Friday, August 30, 2013

Attacking the Concept of Happiness.


It's Friday, there's a monsoon kicking up outside, and both kids are fast asleep. Charlie's next to me as I type this, and Henry's napping soundly in his bed. I have so much to say about the past two weeks- adjusting, then adjusting again Monday when Hank when back to work, recovering from c-section number two- but I'll save that for an upcoming (much longer) post. I will say this though, however obvious it may be: two is so much different than one! And just looking at the past few days that I've spent basically alone with the kiddos, I'm kind of high-fiving myself because hey, I did it...and did it with a smile! I went grocery shopping, to a doctor's appointment, and managed to not get too frazzled. But out of the past five days, one has been extra-hard. The kind of day where I felt like I've had too much television on for Henry, where I felt like my patience was totally expended by 9am, and the kind of day that ended in a tiny bit of tears (oh, post-pregnancy hormones!).

But then I read that up there, and it's such a good reminder, isn't it? I try to live my life in a way that I look at things in a positive light, but to be honest, a lot of that is happiness-focused. And although I do absolutely accept that there are darker days, gray days, I think I almost gloss over those and try to really get back to happy. But the idea of wholeness? I love that. It reminds me that it's all a part of the bigger picture, even beyond the "you can't get sunshine without rain" kind of thing. It all contributes to the greater person we can become; the set backs and challenges fully being a part of that wholeness. This is something I'm already full aware of, but for some reason I've never took the time to really think about it in such a way.

I wanted to share the quote up there because it struck such a chord in me...and I'll be tucking those words away to pull out when I need it, for sure. Do you feel like you can relate to it too?

Happy weekend. I'll be back in a day or so with some links.

xoxo


24 comments:

  1. I most definitely needed to read that this week. Wishing you happiness and wholeness today. :)

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    1. Love that Sera! Wishing you happiness and wholeness too. <3

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  2. I wish someone would have given me this quote 7 years ago! I was going through a divorce and just about as miserable and beaten down as one could be... and you know what?! I was ok with it. Everyone around me was trying to force me to be "happy" or feel some emotion. All I wanted to do was fully appreciate the moment I was going through.

    When my second son was born I remember all of the feelings you state. I was too young to realize they were all ok and part of adjusting and just felt like a terrible person and mother. Thank you for being honest with your feelings and for this quote. Both amazing things to put into the world!

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  3. i remember just how hard and trying for my soul the first couple of months with two children were. my husband worked two jobs, from 8 am- 11 pm, six days a week. most days i felt like i was going at it all alone. so many days ended in tears. so many times i didn't know how much more i could take. i just had to remind myself to take it day by day. every morning was a fresh start. but yeah, those hormones don't help much either. :)

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  4. I love this. I love moving past happiness and living for wholeness. I find it to be true that you can't achieve happiness without struggling through a little bit of darkness. If anything, it makes you appreciate those happy, positive days a whole lot more! Great quote!

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  5. "Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for" I think that is one of the most important things I have read all week. You have left me thinking about the importance of seeing things positively, but accepting that everything cannot be "fantastic" all the time. It's an important reminder, one that will serve us better in the end. Thanks for posting such a great piece!

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  6. That is such an inspiring quote. The trick is to keep reminding ourselves of this; it's easy for the inspiration to fade away. I read Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" a couple weeks ago. It was so inspiring and I totally tried to do my own mini happiness project, but I have to keep reminding myself of the things that make life a little better. Congrats on the beautiful baby! I hope the adjustments are made easily and peacefully for you.
    Jessie
    http://mymessielife.com/

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  7. Congratulations on little Charlie! I was hoping you could maybe do a post on c-section recovery? I have to have one for my 2nd child and I was wanting to know if you had any tips on making the recovery easier especially with a toddler. I have no idea what to expect or how to care for a toddler afterwards?! Thanks :)

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  8. Thank you for this. In these unexpected moments where I have felt like I am flailing, I need to remember this.

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  9. I really appreciate this post from you and the quote. Can I be honest? You're a wonderful writer and I love reading your blog, but at times I've felt that the constant sunshine is a little tiresome. Like, "Does this woman ever have a bad day?!" And while I by no means want you to have a shitty day, I was wondering if I was doing something wrong as far as parenting and general life-living goes!
    Please don't take offence at this! I'm currently sending vibes of lovely moments with your boys x

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  10. Hi Danielle, great post and an inspiring quote right there! I'm a person who tries to write three positive, happy moments in my dairy each night and that quote has made me look at things a little differently. Sometimes it's nice to know that having a bad day is 'okay' and that it's just part of the journey of life. X

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  11. Me, as a not very happy person, I absolutely understand what Mackay is saying ... very inspiring, thank you!

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  12. I really enjoyed the quote. It is comforting to me, especially as a stay-at-home mom because I often feel pressure to make everyday "happy", but this was a great reminder to focus more on wholeness. Thanks for sharing.

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  13. i love this! my mom always told me that happiness comes and goes but joy is a choice we can choose to take..
    xx

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  14. beautiful post! thanks so much for sharing your heart!

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  15. I love the idea of striving for wholeness instead of just happiness. Thanks for this important reminder.
    Amia
    www.teapotsandbelles.blogspot.com

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  16. I love this so much, Danielle. Thank you for sharing, lady. I hope you have a beautiful weekend with Hank and the boys!

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  17. For me, going from 1 child to 2 children was a bigger adjustment than going from no children to 1. For some reason I was really naive and didn't think that 2 kids meant twice the work. I figured I already had a kid and new what I was doing. Having 2 kids rocked my world for about a year.

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  18. How cool is that, wholeness. I truly believe that everything makes the person, happy or sad.

    I like it.

    Steff

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  19. That quote is perfect!! Thanks:)

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  20. I love this! It really is a great reminded that as much as we all would like to only live a life of happiness, we need those sad moments as well.

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  21. Great post! It's essential to celebrate wholeness - to embrace the things that make us sad/angry/annoyed as much as the things that do make us happy. Because we can't grow as people if we never experience anything negative. I'd say that this condition goes hand in hand with the West's mindset of being young - we have no celebration of the crone stage in America.

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  22. Hi Danielle, I love your post! I agree with you that what people should be looking for is wholeness. I believe happiness is our natural state but with life comes lessons and hard struggles and sometimes getting to happy can be too much. I think the ability to stay focused being in the present helps, it aids in feeling in control, in sitting more in peace aswell. I think being grateful and thinking positive also helps to engage you in your natural state. I have a happiness website http://elisebradfield.com/ which is about sharing light and love and learning that life isnt as serious as we make it out to be, that gives someone alot more room to just be...be happy, be at peace or be whole!

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