What to do when you don't have an appropriate photo to go with a post? My answer: stick a cloud photo in it. ;)
Where are you right now? Sometimes I like to take a step back and really look at everything that's going on and the other day I got into a conversation with a friend about where we were. I'm the kind of person who always feels like I'm in the middle of something, but when I look a little more closely I can see lots of beginnings, and some ends too. Right now we're at the start of this whole new busy season of our lives. I realized this when Charlie and I dropped off Henry at preschool, ran off to run errands, popped home to go on a run, only to get us back in the car again to pick Henry up again. The days are flying by, and I can only imagine how much crazier it must feel with older children and much fuller days. We're at the first of them, with a million more stretched out in front of us. So many other beginnings too- new friends, new projects, new motivation to be better. Spring does that to me. It makes me feel like anything is possible; like I am able to start again and be renewed.
It's crazy that Charlie has already been here for 6 months, and that adds to the feeling of beginnings. He's just starting to do all of these things- almost crawling, kind of talking, just getting so much bigger. And there's an end in there too, you know. The end of the baby days. And that's hard for me. Hank and I would love to have more children but in reality, you never know what will happen. Maybe we won't be able to get pregnant again? Maybe life's circumstances change? You never, ever know. So I always kind of keep that in the back of my mind, that these days could be the last of those cooing, giggling, wide-eyed first months.
And I think about being in the middle of all of it too. I'll be turning 32 in 2 months and although I feel like I'm still so young, I know I'm getting closer to the middle of my life. Isn't that a weird thought? Not there yet, but much closer to the middle than to the beginning. Although if we want to get into it we actually have no idea if we're at the middle or maybe even close to the end, right? But that's whole different post. I also think with middles it's sometimes hard to know when you're in it, because the whole world is going by so fast and to notice a middle means you have to be aware enough to hit pause and see everything for what it is.
So yes. Beginnings and middles and ends. I've been in one of my self-reflective moods lately which always brings about posts like this and long talks about life with Hank. I partially love it but sometimes I kind of wish I was someone who didn't think about so much, so much. I have a few friends like that, who are much more just "whatever" about things- much more laid-back in attitude, and I admire that quality. The grass is always greener though, right?
If you have a moment, tell me where you are. Do you have some beginnings happening? Middles or ends?