'd add to an owner's manual of our own if we could. If you would have asked me before what some of the core things I needed to "run smoothly," I'd cite some of that first paragraph up there, but now I know I need a little more. I need time for me, everyday if possible, even 15 minutes on a walk outside, where I can put on my headphones, listen to music I love, and zone out. More than anything, my brain needs it. It's so funny to me- who knew that CrossFit was bad for blogging? ;)
Do you have any MUSTS in your owner's manual?