Sunday, April 12, 2015
Isn't Spring just the best? I've taken great pleasure this year in watching the brown fall away and fresh buds start to pop up. I've enjoyed seeing our town slowly renew bit by bit, tree by tree, until one day while taking Henry to school I realized that overnight we had moved into full-blown, bright green, Spring.
It makes me think a lot about the spring going on in my own life, and the women around me. Most of my close friends are in their 30s too, and I'm learning that this is a truly magical age. Yes, magical. I try to use this word sparingly because at times it can sound a little silly, but let me tell you, my twenty-something readers, the thirties are the very best. Look forward to it, be excited. And to women out of your thirties, maybe you'd tell me to just wait, because it only gets better (and I hope it does), but I know that this right here, right now- it's beautiful. I'm nowhere near having it all figured out, but I do know how much I'm enjoying this current chapter of being alive. And particularly, the refreshing and renewing and bettering that's happening right now as the seasons shift and we find ourselves in Spring.
There's a lot to it, the magical parts of this decade. Maybe it has something to do with just not giving a fuck anymore. Maybe it has something to do with beginning to really look at yourself, to see who you are and what you like, and making peace with that. Not pleasing others, not worrying about opinions, just doing you. And for some, "doing you" really means "doing us." There are opinions that matter- for me, it's my husband and children.
For many of us I feel like our teens and twenties are peppered with mini-shifts, tiny blips, circles repeating over and over of "this is who I am, who I want to be, who I am not..." And then as you emerge from that, stepping into your 30s, something very neat happens- you start to see a little more clearly and begin to realize that these circles are some of the most amazing parts of your story- they've been the vehicles to get you right to where you are, right now, and any feelings of regret or strangeness regarding that journey begin to fall away. You are you, this life is yours, and it's beautiful.
I write a lot about this topic because I find it fascinating. My most recent book picks have all been memoirs written by women in their 50s and 60s, sharing what they've learned and how they've learned it. I enjoy reading things like this because it causes me to take a look at my own life and see the things I'll one day reflect upon, happening in real-time. It's a hyper-awareness of the legacy you'll leave, open eyes as you takes steps onwards and upwards. And I like it.
So here I am. Spring at 32. Almost 33, really. Another year of my life is coming full-circle and it's exciting to me to step into a new one. I never thought too much about my birthday being in May, but I see now how wonderful it is to be born in the springtime when everything is fresh and new again. And then being reborn every year as the calendar flips- a magical season in a magical season.
I'm grateful as I look around at the green leaves and the green grass and the flowers popping up. There's an excitement blooming inside of my chest and I can't help but feel like this new beautiful part of me is just starting to push through, the sunshine and warmth coaxing me out of myself once again, saying c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.