Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Feeling Like An Adult & Disasters In Coffee Shops

This weekend Hank, the boys and I were walking downtown to dinner when we passed a group of giggling teenagers. As we walked by, one of the girls squealed something like "oh my god, that family is soo cute!" And there was this weird moment, where I felt this divide. There they are, these young kids, not a care really in the world, and then there was us. Grown-ups. Honest to goodness grown-ups. And I don't know if it's the norm, but if I'm not thinking about it I still think of myself as one of those teenagers. Well maybe not a teenager per say, but it's still hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that I am 31, a wife and mother of two. I still feel like I'm in the "them" camp, and all those adults over there are in their own. Half the time I feel like I'm just masquerading as an grown-up, anyway. I pay bills and I still giggle to myself thinking, "this is so adult." I get both boys ready and get out the door on time and I think "oh my god, these are my two kids! Crazy!" When I was a teacher I had this feeling a lot less, and never at school, because being surrounded by teenagers all day I was fully aware of the THEM and ME (impossible not to be). But now, I am feeling those "whoa" moments again. I think this may be kind of weird (do chime in if you can relate!), and I'm not sure if this is something that a lot of twenty-something, early-thirties people experience, but then again, maybe it is? Through all of it though, there are moments like the squealing teenagers where I'm snapped back to reality from the little bubble I live in, and I am hyper aware of how it really is.

The point of this whole post though, was to write about our weekend, and as soon as I started to I got on that tangent. So let's focus. This weekend was a GOOD one. So good, because Hank had off Thursday and Friday, so we got to enjoy a rare four day weekend. And oh, was it enjoyable. How I wish we could both be at home, everyday. And like clockwork, at the end of the weekend, Hank said (like he always does after a few days at home), "I don't know how you do it! Your job is HARD." And then (like clockwork), I smiled to myself and said something back like "oh, it's not so bad." Even though I'm always secretly pleased because I feel like on occasion I feel like people think being a full-time Mom isn't hard at all. And truth be told, it is.

We did a few different things this weekend, between spending time in Flagstaff (see our previous Flag trips here), and spending time adventuring around our own town, and by the end of Sunday evening we were all exhausted and ready for an early bedtime. I think any weekend that includes good food, time spent outdoors AND the first day of a new season is a good one...so by definition, this one was amazing. Sunday was the first day of Fall, my favorite season, and I got to spend it with the three people I love the most.

This bit below though, makes me laugh because you'd NEVER know it from the photos (and isn't that the funny part about blogging?):

Our first stop when we got to Flagstaff was Macy's, our favorite coffee shop that we go to every time we're in town. It's always such a fun time, between their delicious vegan treats and great people watching. Silly us, we assumed it would be just as fun this time, but we kiiiind of forgot we'd have two kids with us. I knew right away it would be a slight disaster when there wasn't any room to maneuver the stroller, resulting in Hank getting stuck between some chairs and kind of causing a scene. Then we ordered our food and Hank's coffee (I didn't get his in a to-go cup, a move I now know is imperative when dining with two little ones at a place like this), and the only table we could find was smack dab in the middle of the place, with little to no room for the carseat, let alone the stroller, let alone two children and two adults. This is where I usually start getting really hot and sweaty- I overheat in situations like this- anyone else? So I'm overheating, Henry starts to have a serious meltdown over his lemon tart getting all over his hands (his only freakout of the day, so I have to give our sweet boy some credit), and of course...Charlie wakes up and starts to cry. A total (excuse my language) clusterfuck. We hightailed it out of there, Hank chugging his coffee, me inhaling my eggs, and as we pushed the stroller as fast as we could from Macy's Hank and I just started laughing. Hard. THAT was a moment we probably won't forget for awhile- our first attempt at navigating a very child-unfriendly place with both of the boys quite unsuccessfully. Check that one off the list, although I'm sure it won't be the last time.

And now, some photos! I hope your weekend was just as fun and eventful...although I'm hoping you managed to avoid any coffee shop disasters yourself!

xoxo

4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22 4-day Weekend, 9/19-9/22

40 comments:

  1. i have the "whoa i'm an adult" moments quite frequently! we brought our 1.5 year old to the outside lands music festival with us last month and got tons of attention. we had been to the fest a few times before as a couple - we always go to shows and festivals - but this was our first time with a kid. people were approaching us all weekend telling us how rad we were for bringing our kid to see so many cool bands. i realized i'd gone from the girl that goes to the rock shows to the mother who brings her son to rock shows. weird!

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  2. To this day I have a hard time comprehending the fact that I am 37, married, with a daughter who is one and a half. A child! Depending on me to care for it! Stranger still is when I try to put it in perspective and realize that when my mom was 37 I was 15! What? And back then, to me, she seemed so uncool, and, well...old. That makes me sad to think my daughter will think the same of me.

    Also, as far as getting overheated, I've never heard anyone put it that way before but yes, I totally get like that in stressful situations, especially involving my family. It's always when you know the whole world can see you, though, most likely they either aren't watching, don't care, or feel for you.

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  3. Love this post!! My husband tells me the same things after he has been home for a solid 48 hours. Especially if we take all three kids out he can't comprehend how I do it alone. But I guess as a mom you don't notice it as much, because it's just everyday life to you. So I can totally relate to a coffee shop meltdown. We have had a few of them ourselves. And somehow we never learn, we constantly try to visit some of our favoite places only to be humbled by our toddlers and infant saying...come on now...are you guys nuts? Haha.

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  4. You guys are so cute! Where did you get the stroller skateboard from? And is it universal or made just for your stroller brand??

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    1. hey Rana!

      It's by Orbit Baby and the skateboard is an attachment you can add on! We love it. :)

      xo
      Dani

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  5. I feel like all the other moms at gymboree are the adults. . They look older than me.. they are older than me so I feel like this kid mama. Sometimes I get horrified when the people bagging my groceries call me "ma'am". What? Don't you ma'am me! I am only 28!!!
    This weekend we went to our very lame town fair and a music video for the band playing was being shot. I saw a guy walking around and asking young people if they wanted to be in a rock and roll video.. so he walks near to me and totally bypasses me! Hey im awesome and young and have tattoos and purple hair. Pushing my daughter in her stroller must have made me looklike an old lady to him.

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  6. I can totally relate to your "this is so adult" moments! I'm constantly torn between my child vs. adult natures. On one hand I'm wishing I had all the time in the world to play my favourite video games and then on the other hand I'm really wanting to start my own family with my husband! Scary!

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  7. Great post! Next time just leave the stroller at home and put the baby in an ergonomic baby carrier, so he is close to you, you can go where you want and no stroller in the way!

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  8. I don't have a family of my own but I do have those "jeez, I'm an adult" moments. I mean, it's still a bit weird that I'm going to work every day and that I get paid for it although I have been doing this for years. Sometimes I think it's just a trial and if I want to I can go back any time... I'm glad I'm not the only person who has strange feelings about that...

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  9. I couldn't agree more about the whole not being a grown-up thing. Sometimes I'll talk about a cook-out or party and say, "There were lots of grown-ups there," meaning parents of the twenty/ thirty-somethings, ignoring the fact that we are ALL grown-ups now.
    It feels like playing house sometimes, like my kids will wake up one day and realize that they don't have 'real" parents, just some overgrown teenagers pretending.

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  10. I have that feeling sometimes, usually when I'm speaking to my friends who are still students, whilst I'm 5 years into employment!
    It may not have been the most successful coffee trip, but you still did it ! :)
    Rosie x | Every Word Handwritten

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  11. I'm 33, literally just got married (three weeks ago!) and have no family of my own and don't plan to. I cannot tell you how often I still feel like "them." I also feel that without kids, a lot of my age appropriate peers still see me as younger than I am as well. I really feel that having kids pushes you into this other circle of society that I don't think I'll ever be in as I'm not planning to have kids. Before I was married I thought that just being married would identify me as an adult, but I can see that that's not the case--it really is all about having a family. I wonder if women in the 50's, 60's and 70's ever felt this way (surely some of them did). You always look at women from those times as being so much older and mature, but so many of them had children and were married at such young ages...surely they had trouble dealing with these feelings too!
    --julie

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  12. I only just got married this summer at 25 years old, but I definitely get that feeling too. I still feel like I'm just pretending, even though I work in an office, have my own health insurance, have a husband, buy my own groceries, have utilities in my name, pay rent etc...

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  13. the first few times that someone called me "ma'am" a part of me died.

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  14. No, you are definitely not alone. I feel like this constantly! I have been married for 2 years and have a 4m old son. Like you, when I was teaching I didn't feel it as much, but it would creep up during the summer time and especially now. Sometimes I look at where I am think "whoa, this is crazy!" (not in a bad way!).

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  15. Thank goodness I am not the only one who gets hot and sweaty in disastrous situations. I am currently expecting my first baby in just over a month and am already a little anxious about navigating NYC with a stroller.

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  16. does your stroller have a board how cooool!!!!!!!

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  17. I was a Mama at 17, so I've actually forgotten what it felt like to be a "real" teenager! But, my oldest is now 18 years old and has moved out, and I still feel younger than my actual age. However, I can remember thinking to myself, "Wow...my mom is so old! She's 36!!" {I'll be 36 at the end of November....} That's when it hits me! :)

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  18. overheating in stressful situations. i'm a pro. i remember high school being so stressful for me that i'd always dress like it was fifteen degrees warmer than it actually was so that i wouldn't sweat as much. crazy, huh!?

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  19. such great pics, love the joy and love in your words. I still feel like that and I'll be 40 next Spring. Like, WAIT A MINUTE, I was JUST in college! Whoa. It goes in the blink of an eye.
    Glad you guys could laugh over the coffee shop! sounds like a day out with my family! LOL

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  20. Ha, you are so right... You can't tell from the photos- the lemon tart just looks amazing...but but gooey...I too may have had a breakdown!!

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  21. My husband and I are both 28 and feel like this all the time. Recently my 16 year old brother and his girlfriend came over to visit and I caught myself saying "back in our day" A LOT. They also didn't get any of our references. Ha!

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  22. I can completely, 100% relate to not feeling quite like an adult yet. I'm 26 and have been married for almost 4 years with 2 kids and one on the way. We live in a house with a dog and a picket fence in the most quintessential suburban neighborhood and still, when we're out and walking by groups of "young adults" who can't be that much younger than me but, also, so clearly are.. I just think to myself, WHEN did this happen? Is this really my life?

    I guess, really, all that it proves is that we're young at heart. :)

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  23. what kind of buggyboard is this??does it fit to all strollers??? pls help

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    1. Hey Eva!

      It's an Orbit Baby stroller and the skateboard is an attachment. It's exclusively for the Orbit but I would look around online- maybe you can find one!

      <3

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  24. bravo to the both of you for doing the restaurant thing with little ones. and for seeing the humor in them and the situation at hand. we only have one little guy, atticus, and i've banned restaurants for awhile. the stress and sweats i get from it is not worth the cash. i'm thinking of trying to pick up some burgers soon and eating at a park. accomplishing the i-have-to-get-out-of-the-house-now blues but slightly more sane, thoughts?

    http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2013/09/sunday.html

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  25. I love all your pictures. You make every shot so picturesque. It wows me because all the colors are so distinct.

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  26. I feel you on the us/them, adult/teen thing. One of my favorite someecards says, I always feel like I'm still in my 20s until I hang out with 20 year olds, then I'm like, Nope, in my 30s! Its so true. I wonder if I will ever feel grown up?

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  27. that was so sweet to read! also, i'm in love with the skateboard stroller attachment, that is way cool

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  28. I know exactly what you mean! I'm 33 and I've known my husband since I was 17 (even though we just found our way to each other) Sometimes, I'm all "Dude, you're my HUSBAND" and other times it's "kids these days". I kind of hope I always feel that way. :)

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  29. I totally get that weird feeling about becoming a "real adult." I'm 27 and my husband is 30 and we have a 4 year old son. We've been together since we were 19 and 21 so even though we were technically adults at the time, we've grown up so much together. I feel such a departure from who I was when I first met him, but I still sometimes feel like we're just on the cusp of real adulthood. It's such a paradoxical feeling. Like last night, for example, our "date night in" consisted of us sitting down and reviewing our spending budget spreadsheet over a beer after our son went to bed. Back when we were first dating we would have spent the evening having ridiculous conversation with friends and MANY beers, negotiating whether we should spend our last $20 on more beer or a midnight IHOP run. IHOP/beer budgeting to mortgages and college savings. Such a journey in so few years!

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  30. I am 29. We just bought a house. I still 16 though. Always and forever. Unless I start to think. And I try not to do too much of that on a regular basis.

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  31. i totally have been there before - at macy's, by myself, wanting coffee but not knowing how to do it with the stroller. i have only ever seen myself attempt it so it makes me happy i am not alone. i always overheat in the middle of the crazy, too. last time i went to macy's i brought a bike lock with me and locked our stroller outside. :)

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  32. well at least you got that first situation out of the way in the coffee shop. and you ended it by laughing at it... which can't really be all that bad! i find it's usually the anticipation of things going wrong that is worse then anything actually going wrong (not that i have kids yet). I get all warm feeling too in times like those!
    And I also have to agree that I feel like i'm technically still in my early 20's ...although I'm turning 32 next month. No grown up here! (married with a house... but c'mon). Someone called me ma'am once and i laughed and laughed and laughed

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  33. Sounds like a wonderful weekend, minus the coffee shop sitch...glad that you're able to see the humour in that though!

    Still, I'm kinda sad that you had to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed by your kids doing exactly what kids sometimes do, you know? I've felt like that too, when I'm in North America with my daughter.

    I'm going on four years of parenting in Asia and one thing that I really appreciate about raising kids here is that I never have to worry about my kid throwing a fit in public. If she does freak out, it's seen as totally normal kid behaviour and NBD even if I'm in a fancy restaurant. I really wish that North America could let go of this notion that kids are meant to be inoffensive objects and realize that they're actual humans who are not that skilled (yet!) in controlling their emotions. Anyway....glad you're stills seeing the weekend through a positive lens!

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  34. lollllllllll this is great. I totally still feel like a kid (I think you and I are just a few months apart in age?) and life is so surreal! I love how your photos from the coffeeshop still look nice and fun and chill. No one would ever have guessed based on that that it was a disaster! Poor Henry, I don't like when my hands get sticky either.

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  35. HAHA! thanks for sharing because I can completely relate to this entire post.... life with kid, soon to be kids, definitely has it's clustercuss moments ( I get sweaty, too)! I've been an adult for a while now and I still am a bit surprised at the fact. mother, wife, bills, grocery shopping, staying in, savings accounts, etc, etc. . . the good life!

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  36. Oh Im so with you there!!I also have those moments.Im just not ready to put myself in the older people group.Still see myself as young.We have also had the experiance of being in restuarant that isnt child friendly&you think it will be fine&it really isnt.Everybody is looking&I can just feel my body heating up.Some days its just so weird when I realise Im in my 30's,married&a mom.Paying bills&buying all the right foods&being responsible.Our fridays used to be a night out with drinks&dancing,now its my husband dancing with our daughter&me with the dog(my daughter insists) in our living room before bathtime.Let me just add that we have sooo much fun!!

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  37. crap I always read your posts and then forget to comment. this post was really eye-opening because I could totally see myself in your shoes in like 10 years. wow. anyway, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart. your a blessing to me and so many others!

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