Thursday, June 12, 2014

Journal Day #12

Let's talk about love. Do you believe in the idea of a soulmate? Do you think there is one person for everyone- and do you think that no matter what, if you're "supposed" to meet that person you will? This week, talk about your experience with love and discuss what you believe, and also be sure to touch on what helped shape those beliefs.

photo by Amy of Homespun Creative

Maybe it's the Gemini in me, but I've always felt like there are definitely two sides to most things in my life. And in the case of love, this is definitely true. There's a part of me that knows that it's possible to meet many people in your lifetime and fall in love, and that there are probably various partners, based on the different stages in your life, timing, and location that could be a match for you. I get that. But then there's this whole separate side of me, the side that wins out every time when talking about love, that believes wholeheartedly that there is one person for everyone, because I know without a doubt that I have found mine.

When I met Hank I never believed in anything like love at first sight (although maybe just "really really interested at first sight" is more realistic), but somehow on that summer day it happened. There was an definite spark and seriously, everything went in slow motion. It was bizarre, it was awesome, and kind of scary too. And I know that he is my person. My soulmate, if you want to label it as such. I don't think there is another person out there that could ever love me the way he does, or that I could love in the way I do. I have to think though, had I not been over our mutual friend's house on that very day, would we have met? We'd been in and out of each others' lives via shows and friends and had often been at the same place at the same time, but never managed to meet or even hear of one another. When we were much younger we figured that we had been to many of the same concerts growing up, and then later his band even played a show in my freshman dorm...and I can still remember walking through Sechrist's lobby while they were playing. So was it fate that we would meet four years later? Just timing? If we both weren't at our friend's on that day, if I hadn't decided to go outside, would we have ever had an opportunity to connect in such a way?

It's crazy to think back at all the turns in your life, and then take a look at where you currently stand. All of it, every single little second, has brought you here, and as often discussed in that whole "butterfly effect" thing, any change to anything could change it all. Or could it? And if a relationship ends with someone you do consider a soulmate, would that then be it for you?

Most of all, I just know how this love feels, and maybe it's a romantic notion but this is the only love I ever want. I do believe Hank and I were supposed to meet, and I would like to believe that if it wasn't on that day, it would have been another. And maybe that's crazy...but really, imagining life without this love and everything it's built is so, so much crazier to me.

How about you? I'm really excited to read everyone's post on this topic, so comment below with a blurb from yours and a link pointing us there! xoxo

Read more about my Journal Day project here.
Read previous Journal Days here.
 

28 comments:

  1. I really enjoy your writing. I think we had somewhat similar thoughts on the topic - thank you for sparking the thinking!! Here's my blurb:

    "I (foolishly, says hindsight) spent nearly a decade with someone who made me become much less of an individual, completely untrue to myself, and molded myself into someone that I never wanted to be. My experience of love before I met M was that of jealousy, anger, bitterness, self-destruction, and codependence. I could look at those years as the Epic Mistake of My Life, but I simply can't boil it down to just that. Because every decision that I made in my life has led to me meeting M. On paper, there was no logical probability that we would meet at all..."

    http://www.adventuresofbugandboo.com/blog/2014/6/12/regrets-choices-soulmates

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  2. Such a great topic to write and think about Danielle, I loved your piece. It's so interesting to think about fate and how everything affects everything, often without us even realising it. Here's a paragraph from what I wrote:

    "I may not necessarily believe in there being one person for everyone, but I do believe that some things are meant to be, and that everything happens for a reason. I've been trying to work out how I can distinguish between not believing in soulmates but almost believing in some kind of destiny and, to be honest, I'm not all that sure how to explain it. I prefer to believe that everything happens for a reason, making every experience worthwhile because I think if I believed in soulmates, it wouldn't make as much sense to me why we would go into relationships that aren't with our soulmate, thinking that I would meet my one person. I do think/hope there will be one person that I spend my life with, but not that they are the only person that that could have been."

    Anna xx | The Girl In The Moon

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  3. I always wonder, "What if," a lot when it comes to my relationship with my husband. Would we have found each other still at the end? Where would be otherwise? It's an interesting thought, especially when you know now that you're meant to be together.

    Here's a blurb from my post today:
    "Should you go through life disregarding every other person who wants to become close with you just because you don’t “click” right away? Absolutely not. I don’t think your soulmate will come up to you, smack you in the face and shout, “HERE I AM!” (It certainly didn’t happen that way for me). Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper into something before you find what you’re looking for."

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    1. Ahh crumb, forgot the link!

      http://karaschatter.com/2014/06/12/journal-day-3/

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  4. "And then…there’s just one..and nobody else seems to come after. For whatever reason, that person is the equivalent of coming home after a very long day."

    http://chloefoxxy.tumblr.com/post/88302374849/journal-day

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  5. Great topic! This has actually come up in conversation recently.

    "So, I guess you could say I don’t really believe in the whole love at first sight and soul mate (in terms of one true love). It just seems so unlikely that there is only one person out there for us all because what are the odds that you’ll actually meet them in a world that is so big?"

    http://andwontonmakesthree.wordpress.com/2014/06/12/2783/

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  6. Glad to see the prompt again this week. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I sat down to write this one today.

    "What I do know for certain is that I love N. Sometimes that love is crazy & inexplicable. Sometimes it's beautiful & unwavering. Sometimes I can't keep it to myself while other times, it sits subtly under the surface. It's in the every day as much as in those special moments, in the good as much as the bad. So whether I chose N or he chose me or it came from somewhere else entirely is irrelevant to me. I've chosen to be present in this relationship & in this love & to work at making it the best it can be."

    http://whoalansi.blogspot.ca/2014/06/journal-day-twelve.html

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  7. Thanks fo such a great prompt, Dani!! heres my excerpt and link:

    "There have been many times that I have questioned whether we are really meant for each other. After only being reunited for about 6 months, I got pregnant with Julian. Part of me did wonder if it was my vision of a perfect family that kept us together, rather than being paired together by some higher power. When things get hard, my mind wanders back to that, but every time that we have made it through stronger than we were before, I know more and more that we aren’t an accident."

    http://www.emmabauso.com/blog/journal-day-soulmates

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  8. This was a GREAT topic!! I loved writing about it.

    Upon reflection, I realized that after having been head over heels in love with my boyfriend for the past three years, I'm even less certain about the idea of soulmates or one person for everyone.
    I don't know about anyone else but I know that my soul has found her mate and he IS my one person.

    Thanks for getting this conversation started in my home! :D
    http://xoxolib.wordpress.com/2014/06/11/page-thirty-nine-love-fate-soulmates-and-other-squishy-feelings/

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  9. Loved this prompt!

    "I never believed in love at first sight, one true loves, and knights in shining armor. I never believed in fairytales. I must certainly did not believe in soul mates or that there was only one person in the world for me." http://ygfasings.blogspot.com/2014/06/our-story.html

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  10. I had so much fun writing about this! I'm gonna do more of your journals because its great for blogging!

    Two snippets from my entry:

    "I think the term "soulmates" is confused with the notion of having someone romantically, and spiritually in your life. However I believe there are multiple types of soulmates that live within your life.

    "Finally, I love you came.

    I admit, I was the first to say it, and I figured I would be. I felt so good with her. It felt good to say it. She made me feel good. Everything about her, her personality, her being very vulnerable with me, and we were both vulnerable with each other I will say"

    http://www.shewrotetoday.com/2014/06/inspired-journals-soulmates.html

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  11. Thanks, I loved this journal entry, I decided to do soemthing a little different with it.

    "soulmate: a close friend that completely understands you
    : a person who has the same beliefs and opinions as another person.

    I have a soulmate. SHE does not live here. SHE completely understands me, has the same beliefs and opinions as me, SHE has half of my soul, the long lost part that I have been searching for all of my life as a friend as a companion, she holds it in her heart on the other side of the country. "

    http://weddingbellsandpuppydogtails.blogspot.com/2014/06/journal-day.html#links

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  12. I also think that our mindsets change as we grow older and meet more people! ;) I wrote about my thoughts at

    http://everydayingrace.blogspot.ca/2014/06/journal-12-do-you-believe-in-soulmates.html

    I really like this prompt and it was so interesting to see what everyone had to say! :)

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  13. I think it definitely has to with finding that special person to be able to feel like there is no one else out there for you. I similarly didn't really know if I had a soul mate or if there were such things until I met my current boyfriend. It didn't take long for me to know it and you said it perfectly, but his is the only love I want to know. <3

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  14. I love this post! I've always believe in soul mates and my boyfriend and I know we are each other's soul mates. We worked at the same place and knew each other's faces for years and finally one day we broke the ice. It's funny how things work out! And now over 3 years later I couldn't imagine being with anyone else!

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  15. "I was a train wreck of a young adult. After high school, I dropped a ton of weight and began dating and seeing whomever I pleased. If some guy thought he was my boyfriend, I didn't care.. I'd go on a date with other people who showed interest in me.".....

    http://whenlifegivesyoumellins.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-one-i-want-to-be-with-when-im.html

    I enjoyed writing this one a lot.

    xo
    Ali

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  16. Thanks for the great journal prompts! I don't always get a chance to do these but when I do I always enjoy them :)

    "A large part of me believes that there is one person out there for everyone. I tend to be a hopeless romantic. But at the same time coming from divorced parents a small part of me thinks that there can be more than one person out there for someone..."

    http://thoughtsoflis.blogspot.com/2014/06/journal-day-12.html

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  17. Still loving these prompts and this weeks was a lovely one:

    "Three years ago, my husband and I spent 4 weeks in Europe, with us spending our 25th wedding anniversary in Paris. We had rented an apartment in a lovely part of town, and on the actual night, we didn't go out to a swish restaurant, just stayed in and made ourselves a lovely dinner and enjoyed each others company. It was probably the best holiday we have had."

    http://www.redheadedlass.com/2014/06/journal-day-prompt-12.html

    Stephanie

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  18. I couldn't agree more with you. Maybe it's because I'm also a gemini and I also have a similar crossing of paths story with my husband. Great post!

    http://glassesandgrenades.blogspot.com/2014/06/journal-day-12-soulmates.html

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  19. i always wonder about the definition of soul mate? is it someone you love and they love you? obviously on a much deeper level, or can it be your best friend with no sexual love? maybe i say this because i havent met mine yet? or i have and i just dont understand the concept?

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    1. I think it could definitely be a non romantic relationship too. Maybe there are different kinds of soulmates? I say this because I have a couple of women that have been in my life for over a decade that I feel are my female soulmates, in a way. An immediate, sisterly love that has continued on from the day we met.

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  20. "You accept grace in crevices that you didn’t know existed.

    And you are better for that.

    You are transformed by a union that the world tells you is too hard to even try."

    http://amamacollective.com/dont-believe-soul-mates-2252/

    Thank you for this, Danielle. Your story is beautiful. ~Jenna

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  21. Think you'll enjoy this poem : http://tylerknott.com/post/4067881820/first-sight

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  22. Nice to see that these prompts are back! This one was a fun one to write about :) Thank you for sharing your thoughts as well!

    "Sometimes, if you are lucky, you get the opportunity to go through life with someone who has the same thoughts and ideals and likes similar things to you. Sometimes you find a connection with someone who brightens and enhances your life in ways you never thought possible, ways you never realized you needed; like looking at a painting for the umpteenth time and noticing something that you've never seen before, something beautiful, something completely new to you."

    http://alifefortuitous.blogspot.com/2014/06/journal-day-on-love-and-soul-mates.html

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  23. What a sweet post, Dani! It brought tears to my eyes.

    Here's a poem I wrote and gave to my boyfriend, by the time we were dating - I didn't know that later that exact night he would officially ask me to be his girlfriend:

    http://luadeprataemceudecarvao.blogspot.com.br/2010/09/for-you.html

    Hope you like it.

    XO,
    Ilana

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  24. I struggle deeply with this concept, and this is coming from a happily married (7 years) woman with two kids. I have been lucky to see many different examples of great love in my family and surrounding community, and I have also seen marriages end early because of tragedy and death. My father died when I was 12 and my mother was heartbroken. And then she remarried. What I remember about her marriage to my father is light years different from the marriage to my stepfather, but is one less "magical" than another? My mother and stepfather never had children together, but if they had, would that child have parents for whom marriage was less from the soul than my parents? If something happens to my husband Ben and I eventually fall in love again, which person would truly be my soul mate? Who is the one for me?

    Love and marriage is WORK. It's work to make it work, even when it's easy. I think terms like "love at first sight" and "soul mates" are pretty, and can be a little dangerous. People think if things don't click and there the thundering heartbeat ever fades then the love isn't "meant to be." From what I've seen, the success in true romances comes from working and working and MAKING it meant to be. Sticking together, and creating that soul-felt bond from shared experience and compromise and helping each other.

    I don't know if there is one soul mate for every person, but I find a lot of comfort in the fact that the tools for building strong relationships probably trumps the need for that singular perfect match. Thanks for the very thought-provoking prompt!

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  25. Oh, I love this. Being single and being someone who has ALWAYS been single, (Hell, I've never even been kissed), I think it would be kind of fun to write a post for this and give my perspective on love. I might have to do that :)

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  26. This is beautiful. I completely agree with you! The more time I spend with my BF, the more and more I feel like we belong together. After two years, I still look at him and get butterflies. I feel like I can spend the rest of my life with him, and still have that amazing feeling.

    Especially going through long distance (New Jersey and Massachusetts) and sickness ( I had an emergency brain surgery and he has colitis) our bond has gotten stronger.

    I love reading love stories like your! I started following you on Instagram and found your amazing blog! Love the journal prompts.

    ReplyDelete

 
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