Sunday, August 28, 2016
Musings From a Star Wars Sweatshirt
Tonight I sat on Henry's floor sorting laundry to put away in his drawers, when I came across his hooded Star Wars sweatshirt. I immediately was brought back to 2010, walking through an Old Navy somewhere. Maybe here in Prescott before it closed, maybe in Phoenix. But the biggest thing I remember is being pregnant. I had just found out I was having a boy, and I had spent the day hunting for cool baby boy clothes. This was actually much harder than it sounds back then, and the pickings were so slim. But when I found this sweatshirt I was so happy. Hank loves Star Wars so I knew this would be so exciting for him, even though it was a size 6T...which was HUGE to me in comparison to the newborn clothes I'd been buying.
I brought it home, washed and hung it up. That sweatshirt was almost a joke to us- there we were, about to have a tiny baby, and we had a really large, big kid sweatshirt hanging in the nursery closet. It was such a silly juxtaposition that we had to laugh- but to me it was almost a reminder that he will fit into this one day, and how fast that time will go by.
And now it's over six years later and I'm sitting on Henry's floor folding the sweatshirt up to put away in his drawer. I've folded newborn clothing on this very floor, baby items, toddler odds and ends...and now this. It's exactly the right size right now, if just a little short. In the blink of an eye it fit him, and in equal quickness he'll soon grow out of it. And I can remember the first time he put it on. I had forgotten about the sweatshirt after so many years, but we were going through his closet, making room for new bigger sizes and I saw it there, in the very back. Henry was so excited- he put it on right away and of course...it fit. It was one of those weird moments, when time goes back and speeds up so quickly to the present, all in the same breath.
Parenting has been like that for me- long days but short years, everything seeming slow while I'm in it, but speeding way by too quickly in retrospect. I think back to that expectant mother I once was- I had no idea what the future would hold for me, for us. And here we are, that once-huge sweatshirt being worn to kindergarten, being worn to soccer practice, being tried on by another little one, a brother, asking me when he'll be big enough to fit into it...when I actually know the truth- so, so much sooner than he could ever guess.
This is life. Time goes by. But for tonight, I'm hugging my babies a little tighter, in an effort to slow it all down even for just one moment.