Thursday, April 17, 2014
Balance. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I've come to the conclusion though, that unless I just accept that nothing will ever be balanced, I probably won't ever be happy! As someone who tends to be a bit of a perfectionist, it can be hard for me to not give everything 100%, or do things exactly how I envision them. It's something I think I'll always have to work through but I recently realized that just as life has changed with two children and different responsibilities, my expectations need to change. There are so many days I feel like a bad friend or a bad blogger, not having enough time to do other creative pursuits that are important to me, just kind of struggling to keep afloat in a sea of yes'...and this isn't okay. I don't want to walk around with a sense of guilt all the time- oh, I haven't posted today. Oh, I haven't called back so and so today. Oh, I haven't touched the boys' Project Life baby books in weeks, had that coffee date I keep talking about having, or answered any of the emails in my inbox in what feels like forever. And sure, some of these things may seem small or even insignificant in the bigger picture, but they're still part of my life. And to be honest, none of these things will ever change. Life will only continue to get busier, so what needs to change is my perspective. And thinking about it more, I realized that one thing I ALWAYS do is go to bed at night feeling like I was present as a mama and a good wife. Even on days I make mistakes or feel like I could have done better, I know that I am aware of how I can improve, and my family- my biggest priority- never ever gets shifted down the ladder or pushed aside. This feels good. And I realize that that's part of fixing those feelings of being so un-balanced, just recognizing that some things are higher up on my priority list, and that's just the way it is. I needed to shift my perspective and look at my day not as a huge puzzle to fit all of the pieces into, stressing over the fact that there is never, ever enough time, but as the puzzle already in tact with the main things I focus on everyday, and then making room for others things if I have time...and then accepting that if I don't, there's always tomorrow.
I'd love to know, though- do you feel balanced? Are you a parent, a student, someone who works full-time either for yourself or someone else? If you've managed to figure out a good balancing act, or if you're still working on it like me, let me know below, or send me a tweet!