Thursday, May 28, 2015

Here's What I've Learned, at 32.


I don't turn 33 until tomorrow, but I wanted to share this today. Really, this was maybe my most favorite year yet (which I'm aware I say every year). I feel like 32 has been full of so much personal growth and change that I get a little emotional just thinking about it. And okay yes, I know I say that every year too. But I think that's actually a really great thing, right? How does that saying go? If you're not moving forward, you're going backward? Or something.

So here's what I've learned, at 32:

In order to succeed, you need your team. It takes a long time to build one, believe me. In the past couple of years I had to move on from some people that didn't add love and light to my life, and if you find yourself in the same boat, that's okay- it's all part of the process. Wish them well, and move on. You want people who are going to cheer so loudly when you succeed- and also be there when you don't. These people should be past the Instagram highlight reel. These are the friends who know the deep, dark depths of you, the ones you never have to second guess yourself around, the people who know all the shitty parts of your weird self and love you all the same. Find these people. Or that person. Keep them close. Cultivate those relationships. And it's okay to have all the other types of friends too- internet friends, party friends, weekend friends, workout buddies. But one of the biggest things I've learned is that not everyone will be on your team, and trying to fit every person in your life into such a special, sacred place does not work. Stop doing it. Save your best energy for the people closest to you.

Also, none of this shit matters. Seriously, it doesn't. The only thing that matters is that you wake up in the morning and you feel like you're doing a good job at being a good human being. That you're being the best wife you can be, the best Mom, the best sister, daughter, friend, whatever, and doing every single thing in your life with kindness and love. That's it. Anything else- what someone thinks about you, all of the little things you worry about, random stuff that pops into your mind and doesn't go away- it doesn't matter. You want love? Be love. You want light? Be light. Be what you want to see, and you will see more of exactly that.

And it's okay to change. It's been a theme here over the past year, and for good reason. I went from a stay-at-home Mom who only wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom, to a work-from-home Mom who now can't imagine anything different. My interests shifted as I found myself developing a deep passion for the outdoors. I learned so many new things about myself- and I think that was my most favorite part of the entire past year and the adventures I went on- finding new, exciting parts of me I never knew were there. That is the most amazing thing about being human and experiencing new things- it's like we turn this corner inside ourselves and walk into this brand new place in a very old house- it's scary and awesome and reminds us that we are alive, and that there is a possibility of so much more.

The biggest thing that I gained during my 32nd year though, was a much deeper self-acceptance. It feels good to be ME, in all of my silly, nerdy, happy, too-sappy, sometimes flippant, adventurous, emotional, mercurial glory. And to feel so excited about other people being THEM. All the yous being yous and the mes being mes. It feels so goddamn good to look around and see the world in this way, you guys. I have to really dial it back sometimes because I could write pages about it- about knowing that I am enough. This has seeped into every part of my life as a great joy- I. Am. Enough.

And so 32, you were fantastic. I look back with my rose-colored glasses and even though I see the bad, hard, sometimes frustrating stuff, I am fully aware its all part of it. Throw it all in a bottle and shake, shake, shake, and the goodness will rise to the top. And that's what I'm focusing on. I don't mind getting older. I love birthdays. Looking around the table as I blow out my candles- Hank, Henry, Charlie- they are what matter, and I am forever grateful that they are mine. The possibilities of the future are endless, and it's really exciting to think about what's on the horizon. So thank you sweet readers, for being on this ride with me- I truly, truly appreciate you. Here's to 33!

20 comments:

  1. What a lovely post. And happy birthday! Love, your internet friend, Anna! :)

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  2. I love this! I always your posts about the wisdom you have found over the year. I still remember your post about turning 30. Which I've thought about often since I will be hitting that milestone this summer! I can't to tackle the next decade!

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  3. Happy birthday! Thanks for this great post, self-acceptance is so difficult, I hope I get there by 32! I love the part where you say "be what you want to see." Great thought to remember :)

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  4. Such a great post!! thanks so much for being so open & honest! Especially love the part of what truly matters! at 30 I'm beginning to turn that page and realizing that I am enough- such a great reminder!

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  5. Happy Birthday! I have really been enjoying your writing!

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  6. Every single word is so so so true. I am for 100% with you. Wish you all the best: lots of love, health, time for the lovely things in life. Your "internet friend" from Germany Aleksandra

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  7. Such beautiful and inspiring words, as always Danielle! I hope you have a truly wonderful birthday and that the next year is as good to you as it sounds like this one has been!

    Anna xo | The Girl In The Moon

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  8. I turned 33 in January and I learned so many of these same lessons in just the past year as well. It's hard to put it all into words sometimes, into words that others will really "get" and FEEL - but you sum it up very eloquently. Happy Birthday!

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  9. Happy Birthday dearest Dani :)
    You got it girl! In a couple of months I'll turn 32 and I think and feel exactly the same! When you want something positive to happen you have to do something positive, too.
    Thanks again for sharing your lovely and honest thoughts with us :*

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  10. "it's like we turn this corner inside ourselves and walk into this brand new place in a very old house"

    This. This is perfect. Happy Birthday Dani!

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  11. Amazing. I turn 33 in a couple months and you couldn't have said it better. Happy Birthday to you.
    Be love, Be light, be whatever you want. Amazing.

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  12. I love the idea of shaking all the bad stuff away. Wishing you another amazing year! Happy 33rd!

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  13. Best article ever. I just turned 31 and 32 looks so promising.

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  14. This was beautiful. Thank you! Happy Birthday!

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  15. I always love your writing Dani. You are wise! I love your perspective and ability to embrace each year. xo

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  16. Omg, happy birthday!!! #TeamGemini

    This post was just beautiful. And I couldn't agree more. Luckily for me, I just turned 19 years old 4 days ago, and I already read these kind of good advices. It makes me to think and value life and people and love more.

    Thank you for writing this post and I hope you have another fantastic year ahead by being 33! :)

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  17. Well said, Dani. As always, I love your wise words and thoughtful reflections. And happy birthday - hope you're having a wonderful time with your family and enjoying New England!

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  18. This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it--you've reminded me of the core truths I've learned this year and to hold those things dear.

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  19. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope your next year is just as good or even better.

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