Wednesday, May 28, 2014

31, 32.


Before I even get into writing this post I have to warn you that I have been feeling very Oprah-y lately. You know, just trying to live my best life authentically, etc. etc. and while looking back over my 31st year I could probably go on for awhile about the highs and the lows. I'll spare you though and just say that really, for a year that was all about life and joy, it was also a year filled with a lot of loss. How strange life is. Without rewriting something I've talked about so many times here I'll simplify and say what we all know- that we just don't have a lot of time here. And I think any instance when we lose someone we love that idea is brought to the forefront...but when you lose multiple friends or family members in a short amount of time those lessons are seriously compounded, and in my case at least, I'm left with this very strong urge to just stop the bullshit and enjoy life. None of it matters. Really.

I've been working on so many things over the past year but I think most of all I've been focusing on being kind to myself. And oh, is that is such a huge, broad thing. It encompasses so much and when you get it right, it affects so much.  Being kind to yourself isn't just about loving thoughts, or making "me time." It's way, way beyond that. It's about knowing your worth, and knowing what your time is worth. For me this means so much, including recognizing the things that make me feel like my best self, and then doing those things. Sounds simple, although it usually isn't.

I remember asking myself questions when I turned 30- do I like who I am? Am I my best self most of the time? No? How can I get there, then? And when I turned 31 I revisited these questions, things I wrote out in my paper journal.

Nothing's ever a finished product, and after reading back through those pages this is beyond clear. I can ask myself those questions again and although I know I am not fully there, I am closer. And that feels good, that progress.

Most of all though when I look back at my 31st year I am in awe of this life. I get to be Hank's wife and Henry and Charlie's mama and to me, that's everything. Love. That's all we need and I have an abundance of it and if I could I would SHOUT to the rooftops THANK YOU a million times to whoever is listening.

31 was so good to me, and it's pretty neat to see that a big chunk of that was spent learning how to be better to myself. I can only cross my fingers that 32 is just as sweet.

xoxo


20 comments:

  1. What a lovely post. Happy Birthday and I hope 32 is everything you want and more

    Bluebell & Bumpkin

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  2. I love the reflection of this! And the tip of focusing on being kind to yourself. It definitely is more then it seems…thank you for sharing that! Happy birthday and good luck with 32!

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  3. Last year, I lost my mom, my grandma and my nanny (to whom I'd remained very close) so yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I've never felt more grateful for the life I have, my husband, my kids, my family and I've never paid that much attention to the litte details which, in the end, matter so much.
    So I wish you the best for this new year of your life. Enjoy the big and the small blessings :) Happy Birthday!

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  4. Happy Birthday! I hope 32 is sweet for you too!

    Shannon xo
    http://www.thewildhideaway.com

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  5. Happy Birthday! Cheers to 32!!!!! At age 31, I feel like I am 'behind' on so many things at my age.... To do's I guess. So as you said I guess I need to be more kind to myself. ;)

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  6. I had the same talk with myself when I turned 30; it took me a couple years to get started becoming a better version of me, and it's been hard and occasionally very frustrating work - but so worth it! Happy birthday, congratulations on your progress. :)

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  7. This was so moving and resonated so much with me. I feel myself moving in this direction as well and it's a good feeling. Kudos to you for being so self-aware and I have no doubt your journey will always be a fulfilling and meaningful one. Happy Birthday to you my dear! I am oh so glad we "met" ;) this year, you are such a kind soul. xoxo

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  8. Wonderful! Happy birthday to you! It's nice to be satisfied with your life.

    Christen
    http://christenlouise.blogspot.com

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  9. happy birthday! I turned 32 last October and it's been a pretty great year.. hoping you all the best this year :)

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  10. happy birthday! I turned 32 this past October and it's been a pretty great year… hoping all the best for you this year :)

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  11. Oh, Dani, where do I even start? You are just a kindred spirit who I've never even met. I'm wishing you so much happiness for this new year in your life. As ever your reflections have inspired me and left me feeling warm that someone else feels so similarly to the way I do. Happy Birthday! xo

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  12. Nice to be 31, right? Keep going girl. You rock

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  13. Aww Happy Birthday to a wonderful you!! Your posts are so inspiring sometimes and I love to read everything you have to say. Thanks for sharing your beautiful words, always! Here's to a great 32 :)

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  14. i love this post. so inspiring :) thank you for sharing this!
    xo, cheyenne

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  15. Happy birthday! And I totally agree with enjoying life and cutting out all the bullshit. Life is just too precious.

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  16. Happy Belated Birthday!!
    Greetings from Germany :)

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  17. Sorry for all of your losses over the past year :( Our time here sure is short, that's a fact. One of my best friends lost her fiance due to a drunk driver at the end of 2012 and that just really opened all our our eyes. Happy 32! I just turned 30 this year and have asked myself many of the same questions you did.

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  18. I love this post! Thank you for always inspiring a little more sunshine into the world that desperately needs it. You are a joy to read :)

    Aimee Burton

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