Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Having It All.

Books About Books

Sometimes I'll read something and my mind will say "YES OH GOD YES! That's it exactly," my head nodding in agreement, face smiling, the works. It doesn't happen often but when it does, my bookworm soul just squeals with delight. There are few things I love more in this life than feeling a connection with a book, an article, a blog post, a motivational quote (if I'm being honest). And why? Because when we read these things and the author somehow knows exactly what has been buried in our minds that we haven't had the opportunity (or courage, or how-to) to pull out of ourselves, and when this complete stranger does it without even knowing us, it's brilliant.

I have a short list of books and posts and things like that that I keep tucked away in the back of my mind, for weird days when I don't want to feel so alone in my thoughts. I add to the list sometimes, if I find something really good, but like all really amazing, brilliant things, it doesn't happen too much. Just enough to be special. But just the other day I came across this article and fell in love.

In it, the author Delia Ephron talks about the idea of having it all, and how that idea is constantly changing, and really, never satisfied; it's always expanding and shrinking. She says, "to me, having it all- if one wants to define it at all- is the magical time when what you want and what you have match up," and goes on to describe it as little bits of time (fleeting moments as she calls them) when everything is just so. And just right.

The article was short- a quick two page read- but I've been thinking about it for days, and what the idea of "having it all" means to me. When I was in high school, I was certain that having it all meant dating the cutest boy and spending time with my friends every weekend. Back then if you would have asked me what it meant to be my current age and to have it all, I'm sure I would have said something about living in a big city, going out all the time, and not settling down until much later. But of course we grow up. We change. And like Ephron mentions in her writing, the idea shrinks and expands in accordance with our reality.

And right here, right now, having it all to me is like she describes- I don't think it's possible to "have it all" forever and always feel satisfied, but I do think it's attainable in these little moments and pieces of life.

To me, it's about family and friends. And it's about feeling like where I am is right where I'm supposed to be. It's when Hank and I are sitting on the couch at night, both boys asleep, and in the quiet of the house I know that my family is safe and sound and warm and fed. It's when I'm out with my oldest and dearest girlfriends, and I can look around and know that these girls really get me. After all these years and all this growing up, they're here. That's having it all. It's that feeling I had when I walked across the stage to receive my Master's degree, and it's that feeling I had when I walked into my classroom on the first day of teaching high school English. It's working towards something and getting there. And it's conversely the way I felt driving away from that school for the last time, 9 months pregnant, knowing that I was leaving one thing to begin another. It's when everything clicks into place, and even for just an instant, life makes perfect sense.

And I love that. I love that a little two-page article had me thinking for days, I love that it got me taking stock of my own life, got me talking to friends about their idea of having it all. I'm so thankful that there will always be writers out there who inspire me to see the little beauties around me, the articles and books and even blog posts that have me nodding in agreeance, and feeling like this huge world isn't really so big after all. Grateful for those "YES OH GOD YES! That's it exactly" moments, and to know that other people are out there too, smiling at the pages or the screen as they read the same exact words that I am.

xoxo

24 comments:

  1. The first part of your post made me think of the Superchunk song: My Gap is Weird from their album, Majesty Shredding.

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    1. I've never heard it! I will have to go look it up. :)

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    1. Aw, you are welcome! Thank you Cristina. :)

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  3. I love the article and I love so many of your posts for the very same reason. I love reading and I love that blogs and the internet in gerneal give me the opportunity to hear so many more voices, and as a result, offer more opportunites for that connection.
    I agree wholeheartedly with these setiments, with being grateful and at peace with where life has brought you, and the importance of savoring the sweet moments where you don't need anything else. There are more of them than I might realize at first glance.
    Sometimes I spend too much time thinking about all the things I want to happen and foregt about really appreacitaing what is happening. Thanks for a reminder and thanks for sending out words that help enocuarage and insprie and connect.

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    1. Thank you Rachel. What a beautiful comment! I think you and I are a lot alike in our thought processes. :)

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  4. The last part of your post reminded me of a quote from Cytnhia Ozick that I found the other day. I am translating it from my mother tongue (as that is the language I read it in and sorry could not find it back in English) so it's probably not very true to the actual quote:
    It was about and underground tunnel that connected the the thoughts of people that were moved by the same book.
    Beautiful idea, I think.
    Regards
    E

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    1. Oh gosh I LOVE that! I will have to look her up and learn more about that quote. Thank you for sharing!

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  5. Thank you for sharing this article and your connection to it. I'll be thinking about this for the next few days, at least!

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  6. A really interesting read that article you shared. I really like your take on it... I had to pass this on...

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  7. I totally know what you mean about reading things that seem to perfectly verbalize the untamed thoughts and feelings deep inside of you. It's what make books and writing in general so wonderful and necessary. Love this post! I'm going to tuck it away for a day when I don't want to feel so alone in my thoughts, as well:)

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    1. So happy you could relate too! Thank you for reading. :D

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  9. As a college student myself I really connect with this sentiment of "having it all"... Or MY version of having it all... Who knows what changes will come in the future or what will change and grow, but living in the now and working hard to get where I WANT to be, means having it... and maybe having it all! Thank you for sharing this!
    XXOO Lucy

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    1. It's so crazy how much it shifts, even week to week depending on my mood. I'd never thought about it that way until I read that article. Super interesting stuff.

      <3

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  10. I love that feeling! it's one of the biggest perks of being a book lover :)
    that's why I always keep a pen ready while reading - I just have to write those good quotes down for myself.

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    1. Yes! Whenever I read a book on my Kindle I'm always utilizing the quote feature. So handy when I don't have a pen around!

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  11. Thanks for sharing :) This really encompasses how I've been feeling like my life lately, and I'll definitely be passing it on!

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  12. Such a funny thing, because I think that often when I read YOUR posts. This is so good and so true. I love ya, lady.

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    1. Katie! You are so sweet. Love ya tons, girly. Thanks for being you.

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  13. Thank you for the read...I love Nora Ephron...and Delia's book is going to be on my wishlist if I'll get more of the same in this article! As a woman working in tech in San Francisco, I've noticed this manic focus on "It All", and I'm glad to be reminded that sometimes, cake is all I need.

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