Monday, July 14, 2014

Journal Day #14

Think about the plans you had for your adult self when you were younger- would you say they match up to your reality today? What did you wish for your future when you were a child? Did you have a plan? And would you say you've followed that plan in any way? This week, look at the life you hoped to have (even if you consider your childhood "dreams" silly now) and see how your current life compares.

 little us- my sister (on the right) and me.

First of all, I just wrote "I can still remember when 30 was old" and couldn't figure out why that line sounded so familiar. I have a tendency to repeat myself from time to time in posts so I assumed I had written it before, but then it came to me that it's a line from "Strawberry Wine." Ha! Anyone remember that song? It's pretty perfect though, because that song reminds me of high school, which takes me back to all of the silly/amazing/naive ideas I had about my future, and what I hoped it would be like.

Growing up I was always very idealistic (still am), and I definitely always had an idea in my head of what I thought my future should be. Granted, it would change regularly, but it always included some sort of extreme move- New York City being the most popular destination of my imaginary future- and living with all of my girlfriends and little sister. I'm not too sure if I ever dreamed of getting married like most little girls do. I mean, I'm sure I did at some point but when I think back to what I hoped for it was usually some sort of career. At my youngest I recall wanted to be a flight attendant (stewardess actually, since we're talking about the 80s) or a cruise director. That lasted for some time until I moved on to a million other futures, and later decided I wanted to be a lawyer, which held up almost all the way until applying for law schools, which I eventually never did.

I think at the root of it though, my "plan" was just to always surround myself with the people I love. Family always came first for us growing up, so naturally family continued to be first, including the friends that became my family over the years. I remember having this list in the 9th grade. It was a LONG list, of maybe 100 bullet points, that listed all the requirements of my future partner. And at the very end was a huge disclaimer that said something like "if this guy has all of these thing but still doesn't make you laugh every single day, RUN!" My, how smart my 14-year old self was.

But I can remember being so young and feeling like my current age now, was so old. God, 32. And now I feel like it's really not old at all. I think when I was a child I would have envisioned my life now a little differently. Perhaps I would be traveling around the world, living in NYC, or on a boat somewhere. I'd be a writer for sure, possibly for National Geographic, off to here and then to there...everywhere. But instead I'm a former high school English teacher (never saw that one coming) turned stay-at-home Mom to two boys, married to a man I've been with for a decade! It just goes to show, you never know what life has in store.

So no, I don't think my life now is quite how I would have envisioned it when I was a kid, but I'm also the funny little girl who had four baby dolls ("quadruplets!" I'd be sure to tell you) named Kelsey, Chelsey, Bryan, and Ryan and was determined to raise them on my own somewhere between being the first woman President orrrr being a cruise director on Norwegian Cruise Lines (even though I'd never been on a cruise in my life and still get violently seasick). I didn't make a whole lot of sense. But however random my future dreams were, I do think my child and teenage self would be pretty damn proud of the reality we came into after all, and my six year old self would be especially excited to know I'm already halfway to having those four little ones. ;)

So how about you? Leave a comment below with a link to your post, and a little excerpt too, if you'd like!

Read more about my Journal Day project here.
Read previous Journal Days here.


  1. Yes your 14 year old was very smart... and I too had my baby dollies..

    "I am sitting here with my head in my hands trying to think back what I wanted to be when I grew up. I don't think I ever really had anything in mind.. Oh I wanted to be hundreds of things, but nothing really."

    My post:


    1. Thank you so much for sharing your link, Stephanie! Can't wait to go read it. :)

  2. Strawberry Wine is my jam!!!! :) haha! when i want to sing in the shower but can't think of anything, i always sing that song because i remember every word!!! :) love it! thanks for this memory!!

    1. Right?! BEST shower singing (or car singing!) song ever. <3

  3. I totally agree that you never know what life has in store! I'm similar to you, where my plan was definitely to surround myself with people I loved. I certainly didn't know that my life would also entail moving to another country and living there nine months a year…its amazing how much your "plan" changes as you grow, learn, and develop!

    1. Thank you for sharing, Samantha! I'm looking forward to reading your post! :)

  4. HOLY CRAP. I had that dress your sister has on, and I think my family had that couch! Haha.

    When I was little, I knew what I wanted. I wanted my soul mate (I didn't care about the wedding, I mean I wanted to be married, but I didn't plan the ceremony or anything like that.) I wanted to be a mother, and I wanted to be an artist. That was my dream, and outside of being a mother, that is the dream I am living.

    I found my soul mate when I was thirteen, we've been together for almost eleven years now. I am a fur, feather and shell momma and that is perfect for me, and us, right now. Artist wise, I am not a professional - and that's okay. I am creative everyday, whether it's writing or drawing or brainstorming ideas. I love that.

  5. I really love your blog, I have only just found it!
    But this post really makes me think (even more...) I always reflect on milestones that happen, for example. But when the time has been and gone, I ask myself "Where did time go?" or "Why don't I feel like a new person?" The point is that we are always going to be o.u.r.s.e.l.v.e.s. We are stuck with ourselves, and it is so hard to get up and change our lives/seek our ambitions if we are still the same old saves without special powers - we need to be responsible for our own incentives, isn't that scary?!

    I love this post! Sorry If I went off on a tangent...

  6. I still love this prompt! Sad I haven't had time to write up a post yet, but, maybe this weekend. Will definitely post back if I do. And I was much like you, more career and living with my best friends oriented than I was getting married.

  7. "As I grew up, certain dreams died while others were born. It was a never-ending, where do I belong and what should I do struggle that I had. Where should I go to school? What should I study? What is it that I actually love? I didn't believe in going to school just to go to school - I didn't have the money for that. So University waited as I sorted out what it was I wanted out of this life. "


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