Thursday, December 3, 2015

From This Pocket.

I've been on the verge of tears for a good month I think, which might be the weirdest way to ever begin a blog post. But it's true. I feel like the world is in a sad place right now, and I feel sad that I don't know what to do. So I focus on our little pocket of life here and I ask myself, what are we teaching our boys? What kind of children are we raising? I've been thinking about this a lot more than usual lately. Everything feels different since I became a parent- emotions sharper, feelings heavier, both for better and for worse. Every morning on the way to school Henry requests we listen to "Keep Your Head Up" by Ben Howard, then Charlie always wants to hear "One Day" by Matisyahu. Emotional.

But there's so much GOOD to share from this pocket, you know? And even when things feel really low everywhere else and there's a little bit of me that feels like maybe this isn't the time to share goodness...I'm reminded that it actually is a great to share it. So yes! Change is all around us. Major career changes, milestone birthdays, big shifts in our life. And it's all good. And weird too. 2016 is shaping to be a good, exciting, full year. And full in a GOOD way. I learned so, so much about that in particular in 2015. It's not over yet so I think I'll save my big thoughts on that for later, but I'm looking forward to a different kind of full in 2016.

So here we are with November over. Onto the next, yeah? And I know we all say this every year, but how did this happen? Twenty-something days until Christmas and I swear to you, I'm in shock. I feel like summer was literally a month ago maybe. And now it's cold and the leaves are all falling off of the trees, and I'm wearing everything warm I can layer.

I drive the same way everyday, twice. And it's such an interesting thing, to be in the car season of our lives, as a girlfriend and I affectionately call it thanks to the back and forth all day long. It's only the beginning of it for me, but we're definitely there. And it's also interesting that because of this drive, I've become so in touch with the seasons. Every day I drive down this one particular street four times, and we've watched the summer green turn to autumn orange, and now to snow and leaf-less branches. It puts a lot in perspective in the cheesiest way, watching things change like this. I like it.

October and November were good to us. Whenever this time of the year rolls around I feel like it must be my favorite, but then the holidays come and then spring and's all just so exciting. This Fall though was extra-special because it brought our Henry into a new era- five years old! With the flip of the calendar all of a sudden he's BIG! And OLD! And no longer a baby. It's actually really weird. I'm sure it's mostly in our head but if you follow me on Instagram I'm sure you've noticed too- he is looking very grown up lately.

Thanksgiving was especially great and definitely notable this year. We were able to reconnect with some family we haven't seen in awhile and the whole day was full of love and happiness, where at times in the past I have felt stressed. This was one of the best things about last month.

Moving forward my hope is that I continue to slow us down. More intentional with our time, thinking harder about how we spend it! That's what I want for us. And it's so crazy now to think that we have a two year old and a five year old. Big kid stuff. Will 2016 be the year we grow our family? I don't know. But this right now is such a great place to be...and that's what I'm focusing on at the moment, being in the now, being thankful for what we have, and extra grateful for the opportunities in this next year. Let's see what you've got for us, December!



  1. Lovely post! Your boys are just so beautiful! xo


  2. Danielle,
    In felt so touched after reading this. I was literally telling my husband last night, "I think I have a hormone imbalance, because lately I have been brought to tears by what seems to be EVERYTHING." But, then I started pondering it a bit more deeply, and I had similar thoughts and feelings to what you mentioned in this post. Thoughts about what a sad state the world is in. Fear and deep sorrow about this being the reality of the world our kids love in. But reading your post, and trying to look on the upside of things, had me thinking that this new emotional me has its perks. I feel joy and happiness more intensely too. Thank you for the reminder that there is a lot if good in the world, and that is something to share with our kids and to be happy about!

  3. Oh that was from me, Jessica (Buell) Kerr

  4. I've said this before, but you're such an amazing writer! I completely agree with everything you say here. I'm always thinking about time and changes. I always feel badly because I can't wait for the year to be over, but I also wish I could just stop and enjoy right now. I feel like I'm constantly thinking about tomorrow and I wish I wasn't like that. There's is so much negativity in the world today and I'm not really sure what to think of it. I wish it would end, obviously, but there's just nothing to do. I hope I can fulfill all the dreams I have in life.

  5. I totally feel the same way these days... the world seems to be so very sad right now... and as a mama myself I keep looking at my kiddos and wondering what kind of world they have to look forward to. I want it to be better, kinder, wiser and gentler than it is.... Thanks for this post, your writing is lovely. (My kids love that Ben Howard song too. It is a gooodie.)
    Love wren

  6. I sometimes wonder if the time seems to go so much quicker just because you have children or if it is just as you get older. Everything always seems on fast forward. Love these photos of you and the boys, so natural and pretty. Henry has such a happy face :)