photo by Amy of Homespun Creative
This past year has been the best year of my life so far. Kind of a big statement, but I mean it wholeheartedly. You know when you feel like everything is just kind of clicking into place? That's right now for me. I think the biggest part of it is being surrounded by a great support system- there's so much love in my life and I would credit that to this overwhelming feeling that all is well. But however good that feels there was a road to get here, and that's the part I look back on over this past year and see where I could have done things differently or made things easier on myself. More than anything I'd gently remind myself that people worth having in your life should bring out the best in you- not bring negativity or leave you feeling sad. Sometimes in my quest to see the good in everything and everyone I gloss over red flags that might be obvious to other people. And even if I could go back and tell myself to keep a healthy distance, perhaps it was good to finally learn it through the doing and the realizing of it all.
There are other things too, that I would tell my one-year-ago-self. Even though I was very aware of its quick passing, I would slow down even more during those first 6 months of Charlie's life. I'd make us stay in for days at a time, hunkered down under blankets, ignoring all clocks, until I felt like we'd really stopped time for a moment. I'd tell myself to hug my Grandma a little tighter, and make those videos of her talking about growing up in New York I'd always wanted to. I wouldn't know it then, but when Nanny would pass away last summer there would be parts of me that regretted that very deeply. When I think about other areas of life though, over the past year I can see so much growth. In years past I might have wanted to go back and tell myself to work harder, be healthier, but it feels good to say that for the most part I did my best.
I think it's good that I don't feel too much of a pull to change this or that. The biggest thing of all would just be to slow down more and enjoy the now. But I think that might be the theme of every year for me. Life has a way of speeding up, and no matter what I do, and the older I get the faster it goes. There's that saying- "the days are long but the years are short-" and that's exactly how I feel. Sometimes the days drag on, and I'm wishing for 5:30 to come around and for Hank to get home and help. But then I blink and it's the weekend. And a new month. And another year.
So if I could tell myself just one thing over the past year it would be to focus even more on this little bubble I'm in- hold my family even tighter. Cherish the everyday moments more than I already do and remember to take some deep breaths every now and again too.
So, that's my response. How about yours? If you'd like, leave an excerpt from your response below, along with a link to your post. I can't wait to read it.
Read more about my Journal Day project here.
Read previous Journal Days here.