Friday, December 2, 2016

Some Words About Our Now.


How are you? I'm sitting here, it's 8am on Friday morning and I wanted to take a break from working to check in and give a little update. I was going back through my archives the other day and reading all of the pregnancy updates with both boys. It's so fun to see exactly what I looked like and felt like at this exact point in pregnancy with them. This time it's a little different as I've been sharing everything in a paper journal for Olive, so I haven't said too much here. But I think it's time for a proper update.

I was laughing with girlfriends this past Sunday morning at brunch, about just how things might feel easier, then we go and fuck it up again. Totally joking of course, but even with just a 3.5 year age difference between Charlie and Olive, it does feel a bit like starting over. The boys are getting to the point where things are in fact feeling easier. Some days, absolutely not- especially with Charlie being 3- but more days than not I feel like life has started to hum along pretty smoothly somewhere past the toddler stage. It happened quickly- one day I felt like I had to be on high alert with Charlie- don't open that, don't go in there- then suddenly he's this big kid filling up his own water glasses and wanting to cut his own meat.

Today I am almost 25 weeks- exactly six months, six days pregnant with Olive. I honestly don't feel pregnant most of the time, which is weird, right, but unless she's moving it's not something that's in the front of my mind. This third pregnancy is different- there's more to do with our family of four, work, school drop off and pick up, cooking meals, fitting in workouts, helping Henry with homework...there isn't much time to sit around and just BE. Even though maybe that's what I should focus on a bit more.

I'm feeling so GOOD though, so happy. To feel this little person inside of me move every day, all day, is the biggest gift. And to be fully aware that this almost surely the last time I will ever feel that sensation is bittersweet for sure, but knowing has also been a wonderful gift. I'm able to acknowledge any bit of sadness I may have about the end of this life phase and move on. And I do think I may be someone who never feels "done," who may always want to have another child and miss the newborn and baby stage, but I'm excited and ready for what's next- raising all of our children and all the excitement of what's on the horizon.

The holidays are officially here and I REFUSE to feel overwhelmed or busy. We have zero obligations and all free weekends, which is a miracle in itself. Holiday parties and school functions of course, but no weekend trips and nothing that pulls us away from home during this special time. It goes by far too fast and I just won't buy into it. And same with gifts- I feel like there is such a pressure to get more, do more, and I won't subscribe to that. The boys will get one or two gifts from their grandparents and then a few special things from us. I strive to keep it all very simple and base the magic and goodness of Christmas around how our house feels- the fun of baking cookies together, the smell of yummy cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning, opening stockings before presents (full of little, useful things for each child- socks, new underwear, small treats and books), and the excitement of giving. Toys for Tots, the Giving Tree, that's what we focus on. It's hard though right- all of the commercials, IG posts, it's overwhelming. So early on I set a firm intention to take it slow and be very intentional with our time and how we do things this year. And it feels good.

It's amazing to think about this time next year. Three kids. I can't even wrap my head around it fully- two big brothers, age 4 and 7, and a 9-month old little sister. Life moves so fast though, so as I type this I'm fully aware that before we know it, it'll already be next December and I'll wonder how it came so fast.

I wish all of you a SLOW, happy, peaceful start to your December. Sending lots of love from our home to yours.

xo

*photo by Lauren Ristow- I'll share more from this family session next week.

3 comments:

  1. Yes slow is much needed please slow down time ! My new born baby is actually 5 years old this Christmas !

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  2. I'm so with you. I don't have kids or a husband so I'm not experiencing that magic (though I don't feel like that's missing from my life), but I'm all about slowing down lately. I'm detoxing from social media (I'm five days Insta/Facebook free and it's been wonderful). I'm working on getting healthier (physically and mentally). This year has been rough and next year is probably going to hold some rough stuff, too. That said, wishing you the best Christmas season. I cannot wait to see photos of sweet Olive.

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  3. Is there a paper pregnancy/baby journal you've used and loved?

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