Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Good, Old-Fashioned Update

Coney Island 2012
So this photo has absolutely nothing to do with anything below, but I was looking through some photos from last summer earlier and came across this one taken at Coney Island and it made me so happy. It was taken the week I spent with Emily in NYC, and she took me to Coney one day so I could check it out. I loved it. I didn't snap one photo this weekend that would make sense for this post, so random Coney Island photo it is!

I wanted to take some photos today of this belly. It's gotten so big, so fast, but the weather outside is positively gloomy, which makes for not-so-pretty pictures, even of just a belly. However I'm sitting here typing this and listening to so much rain coming down, thunder, lightning, all of it, and I'm ecstatic. This is my favorite kind of weather by far.

So how about a good, old-fashioned update?

Life is good, and believe it or not (I cannot!) Henry will be turning THREE this fall. Now, I know that "this fall" is a ways off, but someone this morning asked me how old he was, and usually I just say "2 and 1/2" but this time I said "3 in the fall." And then I cried inside for a second. It's a weird thing, being a parent. It's a constant yearning to stop time and freeze things but the more you focus on that the faster it all seems to go by. So for me the best thing has to just focus on the now, the stage we're in, and although this morning I had this moment of disbelief that our little guy could ever be turning three so soon, I have been doing a better job of not getting too sad about it all going by. Remind me of this when I have a newborn, and without fail I will be writing about how sad it is that that little tiny newborn stage is over with in the blink of an eye.

I don't write about Hank a super lot on this blog. I feel very lucky to have a strong marriage and to be married to my best friend. And really, what are you supposed to say when things are really good? But lately I've felt even more in love with him, if that's even possible. I keep taking a step back and just thanking the universe that I've gotten to spend the past decade of my life with him and to be able to spend the rest of our lives doing the same. To know him is to love him, and the longer we are together the more and more I realize just how lucky we are to have found each other in this crazy world. And see? This is why I don't write about it too much. I think sometimes I just feel uncomfortable going on and on about something I like to keep close to my heart. But sometimes I do think it's good to shout it to the rooftops.

But something not so good? My Grandma, Nanny, has been getting more and more ill following a heart surgery she had recently, and this past weekend she was taken yet again to the emergency room. She has pneumonia in both lungs, and on Saturday hospice was set to meet with her and my parents but just like it's happened every time, she suddenly started getting stronger again. She's a tank, this woman! She also happens to be my last living grandparent, and the one relative I've always been the closest to. I have the very best memories of her. I grew up spending lots and lots of time with her and my Grandpa, and then after he passed away, she moved from NJ to live with us in AZ. She's lived with my Mom and Dad ever since (I was 15 at the time), and I'm sure you can imagine what a part of our daily life and world she is. I can't imagine life without her.

So yes, life is both good and bad at this current moment, as life usually is. A little of both. It's interesting to me to be caught in this place right now, to have one hand on the pulse of an end of a beautiful life, and another bringing someone into this world. Right in the middle. Charlie is due to arrive in a little over 6 weeks and as the weeks fly by I can only think of how times in my life I'll ever be here again. Never ever. So this is it, the one time my 2 and 1/2 year son will be this age as I am getting ready to have our second child, as Hank and I stay up all night talking about life and dreams and our goals, the time in our life when it feels like everything is beginning, even though we've been going for quite some time. Do you ever feel like that, like the phase you're in is a BIG thing, even though it feels so normal? I want to remember this for always.
 

24 comments:

  1. Such a sweet and touching post. Reading your blog is a pleasure, always.

    xoxo
    Taylor (madiandme.com)

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  2. I lost my last grandparent a few years back. I think of her often. I accidentally erased her house number from my cell phone and felt a heavy lump in my throat. Why I did that I don't know. Cleaning up my contacts I guess. Why I kept it in there? Guess I just liked seeing the word Grandma as I scrolled through the numbers.

    BTW, I'm finishing up a post on my blog as I took a break to read yours, titled Currently. I love your weekend links and have been attached to the currently series. Giving you a link back in them as well.

    THANKS for all of your inspiration. Have a nice night.

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    Replies
    1. Jennifer,

      I so get leaving her number in your phone. I lost a dear friend 4 years ago and until recently had left his number in my phone. I just liked seeing it in there.

      Sending you a huge hug.

      <3

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  3. I really feel for you, regarding your grandmother. Mine (also my last living grandparent and family member to whom I'm closest) turns 90 in a couple of weeks and my husband and I are flying back to the UK to see her for the first time since I emigrated to the US almost two years ago! It's so hard every time I talk to her, feeling like I'm missing out on so much, but I really cherish each bit of contact we have. Wishing your grandmother good health.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Rebecca. Safe travels to you and your husband! <3

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  4. I just had to delete some photos from my memory card.. I was running out of room.. they were already on my computer so I figured it'd be okay. Anyway, the photos were of the day Logan was born and I got very emotional. Where did the last seven months go?? I totally understand about the whole being an emotional parent when it comes to your baby growing up. It's a strange feeling and it's hard to explain, but it's in every parent.
    I am so happy for you that you're well, Henry and Hank and Charlie are well.
    I will pray for your Grandma. Life is never really the same without them, but you have to do your best to enjoy the time you have.
    xo

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it crazy how fast it goes? I made that video of Henry the other day which brought me back to my Vimeo account, and I got lost watching videos of him as a tiny baby. It seems like it all happened in the blink of an eye.

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  5. I can really resonate with what you said about your little boy getting older, I normally say my daughter is 2.5 when asked by others but recently said she is 3 in September when asked the other day, it made my heart sink a little. I am excited though to watch her keep getting bigger and her little personality developing, it blows my mind to see her figuring out the world around her! X x x

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    Replies
    1. It goes by way too quickly! I think when we stop having children I will be extra sad knowing that I'll never have a "baby" again. </3

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  6. Such a bittersweet experience, parenting...my babies will be turning ONE, sniff sniff. I totally understand-I'm hanging on to saying 11 months for dear life right now! Having a strong marriage is such a gift-sing it girl! So sorry to hear about your grandmother. xo

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  7. I just want to thank you, Danielle. I have a blog myself, but for e moment just wish to anonymously thank you. We are so, very similar. Reading, fitness, writing, the importance of family. But also, I'm recovery from some disordered eating/body image issues. Seeing you so happy and healthy gives me so much hope that my future wont be defined by my past. There is so much ahead of me, and I cant wait to discover it as you have! Xo

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    Replies
    1. Oh goodness, you are so welcome. And it makes my heart feel happy to know that I've brought you some hope. Sending you a huge hug, my anonymous friend.

      xoxo

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  8. Mortality and the circle of life ... these things have been on my mind a lot lately, too. I identified a lot with this post.

    I also had a grandma I called Nanny. We lost her to cancer more than 20 years ago, and I still miss her all the time.

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    Replies
    1. Nannies are the very best, aren't they? Love to you.

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  9. My grandma is one of my best friends, really. She is currently having heart problems, but we are catching it in the early stage. Grandmas can definitely hold special places in our hearts!

    Also, I think it's pretty great that you adore your husband and shout it from the rooftops. Everyone could use a little more happy love in their lives!

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    Replies
    1. Oh Bekah, I'm so glad they are able to catch your Grandma's heart problem early.

      Sending you a ton of love <3

      Thank you for reading and commenting!

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  10. It really is crazy how fast life goes by once you have kids, right?! My daughter will be 5 in March & I can't even believe it. I always try my best to live in the moment and sometimes find myself closing my eyes just wishing time would stop.

    I am really close with my grandmother and can't even imagine life without her and my grandfather. I can completely relate to how you feel. Sending lots of strength your way.

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  11. Wasn't sure where else to post this message, but I wanted to get it to you. I've been reading that most of the Granite Mountain Hotshots worked out at Captain Crossfit. I hope if you or your husband were close to any of them that you are okay. It's a silly thing to say in light of such a tragedy, but I really mean it. Prescott is such an amazing community, you'll all get through this.

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    1. Oh Karly thank you so much. It's been a tough week for our entire town- it's just terrible to think of all of their families. I so appreciate you reaching out like this, it means a lot. <3

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  12. without attempting to sound to cliche: I love your blog. But, really, it is so refreshing to come to a blog where someone actually writes about their life. I really enjoy your style of writing and the sincere and authentic vibe that comes through both your writing and photos. The point being: I enjoy reading your blog, keep writing, you've got the knack!
    And, super best of luck with labour (I'm a midwifery student so I have my fingers extra crossed for you :)

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  13. Love stories fascinate me :) I know it is near and dear to your heart & you can be as broad as you want, but how did you and Hank meet? And when did you know your world was forever changed?

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