Thursday, January 14, 2016

Unstuck.

Walking back from lunch yesterday in downtown LA. Top and dress here.

Do you ever get stuck and feel like because you haven't blogged in awhile, the next thing you share has to be really special? That's where I'm at/where I've been at. I keep starting and restarting posts thinking- whatever this is will be my first post of 2016. And none of it was what I wanted to say really, none of it seemed special or noteworthy enough. Blogging is so different now, right? I often feel like what I share on Instagram is enough, and maybe it is! haha. But ultimately, I don't want that to be my main way of documenting, and usually if I don't have time to share something I really want to share, I won't share anything. But then I end up in a place where nothing really seems suitable to post, and on it goes.

So hello, this is my first post of 2016 ! It's not anything special, but hey, that's okay. I just wanted to say hi, and see how you're doing. I'm writing this from a hotel bed in LA. I'm here for work for just 24 hours and I figured I would type up a quick post before I head to sleep. It's so loud in this room, which looks right out onto the street. Flower St. maybe, or the other cross street, I don't really know where I am exactly. It's such a contrast from sleeping at home though. We live in the quietest neighborhood where it is positively silent most of the time. It's funny to me, these two sharply different worlds. Small town, big city. (and now I'm home- I started this post the night before last.)

I was trying to think of a few things that have been on my mind lately, to share with you guys. I feel like there's SO much. I just went through the weirdest year of my life, all in my head. I have never ever grown more as a person or changed so much without even outwardly appearing to change, than I have over the past 12 months. I'm so happy about it. I like where I've arrived, and I look forward to exploring more of it this year through more yoga and more meditation! I almost wrote medication, which made me laugh, because without yoga I think I would surely need some. It keeps me sane. And ohh, speaking of sane, do you know what I told Hank last night? (I've already talked about this here about 1,000,000x so prepare yourself! haha!) So we have been talking about having another baby. I'm really crazy about this and go back and forth every other day about timing. And this is all assuming I'd be able to get pregnant again! Who really knows! But I always thought, one more. And soon. But then something is planned- a trip, a long backpacking trip, something non-baby friendly- and we say, "Okay, after that." But now as we go along, I see that there is always something. So if not now, when? And to add to it, I have been having these thoughts like- oh, there is no way we'll be done at three. It's kind of daunting to think about, I'm 33 and having two more kids...oh man. But I keep thinking about love and family, and how this is all that matters. Why wouldn't we want to have a house full of little ones? I feel like this is my happiness, so why not have a LOT of it? So yeah, welcome to my brain...

What else, what else? Have you gotten into Periscope at all? I think I'm going to try to hop on soon. It seems like a lot of fun and good way to connect. I've been enjoying Snapchat a lot, but I kind of hate that there's not really a great way to connect. Obviously you can snap me back, but I love the idea of Periscope and being able to chat right there. Thoughts?

So that's it for now. I have so much love for this site, I want to write more, more regularly. I miss it when I don't, even though sometimes I don't know how I would find more time in the day to do so. But I'm going to keep trying! I love you guys. Happy Thursday.

xoxo

9 comments:

  1. I totally get the not knowing where to start after being stopped for a while. Sometimes, I think the only answer is to just jump back in and say something -- anything -- to break the ice. My biggest problem? I come up with something I want to share (along with the perfect phrasing, of course!) while I am in the shower or driving or some other equally inconvenient place, but by the time I can sit down to type, or even just scribble some notes, POOF! Vanished into thin air.

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    1. Same! I think I need to start doing voice memos! hah!

      Thank you for reading. :)

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  2. A good friend of mine said the other day, "I feel like I'm unable to make any plans that are more than 9 months away from now because I keep thinking, 'but what if I get pregnant again?!'"It's a weird time in your life to be in your early thirties.
    Hell, the rest of it might be weird, too, but I haven't made it there yet. :)

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    1. Same page as your friend! :)

      Yay, 30s! hah.

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  3. You are doing fine....keep blogging, we keep reading ! Maybe the next one will be a girl ( :

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  4. I feel you! I get like that pretty much every day. When I finish writing a post and go to edit it I always end up deleting the whole thing. Or if I post it and I end up not being happy with it a day or two later, I edit it or delete it completely.

    Welcome to 2016, I think its the year of Do what Makes you Happy....and if that's one or two posts a week, or every two weeks...so be it! :)

    -Ashlee Michelle
    www.makeupandmodifieds.com

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    1. Okay I love that! That is a great theme for 2016! :)

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  5. Sometimes posts just need to be like this! My brain feels like this all the time. It's nice to get some of the thoughts out. I agree with you that there is no right time. My hubby and I thought we had it "all planned out" but have been having fertility issues for 3 years now. Goes to show that you can't plan, just do! Happy 2016!

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