Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Baby #3

Charlie Newborn Photos

Ooh, I bet you thought this was a pregnancy announcement, huh? Haha! Sorry. But I do really want to talk about this whole idea of a third baby. For so long Hank and I always said we wanted to have four children. In fact, I used to say I would love to have six! That was of course before I had two. And now that we have two, there have even been moments where I felt like maybe, possibly, we could be done right here. Those moments are pretty few and far between though (and usually on my hardest parenting days), because in my heart I feel like we are absolutely meant to have at least one more child and we definitely will. But four? I'm not sure...until I go and look at baby photos of Henry and Charlie (like the one of C, up there) and I'm back to wanting six little ones again and find myself daydreaming about a huge family.

Now that Charlie is rounding the corner to 1.5, life is getting easier. He's walking, he's talking, and we're able to do a whole lot more. I love this age. And as much as I do miss those teeny tiny baby days, I think I actually like this age and all of its stages even more.

When I think back to so many discussions Hank and I would have about planning out our family, we always thought we would try to get pregnant when Charlie was one. When that time came around we decided to wait, and now that winter is here we're talking about maybe waiting a little longer. You never know what the future holds- what if I can't get pregnant again? What if I get pregnant this month? Some things just happen, so when I say "plan" I use that term very loosely.

So I ask you, how many kids do you have? How many do you want to have? And if you are a parent of multiple children, what is the age gap between them? Do tell!

xoxo

53 comments:

  1. Can I just say you are awesome! I often look to your blog for inspiration and ideas. I have two boys 3 years and 4 mos. I feel pretty confident we won't be having anymore, but love them oodles. I thought I would only be able to have one because of difficulties, so to have two is wonderful. If you were to have a 3rd or 4th, 5th or dare I say 6th I know you would rock it. You're a great mama. Thanks for always sharing. Happy Holidays!!

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  2. Two children here, 19 months apart, they are now 3 and 4 (almost 5) years old, and we knew as soon as we got pregnant with the 2nd (earlier than we had planned) that we were DONE (appt for a vasectomy happened before I even gave birth!) I think that some people just KNOW when they are done having kids, and some never feel like they are 'done'. And it seems (just with my group of friends), that there is always that hesitation before having the 3rd, the age gap is always bigger than they had planned; maybe because having more than one is always just assumed but then once you have a sibling for your first, there's the question of 'needing' to add a third. I don't know, I find it so interesting people who want multiple (3 or more) children, it's just sooooo the opposite of my own views that I have a hard time picturing wanting life to be that chaotic for so long! Plus putting your body through pregnancy and breastfeeding over and over again...but, to each their own, no judgements either or any way!

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  3. I have three sons (12, 10 and 5). Experiences with multiple children vary depending upon the household dynamics. My husband and I both work and feel overwhelmed almost 100 percent of the time. Our children are in this constant fighting stage where it's almost comical how little time they can go without yelling at one another. With my oldest two, it has been nice because they have always enjoyed much of the same things. It's a bit trickier when you have a big age gap because the youngest always wants to hang with the older boys but the older boys are annoyed by their very presence. I actually did not want children - my oldest son was a huge "oops" and then we planned my second child, hoping for a girl. Our third son was conceived while I was on the pill! I'm finally on a birth control that works and not planning on any more. Now that all three children are in school, I cannot fathom returning to the baby stage.

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  4. I have a 3.5 year old daughter (Dempsey) and am currently 8 months pregnant with our first boy (Oliver). I am nervous about having another child and having to get a new routine down, but also very excited and can't wait for this new adventure. My husband and I always talked about having 3 children, but now that we will have 1 of each, that conversation is changing. I guess whatever is meant to be will be. Good luck to you and thank you for sharing your life with us readers <3

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  5. I wanted four too!! Until my boys got a wee bit older. Maybe if I was able to take more breaks for myself or with my husband. That's not in the cards so I will be happy with my two sweet boys.

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  6. We have a 3 year old and a 17 month old (they are 20 months apart) and we loved having 2U2! So we are doing it again :) I'm due with our third this spring. I'm sure it will be crazy at times, but we really love this life we've been blessed with. We both have some infertility issues, so we're extremely thankful. Although when my youngest was 3 months my husband was already wanting another! It took me until aftee she was a year old to be ready.

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  7. I'm awaiting the arrival of baby number four anyday now... I have three girls - 11, 8 and 5 and this is our first boy! We planned on having two to start with, then number three came along and we said no more. But the broodiness hit and we figured why not?! I honestly can't imagine life with only one or two kiddos now, big families are so much fun - hard work yes, but there is so much life and happiness in our house. I can't see us having any more after this one, but I never say never!! I don't think there's a right or wrong number of kiddos - just whatever is right for you and your family.

    I totally get what you mean about life getting easier now that Charlie is bigger though - my youngest is 5 so these impending nappies and sleepless nights are a little daunting!!

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  8. We have two kids (boy and a girl) who are almost 17 months apart, and we're done. I went back and forth for a bit as to whether or not I was truly done, but I'm 32, and while that's not old, for me it's definitely a factor in not having more kids. We also just feel good with how our family looks and feels. It feels complete... I think. Ha ha, I think on some level part of me will always wonder what 3 would have been like. ;)

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  9. Our first is due in April. At the moment, adding any more seems like it would involve an awful lot of hurdles (we'd have to move; we're not sure we could afford it; looking after a toddler with the pregnancy hip trouble I'm having sounds awful etc etc). But I did love having a sibling (most of the time) when I was growing up and it's lovely to see our two nephews playing together so... I don't know... we'll just have to see what the future has in store. Steve's an only child so I don't think he gives the possibility as much thought as I do!

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  10. I would love having a big family but I have a premature ovarian failure. With only 29 I have the same eggs reserve as a woman in her fourties. After 1,5 years trying to conceive naturally I have just done my first IVF. I've got a precious embryo (since sunday so today maybe is a 5-day blastocyst) inside my uterus and I really hope it wants to stay with me. 1/1/15 will know the result.
    This is the time I've felt nearest of getting pregnant. It's my christmas dream.
    Today also is my birthday..hehe.

    Your family and you are so adorable. Hope baby #3 arrives soon!

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  11. I have one son who turned three a couple days ago. I'd like another, but not for another couple years. I'm hoping for a 5 or 6 year age gap between kids, which most people think is pretty unusual! My three year old has always been easy going, and we're a family that likes to do a lot together - we've brought our toddler to music festivals and to Europe - but think it would be easier to add another into the mix once our son is out of the toddler stage and more of a "big kid."

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  12. Ahhh!!! I loved this post. I want a big(ger) family as well and we have two now. My big little is two and the littlest little is rounding three months. I had an exact two year age gap between them (four days apart!) and some days I feel like "how could I add another one? It's already so hard!" Two has been hard for me, the tantrums and the exploration. It's a struggle for me to remind myself she isn't being "bad" but rather testing the boundaries of the world around her in the place where she feels most comfortable (with me). I am interested to see how it gets both harder and easier as they grow.
    Some days I feel like "quick sneak the third one in there before you don't feel like being pregnant again" but I think adding a third one right now would overwhelm me and not in a good way. Our "plan" is to wait until the youngest will be three possibly three and a half. So that the older one would be five and more self-sufficient. But we will see..... Best laid plans right? Merry Christmas!

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  13. :) Totally had me, I thought pregnancy announcement! haha
    I have two, just had my second actually. A little girl and a little boy, precisely 21 months apart. I, too, have always said I'd like to have 5 or 6, and I genuinely hope we get there! I'm the fourth of ten and absolutely loved it growing up and even more now (built in grown up best friends and I still get to go to my parents' house and hang with my 11 and 13 year old brothers and just be big sister.) My husband and I are in camp we'll-just-see-what-we-get. For some people I know, like my parents, that meant 10 kids, for some of our friends that meant just two. Who knows what we'll get? But we in our Catholic-ness are pretty content with using NFP when necessary, and just seeing what happens when it's not :) That being said, we're trying for a little break right now. Maybe a couple of years, but we'll see.

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  14. Ours are 2yrs 2months apart. I'm done. I love me some babies but toddlers are just so much more complicated....and I'm sure teens are too!

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  15. Just the twins for now over here but when they are 2 1/2 we are going to see how we feel about trying again. Since the chances of having twins or triplets will be super high since we've had twins once we want to make sure there is quite a gap between the next baby/babies + the boys. I want four or five for sure!! Might be able to knock that out in two pregnancies ;)

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  16. This is a huge topic in my household and not for the same reasons! Growing up, I always wanted two or even three kids. My husband too. When we found out we were pregnant with our daughter, it seemed like the first of many. I had an extremely rough pregnancy and then a very scary, life threatening delivery and my husband and I both decided we were done. One was enough and we were thankful for what we had. After our daughter turned 18 months, we got kind of caught up in those dreams we used to have and decided to start trying. Well a month of trying turned into a year. Finally, after we reached a year, we both had a very serious conversation and realized we had been trying to fulfill a family ideal that didn't belong to us. Because we had spent our whole lives imagining that we were 'supposed' to have two or more (like everyone else!) we got caught up in the reality of how severe and scary the birth of our daughter was. Realizing everyone else's dream wasn't our own, we made a pact to be thankful and happy for our little threesome forever. Now, I'm relishing in the fact that I don't have to compete with what I thought was the perfect family, since mine is perfect just the way it is. :) Whatever you chose, i'm sure it'll be right for you as well!

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    1. So well said! I hope my husband and I can find the answer from within as you and your husband did! It's hard not to find yourself wanting someone else's dream.

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  17. Great post! I'm an avid reader (and Instagram follower) but rarely comment, but you hooked me here ;) I have 4 babes (8, 6, 3 and 1) and it's honestly amazing. My first 2 are 21 months apart and then I experienced 2 years of infertility after an early miscarriage, so our third daughter was 3 years and 3 months younger than my second. That was a pretty awesome experience for my family because my two big girls really understood what was happening and they wanted to be a part of everything, including the birth. My oldest even cut the cord and it was priceless. As soon as she was one year old we started really considering trying for our fourth because the age gap left us concerned that she would grow up only watching her sisters relationship and wishing she had the closeness of a sibling herself. She and my son are 1 day shy of exactly 23 months apart and they have a lovely relationship (all 4 of them do actually). It's been amazing watching them learn to care for each other and want to put the other first. It has many challenges (even just logistically concerning naps, school, activities, eating out, car space, home space, etc) but my husband and I would NEVER trade what we see blooming between them for temporary conveniences ... although I do understand people who do that, and it's totally ok! But you can't wish to change what you have, especially when it's brings such creativity, noise and fun :) No matter what, you learn and your kids adapt in ways you didn't know they could and it's an impressive thing to see. Your boys are amazingly cute, by the way ... in fact, my MIL saw a picture in my IG feed and said, well he (Charlie) is not my grandbaby, but he's probably the next cutest baby in the world ;)

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  18. My 1st is 14 months old, and my plan was to wait until she was 2 to start trying and then hopefully we will have an almost 3 year old by the time I deliver. Whelp, my birth control pills decided for me, and now I just found out why Aunt Flo didn't show up this month. I am excited, but the truth be told, I wish I had the opportunity to wait a little bit longer so that I don't feel overwhelmed with 2 little ones while working from home. I am either going to have 2 and be done with it, or have 2 more later in life if my body and life path allows.

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  19. I have four children with a great age range. Two boys and they are 18, and 17, and two girls 15 and 16months. I defitnetly want one more, I love kids, and have always wanted a huge family.

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  20. I had my oldest son when I was 17. (He just turned 20 last weekend!) I waited 11.5 years before I had another one ~ my daughter. Two years later, my youngest son was born. They are now 8 and 6. My husband also has a son who is 14. After our youngest son was born, we decided that 4 kids was our limit and we were done! My husband had a little surgery and we were "complete".

    Fast forward to now: my oldest is out of the house, and my step-son has moved to California with his mom. My husband and I only have the 2 littles at home.....and both of us, at different times, have questioned if we did the right thing by considering our family "complete".

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  21. All along we wanted to have two kids... And after trying for a few months we got pregnant and when my 20 weeks ultrasound came around... BAM! Two babies in there haha. No idea where my boy/girl twins came from but here they are, 6.5 months old. My husband makes remarks about maybe trying for another baby at some point but I think I am done :

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  22. The post title definitely made my heart skip a beat :)

    I am the eldest of four so when I was young I wanted a huge family. Now as an adult, I fluctuate - say days I want four, others just one - but then I hang out with my big family and know I want that chaos for my children.

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  23. I have three kiddos. I knew when I had my first I was not done. And I knew when I had my second we were not done, although I said I was. I just had a feeling deep inside that someone was missing. And it turns out I was right. On the day that our daughter was born I knew she was the missing puzzle piece. I also feel a great sense of peace about our family. I look at our family photos now and think, yep, that's us. All of us :)

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  24. We always said 5. That was before having any. Now we have two, age 3.5 and 11 months. I think I would be ready to try again but want to give my body a break and also I am looking forward to not being pregnant/have a baby this summer because we will actually be able to all go outside and run around unlike last summer. Come fall time, I'm all in for #3. And we will decide about #4 and #5 ;)

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    1. Once you get to #3, you'll feel like you could have six more and you wouldn't notice :))

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  25. My son is 7, my daughter is 2 and right before her third birthday ( a month or so) we will welcome another baby boy. I could probably be done at three. Part of me isn't ready to say no more though. So we shall see! I come from a big family (middle of 5) and used to say I wanted 4 or 5, but this has been such a rough pregnancy and I don't want to miss months again where I feel like a shitty mom because I'm throwing up all day and just miserable. Now that I'm feeling good though I see myself thinking of a 4th. But most likely done at 3

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  26. I have two, a boy (4.5) and girl (just turned 2). They are just shy of 2.5yrs apart. We never had a number prior to planning for our family but once we had our son and then daughter, we told ourselves one of each how perfect! We are done! With the difficulty navigating two and the infant stage again I swore we were done. That is until my daughter turned 1yr, then 1.5yrs- this was the age my son was when we started trying for her. I go back and forth with wanting a third. I don't quiet feel complete and it saddens me to think I will never be pregnant again, yet again things are finally getting easy for us and growing into a new stage. Who knows what will happen, Im sure what is meant to be will be!!

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  27. i always thought i wanted three because i grew up as an only child but after we had our second, we really felt complete. we have one boy charlie who is 4 and a daughter lorelai who is 1. and i just feel done in a happy, good, whole way. my husband completely agrees also. we really feel that every one in our family is meant to be here.

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  28. When my husband and I first started talking about how many kids we'd like to have, we had originally had said we'd like two kiddos. Then we had our daughter, and we considered having three. Now that we're expecting #2, we're just focussed on bringing this one into the world safely and may change our minds for a third. You never know what could happen, really, so we're not dead-set on "needing" three kids. We're definitely happy with two for now!

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  29. My little guy will be one in 12 days! (Seriously this past year has gone way too fast!) I will have insurance again in March so I think we are planning to try for another one then. If I get pregnant right away the they will be almost exactly 2 years apart. I grew up with only 1 sibling so all my life I though that 2 would be the right number for me, but my husband had 2 siblings so he has said that he may want to have 3 kids and I am warming up to that idea. Right now our house is definitely not big enough for 3, so we shall just wait a see what the future holds. Our first was not planned so I never had 'baby fever', but I've totally had it for the past few months. I find myself jealous of pregnant women and families with newborns... And then my boy wakes me up at 4am and the fever goes away a little bit as I remember the the sleepless newborn days :) I also find myself being nervous that I won't be able to get pregnant again, or that I will miscarry. Pregnancy is beautiful and scary at the same time. Your boys are adorable, I love looking at your Instagram pics! I'm kinda hoping for another boy!

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  30. We have decided to not plan anymore, we didn't plan our first daughter (she's 2 now) and then we planned to start trying for number 2 when she was 1 years old.. we had 3 miscarriages this year our last one at 15 weeks, we lost our baby boy :( We have now decided to wait a bit and let me body recover and then whatever happens will happen! I always wanted 2 babies quite close together but that is not possible now and is out or our control!

    Kerry @ Lived With Love | Mummy, Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

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  31. We have three girls. All are about 2 years apart. They are great friends and are each other's best (and worst) playmates. We are done at three; at times I feel that pang for another baby, but when I look to what's ahead (no diapers, no pregnancy side effects, no more birth hospital bills) I get excited and feel settled with our family. I thought the jump from one to two was easy; two to three has been much harder. This is my limit. I don't think I could be the best mom I could be to my kids if we were to have more. :)

    I have been a reader of your blog since Henry was just born when I became a mom for the first time as well. What a joy it is for me to see your family grow (even though we don't know each other). I'd love to see you round out your collection soon ;) Kidding. But, seriously, your babies are adorable. The world could use another baby Hampton.

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  32. I have two boys 3.5 & 11 months. The hubs and I are talking about baby #3 (a girl we hope). We are hoping for a pregnancy around summer.

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  33. My boyfriend of almost 3 years has a daughter from a previous relationship, and that's given me - someone who always thought she'd never have kids at all - a feel for the crazy world of raising a little person. We talk all the time about what we want to do after we get married/I'm out of grad school, do we want to have a child of our own or will we be okay with just Lily? The age gap would be decently large, about 7-8 years. I constantly go back and forth between wanting every stage I go through with Lily to be "the last time", and also wondering what it would be like to create a life with someone I love. Definitely something to think about for the next 5 years. :)

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  34. I just had my third! He's itty bitty and just about four weeks old. We've always said we wanted three or four. We currently have a three year old, two year old, and newborn. The "I was just pregnant part" of me says no way I'm done. Who knows. Maybe I'll change my mind in a year :)

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  35. Hey there, i've reading your blog for a while and it's actually pretty crazy how often i read One of your post and feel like i could have written it myself. I may be a 31 year old french girl working as a beauty Editor and living in Paris, i do think a lot ( and i mean A LOT) like you. So tonight (11pm here) i decided i should leave you a little note because this is such a topic that comes often accross my mind. I had my first baby (boy) back in march this year. He turned 9 months last week. And i have always dreamed to have at least 3 kids when people keeps on telling me 2 is enough with our crazy lives / cost of life here. Which is kinda true. I know that me and my husband both want baby 2 but i could never say now that i'll be done after baby 2. I just cant, i need to let that door open and we will see. But i would definitely say yes for a third baby !

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  36. Hey there, i've reading your blog for a while and it's actually pretty crazy how often i read One of your post and feel like i could have written it myself. I may be a 31 year old french girl working as a beauty Editor and living in Paris, i do think a lot ( and i mean A LOT) like you. So tonight (11pm here) i decided i should leave you a little note because this is such a topic that comes often accross my mind. I had my first baby (boy) back in march this year. He turned 9 months last week. And i have always dreamed to have at least 3 kids when people keeps on telling me 2 is enough with our crazy lives / cost of life here. Which is kinda true. I know that me and my husband both want baby 2 but i could never say now that i'll be done after baby 2. I just cant, i need to let that door open and we will see. But i would definitely say yes for a third baby !

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  37. Oh I could have written this post! I have two girls- 3 and 7 months and *think* we are done but if I think too long about being done forever with the teeny tiny baby phase, my heart starts to ache. Tough decisions!

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  38. We have three. I wanted four, but it wasn't in the cards. We have 2 daughters (18 and 15) and a son (12). I will say that the parenting get harder even as it get less physically demanding and much more expensive. The rewards are tremendous, watching my kids seek each other out for advice and comfort makes me feel more accomplished than anything else I have ever done.

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  39. I have 3 kids and I LOVE it. I'd like to have more. Personally, I think it's best to have them close together. Ours are all less than 2 years apart and it's busy, but I wouldn't have it ANY other way. Go for it girl!

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  40. I have four, two girls and two boys (in that order) 7, 3.5, almost 2 and almost 1 (both the boys were born last year, Jan. 9th and Dec. 31st) -- it's total chaos and hard and wild and everything you can imagine it to be. But it is SO FUN, and I love having all of them close in age. It has made for years of sleepless nights, thousands of diapers, and going out to eat is the biggest luxury in life (that never happens!) -- but I wouldn't trade it for a thing!

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  41. I'm not a mother yet, but me and my husband would love to have two kids. I know deep down he wants to raise a little football team, so I had to settle the deal with two kids, if life allows, if not at least one.
    I still find the concept of motherhood a bit scary, but reading your blog and seeing all these comments gives me some peace of mind. Being a mother is a grand adventure, and knowing even though I won't probably know what to do most of the time, things always fall into place.

    Rita
    http://heyrita.co.uk/

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  42. I'm almost 30 and my husband and I do not want children at all - for a million reasons that are right for us. But I do enjoy the blog posts about them, the instagram photos, and the stories of others children.

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  43. We are the parents to four girls. We started having babes when we were 25. We now have a 6 1/2 year old, almost 5 year old, 2 year old and 5 week old. Our first girls were close together. I bounced back easily from pregnancy and we just tried and it happened really quickly. Our third was not necessarily planned. We were just really hoping. I truly find 3 easier than two, especially now that my older babes occupy each other. 4 is all encompassing. The house is filled with happy sounds all the time. It is lovely but can be a bit much. I'm in full on mama mode leaving very little time to explore my own interests but I'm working hard to carve out time for my soul and self. I would love to have more kids but my body and brain can only handle so much. I must say that I personally love all the spacing of my children.

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  44. I was recently blessed with my first after a time when I thought I was going to end up not ever having children. I was an only child raised by a widowed mother and it was absolutely lonely and long planned to at least have two or three children to extend a larger family life. But now that I am older and just going through the ebb and flow of taking care of one child and how straining it can be on your relationship at times, I wonder if one is just enough now. I don't even know if I can have any more children now that I turned 34. But if I can make it through another 8 months, I wouldn't hate the idea of trying for the second. Especially since it could offer my son a companion to play as well as give me that larger family life I long wanted to have. Besides, I already miss the new baby moments since mine is already 8 months. It whizzes by too quickly!

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  45. We have four girls, and only #3 was intentional. Four children is very busy and occupies your life entirely most days, but big families are wonderful and I love what our future looks like.

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  46. my husband and i love the idea of having four ... but of course we haven't had our first yet so it's all wishful thinking! we both come from a family of five, and love having two siblings ... so at least three!

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  47. Oh my goodness! This has been on my mind so much. I always thought I would like 3, and after meeting my husband I even bumped up to 4. I love the idea of a big family. I'm currently pregnant with #2, but it really took some work, mindwise, to be ready for that because my first birth was very traumatic. So basically, a lot is falling on #2's shoulders, when he or she makes their appearance. I feel like if I can have a healing birth (nothing crazy-- just not traumatic is all I am really hoping for) that I can do this again and maybe even again. But if I end up in a similar situation to my first birth, I am pretty sure my body and brain will be calling it quits on pregnancy. Maybe I'll just get some fancy designer tube babies.

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  48. I'm not a mother yet, but my husband and I have talked about having 3. I've always imagined them being 2-3 years apart.

    ♥ Naomi Starry Eyes + Coffee Cups

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  49. Dani girl you speak right to my mama heart. My husband and I have always wanted a big family! "Big" is so relative right? ;) But 6 was our magic number too. Until we had two. (Seriously our stories are oh so similar). There's a two year gap between the first two, then two and a half between the last...and probably/hopefully three or less before the next one comes. In this moment, 4 sounds insane to me. But goodness I can't describe I'm words how badly I want a sister for Ava. So if our next is a boy, it's going to get crazy up in here because I'll probably want a 5th. Hahaha ;) But I think you'd agree, one or two or more kids just creates uniquely hard and uniquely awesome situations and seasons in life. Cheers to those "sometimes sweet" moments making up for the not-so-sweet ones right?? You're a beautifully passionate mama. Whether you stick with these two sweet babes of yours, or choose to add more, they'll all be blessed to have you. xo

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  50. I am the same exact way! I love the idea of having another one, but we are at such a good age with Sydney and are way past all of the baby things. Do I WANT to change the family dynamic that we have? I think it's one of those things that would just have to happen.

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  51. We have 3 boys ages 7 1/2, 5 1/2 and 2 1/2 (all there birthdays are about 2 weeks apart). We only ever planned for 2 and after having my second (both c-section) I was on the fence. I had days where 2 was enough then days that I wanted another. My husband was DONE at 2. But there came a point where I knew for sure I wanted a third. It took a bit of sitting down and chatting with hubby but we had a third. I knew going in for my third c-section that I was done so I had my tubes tied right after they took baby out. And I am glad I made that choice. I just felt like 4 was SO many and twins run in both our families... I am so content with 3 and feel like my family is complete and I wouldn't change anything. A bit of pink and fluffy dresses would have been fun but I love living in my house of all boys! Here is my blog link if you would like to put faces to this comment ;) https://jhawryluk.wordpress.com/

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