Wednesday, October 26, 2016
On Finding Out Our GIRL News!
Oh my gosh, I just typed out that title and it's still a shock for me to even write. Never in my life did I think I would be having a little girl. I shared the news yesterday on Instagram but I wanted to type this all out so I wouldn't forget what turned out to be one of the most special days of our life.
Hank and I always talked about having a few kids. I would honestly have SIX if I could, but three became our magic number as time went on. I knew that when we tried for this baby, our third, that he or she would most likely be our last. We talked often about how badly I wanted to experience raising both sexes, but I also tried to remain firmly rooted in reality that the chances of that happening were slim. I always felt like if I set myself up to accept that it probably wouldn't happen, that if it didn't I would feel okay, and if it did, it would be an amazing surprise.
This time around I felt different the moment I became pregnant. I knew exactly what night it was while we were in Switzerland, because I swear, the next day things started tasting different. Had I read this coming from someone else I would be so skeptical, like how is that even possible? But I swear, this meat (in a traditional Swiss dish) I had previously loved suddenly tasted extremely gamey and gross and this little tiny voice in my head was like- "you're pregnant!" Then later when we got home, and found out I was in fact pregnant, I woke up one morning with the oddest taste in my mouth- almost like I had pennies in there- and everything tasted horribly metallic. I could brush my teeth 10x and even plain water still tasted like metal. It was the weirdest thing. I had NEVER experienced this with the boys so that same little voice was like "and it's a girl!" But of course I didn't believe it, even when I Googled and it said it was something called Dysgeusia, which comes from having more estrogen in your body. Interesting now, considering I absolutely do have more estrogen in my body since baby is in fact a girl!
As my pregnancy went on there were some noticeable differences, and now at almost 20 weeks I look back and it's so obvious how different this pregnancy has been even thought at first it felt the same. I felt no major queasiness with the boys, whereas this time I definitely did. No true morning sickness but just felt slightly nauseous overall throughout the day here and there. This time I have had strange food aversions and tastes, have felt more tired than ever in the first trimester, and my mood swings and emotions were all over the place. With the boys I felt elated from day one, but I was really depressed the entire first trimester with this pregnancy, which was a total surprise for me and out of the ordinary.
So when we went into the ultrasound and our tech started the process, my nerves were everywhere. Each pregnancy I've been so anxious over the fact that it's not a scan just for the sex of the baby, it's an anatomy scan that checks to be sure everything is growing and progressing as it should. It's nerve wracking, but the tech kept reassuring us that this looked good or that looked good as she moved through the ultrasound, and I started to feel better. Even so, the butterflies were still going strong as she approached the end of our hour and the anticipation of girl or boy was hanging in the air. In all of our previous ultrasounds with the boys I saw a penis pop up on the screen and it was very obvious (if you're a boy Mom you know what I'm talking about)...but this time I hadn't seen that yet.
Our tech said "Okay...do you want to know what you're having?" This is all in slow motion to me, which sounds so dramatic but when I think back to it, that's how it felt- and she said "You're having a perfectly healthy baby....GIRL!" We seriously SCREAMED and I immediately started crying. Hard! It was hands down one of the most amazing moments in my life. I did NOT think she was going to say girl and when she did...it was the coolest feeling ever. Hank and I are there, crying, so excited, and I keep asking her- ARE YOU SURE? She checked so many times for me and took some very obvious photos that showed- yes, she is definitely a girl.
So now I'm sitting here typing this out, still feeling in shock. It's a really odd feeling to want something so badly and then have it happen. If baby would have been a boy I would be equally as excited and grateful and over the moon- but still, there would have been a small part of my heart that would have felt sad. I've always felt I was meant to raise a girl, and now...here we are.
We are all SO excited to welcome this baby in our family, and March can't come soon enough. The boys absolutely flipped out over the news, and they're already devising ways to make sure she isn't into any princess stuff- trucks and sports only. Hank and I had such a sweet conversation last night about this new relationship he'll get to have as a father, and all of his "girl Dad" friends have been texting him the nicest (and funniest) words of wisdom and excitement. We've had a name for her for years and years (I'll share soon), and it all just feels so right. When she arrives our little family will be complete. It's surreal. And most importantly, baby is healthy and thriving, and everything is going well.
Thank you all so much for the excitement and happy wishes for us. It was overwhelming to read through all of the comments, and I was moved to tears so many times. I/we just feel so grateful to be pregnant again, and it's wonderful to be able to share bits and pieces of that here with all of you too. So much love.