Sunday, April 12, 2015

My Spring.



Isn't Spring just the best? I've taken great pleasure this year in watching the brown fall away and fresh buds start to pop up. I've enjoyed seeing our town slowly renew bit by bit, tree by tree, until one day while taking Henry to school I realized that overnight we had moved into full-blown, bright green, Spring.

It makes me think a lot about the spring going on in my own life, and the women around me. Most of my close friends are in their 30s too, and I'm learning that this is a truly magical age. Yes, magical. I try to use this word sparingly because at times it can sound a little silly, but let me tell you, my twenty-something readers, the thirties are the very best. Look forward to it, be excited. And to women out of your thirties, maybe you'd tell me to just wait, because it only gets better (and I hope it does), but I know that this right here, right now- it's beautiful. I'm nowhere near having it all figured out, but I do know how much I'm enjoying this current chapter of being alive. And particularly, the refreshing and renewing and bettering that's happening right now as the seasons shift and we find ourselves in Spring.

There's a lot to it, the magical parts of this decade. Maybe it has something to do with just not giving a fuck anymore. Maybe it has something to do with beginning to really look at yourself, to see who you are and what you like, and making peace with that. Not pleasing others, not worrying about opinions, just doing you. And for some, "doing you" really means "doing us." There are opinions that matter- for me, it's my husband and children.

For many of us I feel like our teens and twenties are peppered with mini-shifts, tiny blips, circles repeating over and over of "this is who I am, who I want to be, who I am not..." And then as you emerge from that, stepping into your 30s, something very neat happens- you start to see a little more clearly and begin to realize that these circles are some of the most amazing parts of your story- they've been the vehicles to get you right to where you are, right now, and any feelings of regret or strangeness regarding that journey begin to fall away. You are you, this life is yours, and it's beautiful.

I write a lot about this topic because I find it fascinating. My most recent book picks have all been memoirs written by women in their 50s and 60s, sharing what they've learned and how they've learned it. I enjoy reading things like this because it causes me to take a look at my own life and see the things I'll one day reflect upon, happening in real-time. It's a hyper-awareness of the legacy you'll leave, open eyes as you takes steps onwards and upwards. And I like it.

So here I am. Spring at 32. Almost 33, really. Another year of my life is coming full-circle and it's exciting to me to step into a new one. I never thought too much about my birthday being in May, but I see now how wonderful it is to be born in the springtime when everything is fresh and new again. And then being reborn every year as the calendar flips- a magical season in a magical season.

I'm grateful as I look around at the green leaves and the green grass and the flowers popping up. There's an excitement blooming inside of my chest and I can't help but feel like this new beautiful part of me is just starting to push through, the sunshine and warmth coaxing me out of myself once again, saying c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.

12 comments:

  1. It's weird seeing you say fuck lol, I don't know but I didnt think you cursed. Hope you don't take offense to that.

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  2. Yes. So much this: our thirties ARE magical. We get to shed so much angst and self-doubt and just enjoy being US. Here's hoping it only gets better.

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  3. I thought so too! Had to read it twice lol. Still it is a wonderful post. Xx

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  4. Loved this Dani!! You make me excited to turn 30 next year!! :) xoxo

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  5. Such a lovely post - I'm in my early 20s and things are still quite confusing as I'm (as you say) still trying to figure out what I want to do. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and I'm very happy, but its nice to know that it gets easier and that there are things to look forward to!

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  6. I agree - your 30s really are the best (so far!). Also, I love the recurring themes of growth and reflection throughout your writing, Dani, and how you really take stock of your life and soak it all in. You write about it so beautifully, too.

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  7. Yes! Agreed, 30's are the best!!!! I think the 40's will be even better.

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  8. What a great post! Thank you for sharing this. I just turned 26 in January and I can slowly feel myself peeling away the layers of worry for getting older. My grandmother once told me that her 30's were when she started coming into her own and really becoming aware of her life and everything in it. It's refreshing to see someone going through that now. Happy Spring!

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  9. I'm twentyfive and I'm still learning, but I love that. And I love putting little achievements next to each age - like at 21 I bought a toilet. I'm sure not many other people can say that at 21 they bought a toilet - sad but true! At 24 I bought new carpets and I look at them everyday and think 'shit! I saved up forever and bought that!'. At 25 I'm learning to look at myself in the mirror and love what I see. It's at random times, like after I've been running or baking or gardening and I catch my reflection in something and think 'woah, that's me and I look alright'. I'm so happy and I hope that I can make and remember and value more moments like these in the future - especially when I'm 32 ;)

    ohhellojo.blogspot.com

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  10. Love that you feel like this. It's always nice to see someone enjoying their life in their 30's instead of moping through it. I'm just at the beginning of my 20's(hello 23 in September) and, man, life is hard. It's emotional and trying and overwhelming. There are just so many ups and downs in your twenties and it's difficult to figure out who you want to be. I actually look forward to being 30 one day(maybe because 3 is my favorite number...) but I think there is a beauty about it even if I am not there yet. Thanks for being so encouraging to us younger women. It helps us have something to look forward to instead of dreading it. Always love your writing, Dani.

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  11. Dear Dani, thank you so much for these beautiful words :) This is exactly what I`m feeling. I`ll turn 32 this year and I never felt more to be just ME! Twenties had been a great time, too. But getting older is actually pretty fabulous because you gain so many important experiences that make you wiser and stronger!!!
    Keep on writing :)

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  12. Dear Dani, thank you so much for these beautiful words :) This is exactly what I`m feeling. I`ll turn 32 this year and I never felt more to be just ME! Twenties had been a great time, too. But getting older is actually pretty fabulous because you gain so many important experiences that make you wiser and stronger!!!
    Keep on writing :)

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